How the precious lives of American pilots can be saved.

A high-level source from the George W Bush (greatest president America has ever had) administration explained why Iraq was bombed, and why "innocent" Iraqi women and children were killed.

"Operations such as the one last night would not be needed if Saddam (Iraqi President Saddam Hussein) stopped attacking us," he said in a statement.

"But as long as he does, I will continue to take the steps necessary to protect our forces and to prevent Saddam from once again wreaking havoc, suffering and death."

He added: "His attacks have become more intensive and systematic. We had to respond in order to reduce the chances of one of his missiles downing an American plane."

Sadly, Bush is too cowardly to take the necessary steps to stop Saddam. Both the UK and the US have nuclear weapons. Why should they not employ the utmost force to keep Saddam from attacking American pilots? Those American pilots are risking their lives, and they should not have to suffer from even the remotest fear that they might be downed or taken prisoner by Iraqis. And what if they crash?

The only sensible approach would be to use nuclear weapons to destroy all Iraqi military bases. The entire Republican Guard could easily be destroyed by a joint US and UK nuclear strike. Five or six nuclear weapons would be sufficient, and if they were properly targeted (by extremely advanced US computer systems which are seldom, if ever, innacurate) a minimum of civilian casualties would result. The one and a half million casualties which have occurred since the Gulf War have, as Madeleine Albright put it, been "worth the cost." If the life of one British pilot could be saved from Saddam Hussein, then a few more million Iraqi lives would be worth it.

Some might object that the use of nuclear weapons is unwarranted. But Saddam "will not stop attacking us." We have a right to protect ourselves. Some might argue that the backlash from the Arab World would be extreme. But the West has been killing Arabs by the hundreds of thousands, if not by the millions, since the beginning of World War Two. And there has not been a serious backlash. Even if there were a threat of retaliation, the US has tens of thousands of nuclear weapons, and the Arabs have none. If the US needs to use them to save the lives of Westerners (especially white Westerners), they will be happy to do so.

If the need arises, US, British, and French nuclear missiles could be used to wipe out the entire Arab population. Other Muslim nations who might take offense at such an action, such as Pakistan, Indonesia, Iran, Turkey, and numerous nations in Africa, could also be exterminated if necessary. After all, Pakistan only has one nuclear weapon, and it does not have the missile technology to reach Britain or the US. We could start by simply bombing medicine factories, as was done in Sudan, and then escalate if needed.

Even if China becomes upset by the policy of putting Arabs and Muslims in line, recall: China has only about 200 nuclear warheads capable of reaching the US. The combined nuclear might of the US and our European allies is over one hundred times that.

Russia knows that the West will not need to attack their territory, because they are white. The Russians remember the lessons of the cold war; if the West and the Slavs disagree, they can fight it out by killing hundreds of thousands of proxies in regions like South East Asia, South America, Black Africa, and other less developed regions.

The goal is clear, and the means to employ is obvious: if the life of one American pilot can be saved by the anihiliation of the total population of the Middle East, then we must not flinch. So listen up Saddam: don't think the lives of millions of innocent civilians can stand between you and Justice.

Libertopia a growing nation

The libertarian nation, a join project of the Church of Christ, Capitalist and Freedom America, has gotten underway with resounding success. Our correspondant reports:

"For a few days things were rough, as talented investors were wasting their skills on menial work, due to the lack of blue collar laborers. Much time was wasted trying to spread the gospel of the free marker the local indians, who arrogantly would take our advice. Eventually one of our contacts in the refugee industry helped us out with a shipload of Chinese magrants. When those first cattle-cars filled with wall-to-wall shivering laborers showed up, we knew Libertopia would be an instant success.

The only threat on the near horizion we can see if a lack of funds to oversee this operation. While taxes are obviously out of the question, we are offering very generous terms to any would-be financiers."

The last moments of the Clinton white house

George W Bush, being a civil uniter, only let watered-down stories of the white house vandalism spread for a mere couple of weeks. He never told us the full truth: the walls smeared with feces, carpets with satanic symbols burned in them, decomposing pieces of Vince Foster in several refridgerators, beds strained from drug-fueled sex orgies, and, of course, the Lincoln bedroom, still literally reeking of its commie Chinese visitors despite endless cleanings and fumigations.

If anyone has an information on what sick deeds occurned during these last moments of the Clinton white house, please inform us right away. We need ANY information, and will pay generously for it. We will take any information. We need the truth, even if it is just a rumor or something you made up. We need to destroy Clinton and her husband to ensure that he will never give Chelsea any ideas.

