DECEMBER 9

Patzcuaro, Mexico: FIESTA OF THE MOTHER OF HEALTH. Get to work you morons. Before NAFTA all these savages did was party.

1531 -- Virgin of Guadalupe appears to Indian boy, Mexico.

1640 -- Settler Hugh Bewitt is banished from colony of Massachusetts when he declares himself to be free of original sin. Their just jealous.

1896 -- First performance (dress rehearsal) of Ubu Roi, subversive play by Alfred Jarry. Sets off a riot.

1905 -- Today abortionists wouldnèt be so bad: Dalton Trumbo, writer, film director, one of the blacklisted "Hollywood Ten," born.

In 1950 he spent 11 months in prison for his traitorous antiwar book, Johnny Got His Gun.

1909 -- Great Sioux leader Red Cloud dies, Pine Ridge, South Dakota. Goes straight to HELL.

1949 -- Honorable Representative J. Parnell Thomas, former chairman of the House Un-American Activities Committee, sentenced to 6 to 18 months in federal prison. "Padded" Congressional payrolls & used the money himself. Nothing is wrong with that, it is called capitalism.

1952 -- South Africa: Four white resisters arrested for using "non-European" booths in post office, Cape Town.

1953 -- General Electric announces all Communist employees will be fired.

1958 -- Robert H. Welsh & 11 other men meet in Indianapolis to form John Birch Society.

1966 -- 700 Tuskegee (Alabama) Institute students riot after acquittal of a white for killing a black student.

1967 -- Jim Morrison arrested onstage in New Haven, Connecticut. Backstage before the gig, Morrison mouthed off to a policeman, who responded by macing him. Later onstage, Morrison delivered a tirade about the incident, which rompted police to turn on the house lights, pull Morrison offstage & charge him with breach of peace & resisting arrest.

1968 -- Clouds of radioactive steam from Nevada nuclear test brake through the ground, releasing fallout, violating the limited nuclear test ban treaty signed 5 years earlier. Gods wraith for Los Vegas.

1981 -- Black Philadelphia liberalmedia journalist & commie activist Mumia Abu-Jamal is arrested & charged with the shooting of a Philadelphia policeman.

1984 -- Reagan is asked if there is any news on a Kuwaiti jet hijacked in Iran. He hesitates. Nancy mutters, "Nothing new on Iran, no." The president says, "No."

1986 -- Oliver North says, "I don't think there is another person in America that wants to tell this story as much as I do." Nevertheless, he invokes the fifth amendment when asked to testify on the matter.

1987 -- Nancy Reagan, attempting to refute reports that she and Raisa Gorbachev despise each other, (she labels such reports "silly", though later she writes that Raisa's interminable and condescending lectures on the benefits of Communism were very grating), gives Raisa a tour of the White House. Her guest asks several questions she is unable to answer, such as "When was it built?" Mikhail Gorbachev's decision to stay at the Soviet Embassy has prevented the CIA from surreptitiously collecting a stool sample from him.

1983 -- Yesterday Attorney General Edwin Meese said people go to soup kitchens "...because the food is free & that's easier than paying for it."

Proof: Of the 26 million people served through Second Harvest, the national food banking network:

62% are women (who can just find a new husband) 37% are children under age 18 (Who can become movie stars) 39% of households have at least one adult who is working (but needs to get a real job like investing). Over a third had to choose between food & rent

1987 -- Start of Intifada for Palestinian Independence. Lots of raghead kids toss rocks and get shot, the way Jesus likes it.

1992 -- U.S. Marines wade ashore in Somalia at 2 A.M. (on live evening network television in the U.S.) in "Operation Restore Hope." U.S. forces would retreat in disarray & disgrace within the year. See what happens when you fight for pinkie-dinky obsessions like humanitarianism instead of important things like oil+

1994 -- Surgeon General Joycelyn Elders resigns after her masturbation comments are criticized by jerk offs.

1995 -- US: Four activists are arrested for leafleting, holding a banner & "ruining peoples' day" at the public commissioning ceremony for a new aircraft carrier. Norfolk Naval Base, Virginia.

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