When Farin woke he knew what day it was.  It was Friday.  He knew what time it was.  It was 8 am.  He knew what month it was.  It was February.  None of this came as very much of a surprise to Farin.  What did come as somewhat of a surprise was that Farin knew everything.  All of existence was unrolled in Farin's brain like some great scroll of wisdom spanning miles without end.  All that was, is, and ever would be exploded into Farin's brain like a Chinese firecracker.  And so to say that this was a surprise is actually incorrect.  For you see, when you know everything, nothing comes as much of a surprise.  Sitting up in bed, Farin paused to take in his omniscience.  After staring blankly into space for a few moments, Farin shrugged slightly, gave a small laugh, and rose from his bed.  His room was an abomination.  At least that is what Farin's mother thought, not that he required omniscience to know this.  Dirty clothes were strewn across the room in small piles like sand dunes scattered across an otherwise barren beach.  Posters of various German rock bands lined Farin’s walls, many sagging, a few close to falling off altogether.  Reaching up to straighten one of his Die Ärzte posters, Farin knocked over an already half empty bottle of St. Pauli Girl Beer.  Farin understood that this was supposed to be surprising to him, so he cursed, then bent over and picked up the green bottle.  Farin raised the bottle and found it to still be a quarter full, just as he knew it would be.  Farin took a sip of the warm stale beer, then poured a bit into his hand and rubbed it into his stringy blonde hair, arranging it into limp and unwilling spikes.  Pulling on a relatively clean, black shirt, he made for the door.  He knew that he had to go see his friend Heinrich.  He figured Heinrich would like to know that Farin was going to have to destroy the world in two days.  Besides, it was not as if he had a choice.

     Across town, Heinrich was sleeping soundly in his small, but comfortable bed in his small, but comfortable apartment in downtown Berlin.  Buzzsaw-like snores tore through the otherwise silent apartment. A small pool of drool had amassed on Heinrich's pillow near the corner of his mouth.  Despite this, Heinrich slept the sleep of a hibernating animal, heavy and undisturbed, until, suddenly, he could no longer breathe.  Heinrich awoke in a start, his breath returning with a sudden reduction of pressure from his nose.  Looking wildly around the room he saw Farin sitting in his desk chair, holding up his hand, his thumb sticking up between his index and middle fingers.
 
   "Got your nose," said Farin dryly, a slight smile on his face.
 
    "You bastard..." Heinrich replied groggily, sitting up in his bed.
 
    "You were snoring and drooling in your sleep again," Farin stated plainly, "As wide as your mouth is open while you sleep, its amazing I can wake you up with that little trick."

     "Yeah, yeah...just shut up and throw me that shirt would you?"  Heinrich grumbled, brushing a fluffy mass of his long brown hair out of his face.  Farin tossed a pale green T-shirt to Heinrich.  Reaching under his bed with his left foot, Heinrich pulled out the pair of pants he had worn the night before, and reaching down, pulled them on.  Glancing across the room as he began pulling on his shoes, Heinrich noticed Farin was staring at him.  Farin's eyes had always been his most distinguishing feature.  They were blue...a kind of pale sky blue...in fact they so much resembled the color of the sky they seemed to take on an emptiness to match.  Now, however, Farin's eyes seemed somehow changed.  They seemed darker...and full...of what, Heinrich couldn't even guess, but they were full, full to brimming over.  All he could say with any certainty, was that Farin's eyes were like ice daggers, and it felt like they were cutting straight to his soul.  Heinrich shivered.
 
    "Just what in the hell are you staring at?"  he asked, trying to sound more sarcastic than defensive.
 
    "You're going to ask me why."  Farin's dry monotone hung in the air.
 
    "I just did..."
 
    "No," Farin interrupted, "You're going to ask me why I'm here."

     "Why are you here?" Heinrich demanded, sitting up after he had finished tying his shoes. Farin said nothing for a moment.  His eyes drifted away from Heinrich, towards the open apartment window, something for which Heinrich was deeply grateful.
 
    "We need to talk, Heinrich," said Farin, the words seeming to float out of his mouth with no real effort behind them, "Not here though...outside."

     It was then that Heinrich noticed the nearly empty bottle of beer in Farin's right hand.

     "Wait a minute...have you been drinking?"

     Heinrich rose and began moving towards Farin, whose gaze had not shifted from the window even slightly.  As he drew closer, a familiar odor invaded Heinrich's nostrils.

     "Christ, you smell like a brewery!"

