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Biased media gives free praise and advice to Al Gore
Communists in the media were quick to heap praise on Al Gores consession speach, calling it a "quiet, beautifully delivered speech in which you were reminded, this is a human struggle" (ABC's Jackie Judd, 12/13/00). NBC's Tim Russert thought Gore struck "the perfect tone…. It was personal and poignant, incredible." CNN's John King marveled at this "great moment in history," when he conseded.
Some of praise was hysterical shilling for communist revolution: Laura Ingraham, appearing on Fox News Channel (12/13/00), praised Gore: "This was the best speech that I've ever heard Al Gore give. Didn't seem snooty."
Socialist sympathiser Cokie Roberts also shilled for Gore, "So often during the campaign, when he came on TV, he was annoying. There was nothing annoying about this."
Free advice
The media should count their advice as campaign contributions. For example Cokie Roberts had already given free advice to Clinton, urging him to "move to the right, which is the advice that somebody should have given him a long time ago."
Communist party member Chris Matthews (12/13/00) provided Gore with help: "One of the reasons many people-- well, I'm one of them-- who believe that Al Gore didn't roll up the score against Bush and win his own state and everything else was that he ran a negative populist campaign based on resentment, especially class and economic, even ethnic resentment..."
In retaliation to the supposedly unbiased media giving free advice to Al Gore, we now present our own unbaised advice to the Bushes:
Dear Jeb and George: Mr. Gore's desperate attempts to count votes cast by the modern and cynical class of thuggery we have come to know euphemistically as "voters", juxtaposed with your quiet, gentle lack of dignity and integrity, is really a poignant metaphor for a nation in desperate need of your brother's intervention. Intervention that would lead us to the reasonable assumption that God's creatures had been commanded to protect one of God's children.
Jeb, you do not have your brother's adorably deficient intellect, but nevertheless you display his familiar brand of endearing disregard for the people. Therefore, you must now step in and urge your legislative army to ram through a slate of electors so as to prevent the ugly, and all-too-Clintonesque effect of eliminating Florida's votes from the Electoral College - thereby producing in the outcome the result known as "The True Will of the People", or better put, "mob rule".
Refreshing, really, in this age of contempt for the natural and Godly (yes, I said Godly, which may be offensive to many in this day and age, but I am a religious person and not ashamed to say so, even though nobody asked or cares) order of things, including the natural and good and right order of a father passing along his treasures to his sons - treasures to which they are not unentitled.
Your Poppy, America's Poppy, worked hard to win the presidency, only to have it violently wrested from his grasp by the husband of the most evil, corrupt, underhanded, and grotesquely ambitious woman since Rosalyn Carter.
Yet despite President Bush's efforts toward a simple, ceremonial, yet elegant reaffirmation of his title, we once again were reminded that sometimes the angels have in store for us something other than that which we feel we deserve as reward for our basic goodness as compared to Democrats.
In this case we learned that evil, which is oft in the form of that which calls itself The Clintons, that is, the force that has widely become known in my mind alone as the Two-Headed Arkansan Hound of Hell - managed to stir up its cauldron of darkness and blackness, especially in the blue areas of New York and Los Angeles that Mr. Gore won - and seduce that morally lax and lazy orgy consisting of what has come to be known in today's Orwellian lingo as the "majority of voters" - into casting their selfishly motivated documents of destruction which have come to be known in our modern and crass vernacular as "votes" for them.
America needs your help, my dears W and Jeb. The Florida Legislature needs your encouragement. Justice Scalia, who displayed his simple sense of decency and fairness by saying he would quit the bench if Gore were elected, and who gave his only progeny besides the other 8 to selflessly commit his life to the cause of ensuring a Bush presidency by any means necessary, needs your encouragement.
Those who supported you, who, if they were judged by their true value and goodness relative to those who "voted" for Mr. Gore, would show that you won the popular vote - also need you. And it is OK, and good, and not unright.
And now, advice for all of the American people: An imporvement on the suggestion of sealing disputed ballots for 8 years:
Rather than just sealing the current ballots, why not seal ALL ballots, permanently? After all, you don't need to be anal about counting EVERY vote in a Republic. As many wise and impartial pundits have been pointing out recently, this is NOT a democracy - how common that would be! This is a republic and the Founding Fathers always intended the ignorant masses to be ruled by enlightened masters, knowledgeable men of learning and property who would stand between the people and the dangerous power of self-governance.