Bush may be a bisexual

(Editor's Note: This story meets every standard of truth set by NewsMax and is 85% less obscene than the Starr Report.)

Washington - GOP conservatives were astounded today by widespread reports that President George W. Bush is in fact a practicing bisexual.

Congressional insiders say that the offices of Bush backers and Christian conservatives such as Trent Lott and Tom DeLay were in such an uproar, they were incapable of responding to requests for comment.

Sources close to the Bush family, however, were not nearly as shocked by the allegations. "We've suspected for a long time," commented a long-time acquaintance. "Dubya swings both ways, but his real preference is for men. He was thrilled when Laura had twins, because he really didn't want to have sexual relations with her all that often."

Representatives of the gay and lesbian community around Austin, Texas stated that this revelation merely confirmed rumors that have been circulating for years. "We recognized certain behaviors," commented one bisexual politico, who wished to remain anonymous. "That thing he does where he holds up three fingers? People think he's making a ‘W,' but he's actually signaling to his network of playmates that he and Laura are in the mood for a threesome. Kind of like the thing Clinton did with the cigars and ties that Monica gave him, you know, a little secret code he could use right in front of the whole country."

Sources inside the Austin governor's mansion concur. "Laura's got quite an appetite sexually, but Dubya just isn't interested. So they share a man between them, and that seems to suit everyone just fine." Bush's sexual preferences undoubtedly harken back to his days at Andover and Yale. Early rejection by women has been suggested by friends from his college days, who openly declared during the campaign that when it came to girls Bush was "no Romeo." Failing to find release for his sexual impulses with women, say experts in human sexuality, may have pushed him into the beds of his male classmates. Such homosexual activity is hardly frowned upon in liberal educational institutions, especially those which historically have had an all-male student body.

Comments from a co-ed who attended Yale support this theory. "Anyone who's attended an Ivy League school has known guys like that. Lots of cash to throw around, but basically an obnoxious, loud-mouthed drunk. It's easy to keep an entourage around you as long as the liquor and drugs are flowing, but there are no real friendships there. And if you're talking about women, forget it."

Bush also pledged allegiance to the highly secretive "Skull and Bones Society," an exclusive organization of male students founded by Dubya's paternal grandfather, Prescott Bush. The name "Skull and Bones" purportedly refers to the human remains exhumed by Prescott Bush and kept in the society's clubhouse. For decades members asserted that these were in fact the remains of famous Native American hero Geronimo, but recent investigations have disproved this claim. Although members are sworn to secrecy, some details of the society have leaked out over the years. "‘Skull' and ‘bones' are both gay slang," reports one Yale alumnus. "‘Skull' is short for ‘skull job,' which is oral sex, fellatio. And ‘bone' is an erection, but I bet most people could figure that one out."

Bush's sexual preference may have become more pronounced during his stint with the Texas Air National Guard, a renowned hotbed of homosexual activity during the 1970's. Former airmen tell lurid tales of extended trips across the border into Mexico, where nightclubs featuring transvestite and transsexual "companions" are common. "Some of the fellas were damn pretty, especially when ya got enough tequila in ya," commented one veteran of the Guard. "Swear to God, you wouldn'ta known they was guys until you got the dress off ‘em. ‘Chicks with dicks' was what we called ‘em."

Bush seems to have actively pursued a life in which he would be surrounded at all times by men. The Texas oil industry, for instance, remains an impenetrable enclave dominated entirely by males. And for someone of Bush's alleged sexual bent, one can hardly imagine a more attractive environment than a professional men's sports team. Indeed, Bush was notorious for his overt friendliness and physicality with the Texas Rangers baseball team, frequently taking advantage of his access to the locker room before and after games. Many players joked that Dubya was just what the team needed, "another switch hitter."

At some point in his dissipated early adulthood, family members may have pressured Bush into concealing his true nature beneath a veneer of conventionality. Unlike Vice President Dick Cheney's daughter, Mary (an unapologetic lesbian), perhaps Bush understood the damage that his lifestyle might cause. Although he showed no interest at all in a public or political life until age 40 (by which time he would have been solidly gay), openly expressing his sexuality had the potential to derail the political ambitions of his father, as well as his brother, Jeb. This may explain his marriage and fathering of twin daughters, Barbara and Jenna Bush.