     Farin's gaze shifted back towards Heinrich, once again making him shiver.  There was something incredibly alien in Farin's countenance.  The small smile from when he had first awoken Heinrich had grown into a solid smirk, and appeared almost grotesque, most especially since it shared Farin's face with those piercing eyes.  Suddenly, Farin let out a soft chuckle.
 
    "Yes Heinrich, I have been drinking." he said softly, "but its really not important.  I'll never get drunk again."

     "Ha," Heinrich laughed, feeling the tension lift for a moment, "The drunkards' lament!  How many times have I heard you say that before?"

     "About 38 times actually," Farin interjected matter-of-factly, rising to his feet, "But come, as I said, we need to talk."

     "Ha!" Heinrich laughed again, "You're kidding right?  I'm not going anywhere with you, you lush."

     "Yes you are," Farin said with a slight laugh, "you just don't know it yet."
 
    And with that, Farin opened the door to the small, but comfortable apartment and exited
.
     Heinrich stared at the door that his friend had just passed through.  Something was not normal about Farin.  He wasn't sure if something was wrong, but something was most definitely not normal.  After debating with himself for a few moments, Heinrich pulled on his jacket and went after his friend.

    Heinrich caught up to Farin around the corner from his apartment about 4 blocks away.  Heinrich had to run to catch up with Farin, who was walking at a slow and easy pace down the street whistling and swinging the chain that attached his wallet to his pants.  Panting, Heinrich could barely breathe let alone speak, so Farin got in the first words:

     "I told you you'd come,"  Farin said wryly, "My...you really are in terrible shape."

     "God...damn....you are fast....for a drunk..." Heinrich spoke haltingly, slowly regaining his breath.
 
    "I'm not drunk,"  replied Farin, "I merely said I had been drinking."

    "Whatever," Heinrich spat out, slowly regaining composure, "Just what the hell was that back there?"

    "Hmmm?" Farin muttered, seemingly only half paying attention.

    "That little drama back in my apartment.  What's with this cloak and dagger shit?  Are you in trouble with the cops again?" Heinrich saw a grin spreading across Farin's face and figured he must have hit the nail on the head.  "So that's it, eh?  What're they after you for this time?  Narcotics?  That must be it.  You're high, aren't you?  That certainly explains a lot..."

     "Heinrich, have you ever been to Westerland?" Farin interrupted, a wide grin on his face.
 
    "No...no Farin, I haven't....what has that got to do with any-"
 
    "Would you like to go?  I hear it's very nice there."

    "What?  I don't know! I guess...someday...why?"
 
    Suddenly Heinrich felt as if his stomach was in his brain.  The colors of the surrounding world drained from his eyes and all was blackness.  He wanted to scream but he realized he no longer had a mouth.  For what seemed an eternity, Heinrich felt himself as a billion pieces scattered across the world, like dandelion seeds blown carelessly into the wind.  And then he was whole again.  Colors returned to the world.  A long white beach stretched out in front of him. To his left a sea roiled with crashing waves, as far off on the horizon,  the setting sun cast a pallid orange haze against billowing white clouds.  To Heinrich, this natural beauty meant very little, as supreme and absolute panic had taken hold of him.  His head darted back and forth, his muscles tensed to the point of strain, and his body contorted into an animalistic hunch.

     "Heinrich,"  spoke a familiar voice, and Heinrich felt a hand on his shoulder.  Heinrich whirled savagely, attempting to strike the speaker.  His hands met only air, his eyes settled on the familiar visage of Farin.  Heinrich felt his panic subside slightly at the sight of his friend.

    "Heinrich," Farin spoke again, "Be calm.  I am sorry that was so disorienting.  I have yet to master instantaneous transportation.  But take heart, my friend, for though it took the better part of a day, we have arrived!"

    Though calming, Heinrich was not truly listening.

    "What the hell just happened Farin?!?  Where...where the hell are we?!?!"
 
    Heinrich's breaths were coming in short spurts
 
    "Be calm Heinrich...you are hyperventilating,"  Farin said softly, moving close to his friend and putting his right arm around his heaving shoulders.  Farin gestured widely with his left arm towards the sea.

    "Behold, the mighty North Sea!" Farin proclaimed proudly, "We are on the beaches of Westerland!"

    Heinrich swallowed down a lump in his throat and forced himself to ask, "How did we get...to Westerland...Farin?"

    Farin removed his arm and moved to stand in front of his friend.  His expression was one of supreme amusement, and at the same time supreme weariness.