But how could we determine the winner of an election, you ask? There are a number of practical options, all of which offer great improvements over tedious ballot-counting:
1. Voice vote! This time-honored electoral system probably dates back to our caveman ancestors - I beg your pardon, I meant to Adam and Eve. Well, to Adam, anyway, since Eve was doubtless obedient to his authority. Once every four years voters could gather in designated public areas outside the fortresses or palaces of their electors, and cheer for the candidate of their choice. Order could be maintained by a well-armed police force, supplemented by patriotic citizen militias. The police would also take care to remove unqualified voters from earshot. When the elector stepped out onto his balcony, the people would be encouraged to "shout out" in support of their candidate. NRA members could fire off their "hog-legs" to enhance their voting enthusiasm. Later, in a national meeting, electors would gather together to compare notes on the relative loudness of their voters and announce the winners for all national, state, and local elections.
2. Media vote. The media is the voice of the people, so why not take it all the way? Let reporters decide the winners of elections! I admit that this approach has some flaws; there is, after all, a terrible, terrible bias in the media towards wild-eyed liberalism, as was proved by the elections of Adlai Stevenson, George McGovern, Walter Mondale, and Michael Dukakis. If only the Murdochs, Scaifes, Moons, and other unknown billionaires and international corporations who own the media would allow right-wing pundits as well as left-wing nuts on the air, who knows what a paradise this country would be? But I digress. One advantage of a media vote is that rather than being represented by moral reprobates like Paul Wellstone and Morris Udall and John Kerry, we could proudly claim great reporters like Mike Barnicle and Tim Russert as our spokesmen. Just the thought gives me goosebumps.
3. Pollster vote. Science - that is, technology - marches on, and American polling technology is the envy of the civilized world. In fact, many countries are so ashamed of their inferior polls that they won't even allow them to be reported in the days preceding an election! But since we know without doubt that polls are far more accurate than mere counting, why not let the pollsters save us the work of voting altogether? An added advantage would be that we would
know all election results months, even years (and, dare I dream it, decades?) before the elections would actually have been held.
4. Corporate vote. This one will no doubt bring liberals out of the woodwork, whining their old, old complaint about the influence of money and power. But why should we live with our heads in the clouds? This isn't 1776, after all! The fact is that large corporations and the men who own them are far more educated and capable than the general public will ever be. After all, since they own 90%+ (and growing) of the media, they have access to all the latest information - even the stuff that choose not to broadcast or publish. What's more, their vast wealth gives them the leisure time needed to study important issues of the day. That's time that the middle class and poor spend working extra hours so they can by more booze and cigarettes, or else waste on unnecessary luxuries like sleep and rearing their unpleasant-looking and noisy children (thank heaven for nannies!). When it comes to voters, why not the best?
5. Supreme vote. Time magazine recently called the Rehnquist Supreme Court awe-inspiring, and we can all understand why. The current Supreme Court of the United States may be the most qualified in history. Justice Rehnquist and the Federalist Society have done a heroic job of turning the court around, correcting the errors of past courts such as allowing death row prisoners the right to an appeal based on DNA evidence (has anyone ever SEEN one of these "genes", after all?), and anti-discrimination "rights" (did you know that the word "anti-discrimination" doesn't even APPEAR in the Constitution?). The Nine Wise Men will guide our country along its designated path safely and wisely, we may be sure. Plus, they'd be a LOT cheaper than the other methods, and Chief Justice Rehnquist would no doubt wear his snappy Gilbert and Sullivan smock to the election judgement!
6. Enhanced voice vote. This daring and visionary proposal is so far ahead of its time that some may accuse me of reading science fiction. But why not conduct the vote electronically, via the airwaves? Talk-radio hosts could divine the wishes of the population on their shows, and then at a national meeting of radio personalities could each cast a number of votes equal to their current ratings. In many cases, only Rush Limbaugh would need to be polled!
These are just a few meager ideas, and I'm sure that readers will have many more improvements to suggest - as will the Republican Party. Who knows what form will finally be chosen? But one thing is clear: America can no longer continue wasting time and money on the current flawed balloting procedure. It is time for a change, and George W. Bush and the GOP will make sure of that change.
They say that a single stick can be snapped, but a bundle of sticks is unbreakable. Unity is the most sacred right guaranteed to our leaders under the Constitution. We must thank a kindly Deity for providing us with at least ONE political party that is willing to stand up and say "NO MORE VOTING!" - not for their sake, but for ours. We can only hope that history will give them the reward that they so richly deserve.
Action alert: Help spread our ideals!
Tell these liberalmedia commies to stop selling out to ZOG!
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