You will be alone always and then you will die
Richard Siken


"Would anyone notice if I died?"

Gabriel sets down his book. Kira continues typing. "Of course."

I study the screen in front of me, black font on a red background. "And would they care?"

"What brought this up?" he asks, coming to stand behind me.

I shrug, clicking the window closed. "Nothing. Internet personality thing."

His hands rest on my shoulders, fingers rubbing in tiny circles. Kira is still working, sitting at the kitchen table, folders filled with brightly coloured papers spread out around her. I watch her over my shoulder, the light from the flickering bulb hanging overhead reflecting off her earrings and bouncing tiny flashes of silver around the room. Gabriel kisses his way down my neck, fingers moving from my shoulders into my hair.

"We would care if you died," he says, because Kira hasn't. I close my eyes and paint an exact replica of the room on the back of my eyelids. Kira kneels in front of me, hands resting on my knees. Gabriel's arms come around me from behind and his fingertips meet Kira's, making me the centre of their circle, the link in the chain that holds them together.

I open my eyes. Kira flips a page and pecks at the keyboard. Gabriel's kisses progress up to my ear and then he is merely breathing against my skin, hands tightly wound in my hair and I can barely move my head.

"There would be a funeral, and I'd leave black roses on your grave," he whispers.

"Romantic," I say automatically, letting myself go limp in the garage-sale chair. Kira glances up and our eyes meet.

"You're not going to die."

I grin, slightly. "That's entirely up to Gabe." I feel his retreat before he takes the physical steps.

"That's not funny."

Kira sighs. "Children--"

Gabe picks up his book, sprawling out on the carpet. "I would never condemn you to vampirism."

Kira frowns. "Is that a word?"

I ignore her. "You won't have to die and it's going to be the most unobtrusive thing I've ever done. I'll probably just disappear." I laugh a little to lighten my words. "The aliens, you know, they're terrible this time of year."

"Have you taken your meds today?" Kira asks. I get up, close my laptop and walk out of the room.



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