    "That is what I wanted to talk to you about, Heinrich.  You see, this morning I discovered something very interesting.  I am...well...how can I say this...I am omniscient and omnipotent."

    Heinrich looked perplexed, "What...what does that mean, Farin?"

    Farin replied almost sheepishly, "Well, basically it means I am all knowing and all powerful."

   Heinrich stared blankly at his friend for a moment, taking in what he had just heard.  Slowly but surely, the cynic in Heinrich began to claw his way back from the shell shocked recesses of Heinrich's brain.  Rage began to build in the pit of Heinrich's stomach.  Slowly, like bile, it crawled up through his esophagus and vomited out of his mouth.

   "You fucking bastard!  I cannot believe this! You fucking psychotic bastard!  I don't know what the hell kind of psychedelic drug shit you used on me, but this is too far!  You fucking bastard!  I am leaving!  And I am calling the cops and I hope they drag your psychotic ass off to prison!  Fucking bastard!!"

    Farin stood silently through the tirade, as if it wasn't even remotely unexpected, as if he had heard it all before.  Heinrich, his body a characature of rage, began stomping off down the beach.

    "Heinrich, you're not leaving," Farin spoke calmly, and softly.

    "Just try and stop me you bastard!" Heinrich shouted, storming off down the beach.

    Farin spoke again, this time strongly, clearly, and loud, "Heinrich, you're not leaving because when you were twelve years old you wet the bed, and instead of admitting to it, you went and got the family dog to sleep with you and blamed it on him in the morning.  You are not leaving because you masturbate 3 times a day at 9 p.m., 11pm, and 1am.  And Heinrich you are not leaving because on her deathbed your mother swore you to secrecy about the fact that she had an affair with a police constable who was a drinking friend of your fathers.  Heinrich, you are not leaving because you can't."

    Heinrich stopped dead in his tracks.  Slowly, he turned towards Farin and began walking up to him until the two men stood nose to nose.

    "How...do you...know...these...things?" Heinrich demanded, burying a thousand knives in every word.

     "I told you," Farin replied, showing no signs of emotion, "I'm omniscient.  I know everything.  About you, about your mother, about your father, about every man, woman, child, animal, and insect in Berlin, Westerland, the world, the universe. "

    Heinrich stared hard and deep into the eyes of his friend.  Searching those icy blue abysses for a hint of a joke, however cruel...twisted...psychotic, felt like drowning.  For no matter how deep Heinrich looked, he could find nothing.  Not a hint of falsehood.  Nothing was hidden in those eyes.  But Heinrich wouldn’t...couldn’t...accept it.  Because if he did, well...it simply meant the impossible.  Then, suddenly, a thought crept into Heinrich’s brain, and a smug smirk crept onto his face.

    "Alright Farin...let’s see how all knowing and all powerful you are." Heinrich said, stepping back from his friend.  Then, without warning, Heinrich swung savagely, his fist crashing like a train wreck into Farin’s face.  Farin crumpled to the ground without a sound.  A large red mark was impressed upon his cheek, and blood trickled from the corner of his mouth.  Despite this, Farin’s expression had not changed.  It remained passive, seemingly implacable.  Farin said not a word as he slowly worked his way back to his feet.  Heinrich merely laughed.

    "All powerful my ass!" Heinrich proclaimed mockingly, "What’s wrong Mr. Know-it-All...didn’t see that one coming?"

    "Actually," Farin replied, "I did.  But it had to happen.  Don’t worry, you will understand it all soon enough."

    "Whatever you say ‘Mr. Know-it-All’, " Heinrich replied, "You are so full of shi..."

    Heinrich stopped short, as before his eyes, the large red welt on Farin’s cheek speedily disappeared.  The blood dripping out of Farin’s mouth began to move back into his mouth, as if being rewound like a videotape.  Heinrich’s anger and disbelief began to fade, replaced instead with confusion and desperation.

    "Farin...?" an almost pathetic, pleading tone had crept into Heinrich’s voice, "What...what is going on?  Please...be honest...did you drug me?  Am I hallucinating?"

    "Heinrich," Farin replied, trying to sound reassuring, "I did not drug you.  You need to trust me, Heinrich, and I know you will, soon enough.  I really have become all powerful and all knowing."

    "But, Farin," said Heinrich, "What about before?  When I hit you?  Didn’t you know I was going to do it?"

    "Yes," answered Farin plainly.

    "Well why didn’t you stop me?" Heinrich prodded, still incredulous.

    "I couldn’t," Farin replied, "It..."