Certainly this arrangement, which might rightly be called a "marriage of convenience," has served Bush well as his own political career has taken shape. Pundits argue over the willingness of the American electorate to accept a woman president, a Jewish vice-president, or a person of color in the White House. But all agree that a homosexual or bisexual president is "off the radar."

How these recent revelations will affect Bush's ability to govern is unknown. Gay rights activists have already suggested that Bush's stand on gays and lesbians has been markedly ambiguous. Some imply that any stands taken by Bush that appear anti-gay are simply attempts to publicly distance himself from the lifestyle that he lives in private.

Meanwhile, reporters are camped out at the offices of Republican senators and Bush cabinet officials, waiting to hear who will be the first to respond to the allegations. Thus far, all requests for a comment on President Bush's sexual preferences have been ignored by Bush's press secretary, Ari Fleischer.

Letter from a friend

When General Dwight D. Eisenhower met on the evening of June 5th with his command staff, they faced this historic decision: to attack Hitler the next day in bad weather across the English Channel, or to postpone the D-Day invasion and risk a breach in security that could cost them the war. They decided to attack! On June 6th, the American forces stormed the beaches of Normandy and the victory was won.

The election of President Bush brings the Bible-believing community to D-Day! The war is not over...IT'S ONLY THE BEGINNING. This is not the end of the struggle. Why? As I write this article (December 14, 2000), President-elect George W Bush is surrounded by powerful political forces demanding that he "go slow", that he has to become more liberal, that he should stay away from divisive issues, that he has to "share power".

Wrong! These political parasites are merely trying to stay in power. Their objective is clear. They want to "win" by convincing Mr. Bush that he "lost", that he has a nation so hopelessly divided he has no basis to govern. If, four years from now, abortion remains the law of the land and Supreme Court vacancies have been filled with more liberal judges, than our celebration is in vain. If the Clinton Executive Orders are not repealed and our military is not rebuilt, then this election will have amounted to exactly nothing.

If we cannot return the Ten Commandments to public schools and overturn Roe vs Wade, the opportunity will be missed forever. A major battlefront for the soul of this nation is the Supreme Court. Two judges have been talking about retiring and now the Wall Street Journal confirms that Justice Sandra Day O'Connor wants to retire. President Bush has the opportunity to change the course of history... but only if he rejects the liberals' demand for "shared power."

Replacing Justice O'Connor with a justice like Scalia would shift the Court dramatically in our direction. But, if President Bush listens to timid counselors and sends a "centrist" (Washington's label for a closet liberal) to avoid a fight with Hillary Clinton in the Senate, it will be giving the victory to the enemies of family values.

With two conservative Justices added to the Supreme Court, think about waking up one morning and reading the headline that the Supreme Court overturned abortion 5-4... or that voluntary prayer has been returned to public schools 5-4... or that the Ten Commandments have been returned to public schools 5-4... or that Roe vs. Wade has been defeated 5-4. It is within our grasp. We must seize the day! Partners here's how we can turn the course of history! I want you to fill out the following petition to President George W. Bush. I want him to hear from YOU! I will personally carry your petition to Congress to present it on national television. I encourage you to photocopy the petition and pass it out to your friends and family who will join us in this battle to Take America Back. I need 12,000 new Salt Covenant Partners to join with John Hagee Ministries to "fight the good fight" for the soul of our nation.

This is a cultural war. There will be a winner and there will be a loser. To the winner goes the prize of our children and grandchildren. I need your Help! This is not my fight... this is OUR fight. I must have your financial help in this great final push for victory. To those of you who are Partners, I ask that you re-commit to your pledge and that you send a very special one time offering for this national crusade. I know some of you are asking yourself, "Will this make a difference?"

Let me assure you I know President George Bush personally. I have eaten with him several times in the Governor's Mansion to discuss faith-based issues. He is a man of moral conviction and will not turn a deaf ear to the outcry of American citizens. Together we can do the impossible. Let us not be weak, compromising, and cowardly. Let us be what the righteous are intended to be... bold as a lion. May I hear from you TODAY? Don't delay your response. I want to keep you from eternal damnation but for that you need your money. I want the President to know of your support and concern for the nation. Send all of your money! Make your commitment to become a Salt Covenant Partner, to renew as an existing Salt Covenant Partner, and/or to give your special one-time offering TODAY. God bless you, Partners! Sincerely, Pastor John Hagee Senior Pastor.

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