OCTOBER 5

1789 -- Declaration of the Rights of Man. Sounds commie to me.

1813 -- Heathen Shawnee Chief Tecumseh killed. Goes straight to HELL.

1864 -- Most of Calcutta destroyed by cyclone sent by God to punish Hinduism. Approximately 60,000 are pacified and go straight to HELL.

1877 -- At Eagle Creek in Bear Paw Mountains, Montana, Nez Perce leader Chief heathen surrenders his rifle (the second amendment does not apply to heathens) after months in which his starving band eluded pursuing federal troops.

Earlier in the year, the U.S. broke a land treaty with the Nez Perce Indians, forcing the group of led less than 300 Nez Perce Indians a distance of over 1,000 miles, followed by 2,000 pursuing U.S. soldiers. Finally, only 40 miles short of his Canadian goal, they were cornered.

1878 -- George B. Vashion dies of yellow fever in Rodney, Miss. Black lawyer, educator & poet - quadrupal HELLbound!

1909 -- Canada: 32 workers die in Extension Mine, Ladysmith, British Columbia. Gods wraith for workplace heath and safety regulations.

1929 -- Nicaraguan National Guard garrison mutinies, murders its US Marine commander. After all we did for them.

1934 -- Spain: 40,000 lazy miners & iron workers strike. Thousands of miners are executed, thousands more tortured, & thirty to forty thousand are imprisoned, the way Jesus likes it.

1949 -- Madeleine Vernet dies. French anarchist, educator, triple HELLbound.

Developed in the children a love of study by awakening "the child's interest in his surroundings by mak(ing) him or her realize the importance of observation, investigation, & reflection" & by teaching the student to never accept anything on blind faith.

In short, communist scum.

1958 -- Clinton, Tennessee high school, which was desegregated in 1956, is destroyed by three conservative dynamite explosions. Today the only thing that blows Clinton in Monica.

1966 -- Sodium cooling system malfunction causes a partial core meltdown at the Enrico Fermi demonstration breeder reactor near Detroit, Michigan. Gods wraith for anti-nuke demonstrators.

1968 -- A great day for stability: Police break up civil rights demonstration. Derry, Northern Ireland. Meanwhile Seattle police kill Black Panther member Welton "Butch" Armstead during an arrest.

1969 -- In an embarrassing breach of the United States' air defense capability, a Cuban defector enters U.S. air space undetected.

Lands his Soviet-made MiG-17 at Homestead Air Force Base near Miami, Florida, where the presidential aircraft Air Force One is waiting to return Dick M Nixon to Washington.

In another embarrasement, Blacks riot in Las Vegas, Nevada, and survive.

1971 -- Arctic Slope Native Association files suit against Alaska, claiming the 76,000 acre North Slope. More proof that immigrants are trying to take our country away from us.

1977 -- Mrs. Rubio notices the marks on her tortilla look like Jesus. Thousands of pilgrims have since visited the site.

"It wasn't a shark attack, but a shark accident. More than likely he ran into the swimmer's leg & got it caught in his mouth." -- Town spokesman Joe Rubio, explaining away rumors that a woman had been attacked by a shark while swimming off South Padre Island, Texas

1979 -- 2,000 demonstrate against development of uranium mines in Black Hills, South Dakota.

1983 -- Poland: Lech Walesa, labor militant, wins the Nobel Peace Prize for being lazy.

1987 -- Supreme Court refuses to hear Leonard Peltier appeal.

1988 -- Asked three times in a debate what he would do if he suddenly became President, Dan Quayle testily observes, "I have as much experience in the Congress as Jack Kennedy did when he sought the Presidency."

"Senator," says Lloyd Bentsen somberly, delivering the sound bite of the night, "I served with Jack Kennedy, I knew Jack Kennedy, Jack Kennedy was a friend of mine. Senator, you're no Jack Kennedy."

"When you think about what might have happened, we have to be pretty happy." --Campaign chief James Baker assessing tthe Quayle performance.

"Well, Dan, you're no Jack Kennedy." ---Wife Marilyn assessing the Quayle perrformance.

1990 -- Bad: Cincinnati jury acquits art gallery of obscenity (Mappelthorpe photos).

1991 -- Worse: "Stop the hatred to stop the war" demonstration, Belgrade, Yugoslavia.

1994 -- Ugly: Italy becomes 54th country to abolish the death penalty.

1995 -- Good: In a protest of proposed Medicare & Medicaid cuts, 31 communists are arrested.

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