    "Wait," Heinrich interrupted, "What happened to being all powerful then?  You’re telling me you’re supposed to be all powerful and you can’t stop a simple sucker punch?"

    Farin didn’t answer immediately.  Instead he turned away from his friend, walking down towards the lapping sea.  Farin reached down into the wet sand and scooped up a handful of the mud, then returned face his friend.

    "Well?" asked Heinrich impatiently.

    "Heinrich," Farin began, "Do you remember that philosophy class we took at University?"

    "Yes..." Heinrich answered, "Vaguely..."

    "Do you remember anything about determinism?" Farin inquired, rolling the wet sand in his hand into a ball.

   "No," Heinrich responded, his brow furrowed, "Not entirely anyway...I’m sorry..."

    "It’s alright, Heinrich," Farin said, still rolling and packing the mudball, "I’ll explain.  Essentially determinism states that all actions since the beginning of time have been, and will continue to be predetermined.  This predetermination comes from the Big Bang."

    "Wait," Heinrich interposed, "So you’re saying everything in the universe is already set in stone?  What about free will?  What about God?  And what does the Big Bang have to do with anything?"

    "I’ll explain," Farin replied with a slight laugh, "Although this really should show you that it didn’t pay to sleep through all those classes my friend.  Anyway, part of understanding determinism lies in understanding that at our most basic we are merely an assemblage of particles of matter moving through space.  Now, as for the Big Bang..."

    Farin held up the dirt ball, which was now perfectly round, and densely packed.  Heinrich watched in astonishment as Farin dropped his hands to his sides and the ball continued float, suspended in air.  In his surprise, Heinrich almost forgot to listen as Farin began speaking again.

    "At the beginning of time, all matter was focused in a central point.  Then there was a massive explosion, The Big Bang."

    Suddenly, the sandball seemed to erupt from inside, but in total slow motion.  Heinrich watched, absorbed in the spectacle.  Particles of sand began moving in every direction very slowly, some as large chunks, others as single grains, and every size grouping in between.

    "So all matter was blasted in specific trajectories in all directions. It’s the first event in a potentially endless chain reaction that is the universe.  And since all events flow from previous events by physics, all events from the beginning of the universe till its end are predetermined.  We are merely particles in space moving in a trajectory determined long ago.  It’s a mind boggling concept, I know."

    Heinrich took in all he had heard, processing it slowly.  It seemed like too much.  And on top of its complexity, he hated it.  He hated the very notion that he had no control over his own life, that there was no God, that he was, as Farin had said, merely "particles in space."  But it made sense.  Twisted, awful sense.  Heinrich wanted to scream.  He felt like his head would explode.  It was insane, he decided.  Impossible.

    "Farin," he began, "This is insane.  It’s philosophy...not fact.  I can’t believe there is no free will.  I can do whatever I want.  If I want to put my hand on my head I can."

    And just to prove this, Heinrich placed his hand on his head.

    "And you’re supposed to be all powerful," he continued, "How can you be all powerful if you don’t actually have the power to do anything you want to, huh?  Explain that!"

    A smug grin appeared on Heinrich’s face, and he felt satisfied that he had sufficiently shot down Farin’s ridiculous theory.

    "Heinrich, your free will is an illusion.  You only perceive yourself as having free will, because you perceive that you have made your own choices.  When in actuality, you have never made a choice that you weren’t predestined to make originally.  Haven’t you ever wondered why sometimes you do one thing and not another?  It is because you had to, Heinrich.  It is because your ‘particles’ had to be in a certain place, at a certain time.  It’s terribly complex, but beautiful in a way.  And as for my powers...well, there is more to them that I cannot entirely explain now, but suffice it to say that while I have the power to potentially do anything, I can’t really do anything, since I am only able to do what I am predestined to do.  And furthermore, being omniscient, I know everything that I am going to do."

    "Doesn’t that get Goddamn boring then?" Heinrich muttered, digruntledly, slowly realizing the futility of arguing with an omniscient being.

    "Actually," Farin replied, "It’s not really boring.  However, it has led to a considerable sense of detachment.  Which I suppose is a good thing, since I’m going to have to destroy the universe tomorrow night."

    Farin’s words, spoken with no jest, no lightness, nor any real seriousness for that matter, fell on Heinrich like a ton of bricks.

    "Did you just say....you’re going to destroy the universe tomorrow night?!?" Heinrich asked, a twinge of panic in his voice.

    "Actually destroy isn’t really the right word," Farin replied casually, "More like bring it to its end.  But it’s not really important right now.  I’ll explain more to you tomorrow. There is a lot you still don’t know.  For now we should get some rest."

    Farin lay down on the sandy beach and placed his arms behind his head.  Heinrich still stood, mouth agape in shock, unable, or perhaps unwilling to accept what he had just heard.

    "Farin," he said, moving towards his friend, who already seemed to be fast asleep, "Farin you’re kidding, right?  Farin?  Come on, this isn’t funny.  Wake up!"

    Heinrich reached down and shook Farin, but Farin’s eyes remained closed, and he made no signs of waking.  Frustrated, with a fearful pit forming, Heinrich began walking down the beach, away from his friend, when suddenly, he heard Farin’s voice call out.

    "Heinrich," he called, "I am not joking.  But please, just rest for now.  As I said, there is much you still do not understand.  I will try and explain it to you tomorrow.  But for now, please just rest."

    Heinrich stopped walking, and simply looked around him.  The full darkness of night had crept in largely without him even noticing, so wrapped up in the evening’s insanity had he been.  He felt light headed, and was secretly glad to drop down onto the cool, but inviting sand of the beach.  Laying back, he looked up at the stars. It was an exceptionally clear night, and each tiny point of light scattered across the black panorama of the night sky shone brightly and clearly.  His mind wandered back to what Farin had said about the Big Bang, about particles scattered across the universe, and he began to feel there was no difference between him and those myriad of stars strewn across the night sky.  He felt a sort of oneness with all things, a feeling at once calming, and distinctly unnerving.  And it was with these thoughts that Heinrich drifted off to sleep, as the lighted canvas of night was replaced by the pure black canvas of his drooping eyelids.

    Heinrich slept hard and sound as usual, even in the unfamiliar surroundings.  When he woke he could see that the sun was already high in the sky.  Rubbing the sleep from his eyes, he began searching the beach for Farin.  He spotted his friend down by the waterline.  Standing, he could see that Farin was testing his new powers.  Waterspouts shot out of the ground around Farin and began moving in circles around him, like some kind of bizarre may pole dance.  Then, slowly they died back down into the earth, leaving no sign of their passing, as the beach and the ocean performed their usual conspiratorial destruction of evidence.  Despite what he had seen the night before, Heinrich was still amazed at the sight of the water spouts.  To be frank, he had hoped that upon waking he would have found the previous night’s events had all been some mad nightmare, or at worst, a bad trip.  But Farin’s demonstration served as a sobering reminder that, in fact, the previous night had happened, and worse, if Farin spoke the truth, the world was going to end that evening.

     Apparently, Farin had taken notice of Heinrich and was moving back up the beach towards him.  Heinrich couldn’t help but feel like he was looking at a stranger, as he watched Farin draw closer.  Despite his outward appearance, and his friendly demeanor, Farin was different now, no longer the flakey punk rocker that barely knew his address, let alone the secrets of the universe.  Omniscience will do that to you, Heinrich supposed.

    "You know," said Farin jovially as he reached Heinrich, "If I wasn’t already predestined to end the universe tonight, I probably would anyway, just so I wouldn’t have to hear your snoring again."

    "Very funny," Heinrich replied, trying to sound comfortable.  In all honesty, however, he was more than a little unnerved by Farin’s cavalier attitude towards the impending doom of the cosmos.

    "What’s bothering you, my friend?" Farin asked, still smiling and pleasant.

    "Like you don’t already know," Heinrich shot back sarcastically.

    "Humor me, Heinrich," Farin replied, "I would like our conversations to remain as human as possible, if at least for your sake.  I’m sure you wouldn’t like it if I was telling you all your thoughts before you had them."

    Heinrich didn’t even want to think about the implications of what Farin had just said, and instead chose to answer his question, "Look, it’s just that there is something that doesn’t make sense to me.  You said that the universe is governed by determinism, and determinism is grounded in physics.  But your powers...the things you’ve been doing.  They don’t abide by any laws of physics I know.  Hell, you more or less threw physics out the window just by transporting us here."

    The smile faded from Farin’s face as he began his reply, "There is an answer to this.  And it is not one I was looking forward to giving you.  You see, I haven’t been entirely honest with you.  When I said we live in a deterministic universe, I was telling the truth.  However, our universe is bound neither by physics, nor any physical laws whatsoever."

    Heinrich’s brow furrowed into what was becoming a familiar position of confusion, "I don’t understand, Farin.  How can that be?"

    Farin bit his lip, contemplating the best way to put the issue at hand.  Finally he spoke, "Heinrich, you have read novels, correct?"

    "Of course," he replied.

    "And when you start reading a novel, is there any way for the story in the book to change from what is written on the page?  What I mean is that from beginning to end, once the story is already told and set in stone, you are only experiencing it after the fact, correct?" Farin asked this tentatively, as if uncomfortable with where his metaphor was leading.

    "Yes," Heinrich replied, slowly, also beginning to feel somewhat uncomfortable, though why he couldn’t say.

     Farin continued, "Now within a novel, anything is possible, correct?  The wildest fancies can be indulged and no laws or rules of reality or physics need be followed, correct?"

    "Yes..." Heinrich answered, his discomfort increasing.

    "So then, a novel is a essentially a deterministic world in which physical laws do not apply, correct?"  Farin’s demeanor was now completely serious
.
    "Yes..." Heinrich answered hesitantly, "But...I don’t get it, Farin?  Or maybe I do, and if I do, I’m gonna have to think you are crazy again.  Are you trying to say that we’re living inside a novel?"

    "A short story actually," Farin replied dryly, "But essentially, yes."

    Heinrich’s mind reeled. "This is insane!" he screamed, "This is impossible!  I am a physical, thinking, breathing, living human being!!"

    "No," Farin replied, "You are a character, and implicit to your understanding of yourself is the belief that you are a physical, thinking, breathing, living human being.  In actuality, you are lines on a page."

    Heinrich could feel his rage returning.  He began to rave, "Lines on a page? Lines on a fucking page?!?!  I am NOT lines on a page!!  I will not accept my existence as being simply lines on a page!"

    "Heinrich," Farin said softly, reaching out to his friend, "You don’t have to accept your existence as lines on a page!  Within the confines of this world, we are as real as the author is in his world.  We have thoughts, feelings, actions, words, but our world is deterministic.  These words and feelings and actions may have been chosen for us, but they also flow from us, from who we are as characters.  It doesn’t make us any less real.  We are as real as we can be, and we can only live in the world we are in.  It is best to accept the world for what it is, and live life as it can be lived, rather than rage about living a life we wish was true."

    Heinrich felt his rage twisting, dying, fading into something else.  Grief.  Tears began to well in his eyes.
 
    "Farin..." he sobbed, "It’s not fair.  It’s not right.  I wish you had never told me this.  Our lives are meaningless, Farin!  We are puppets...no worse than puppets, because at least puppets are real.  We are words.  We are nothing!!  Nothing!"
 Heinrich collapsed onto all fours, pounding his fists into the sand, tears flowing freely from his eyes.  His head shook back and forth and, though he was silent, his lips kept mouthing, "Not fair.  Not fair."

    "Heinrich...do you feel like nothing?"  Farin asked.

    "Yes," Heinrich sobbed, "I am nothing..."

    "Liar!" passion came into Farin’s voice for seemingly the first time, "Look at yourself!  You have hands. You have feet.  You think.  You feel.  I ask you again, are you nothing?"

    Heinrich made no reply, but stood, and faced Farin, tears drying on his cheeks.

    "Heinrich," Farin spoke tenderly, "I did not want to upset you, though I knew I would.  We have only a few more hours in this world, and I want you to enjoy them.  Put aside what we have talked of.  There is something I want you to do."

    "What’s that?" Heinrich asked, sniffing and wiping his eyes.

    "You are a virgin, correct?" Farin asked, a twinkle of his old mischievous self in his eyes.

    "Yeah..." Heinrich replied sheepishly, "What of it?!"

    "Well I certainly don’t want you to die a virgin," Farin replied with a smartass grin.

    "Asshole," Heinrich retorted, a slight smile hiding in his face, "What are you getting at?  I’m certainly not gonna have sex with you!  Though I’m sure you’d like it, you weirdo."

    "There is the Heinrich I know," Farin laughed, "Go to this address.  You will find a woman named Elke there.  She will make a man of you."

    Farin handed the paper to Heinrich, who took it skeptically.

    "Farin...uhm...I’ll trust you on this one, but one question?" he asked.

    "Yes?"

    "Is she..." Heinrich began, "er...clean?"

    Farin burst out laughing, "Does it matter?!?"

    "Yes!" Heinrich replied indignantly, "I want to face the end of the universe as a healthy man!"

    "She is clean!" Farin smiled, shoving his friend from behind, "Now get going!  Don’t worry, you will know the way intuitively, and she will be more than happy to have you."

    Heinrich started up the beach, then glanced back towards his friend.

    "Farin!" he called out, "Will I see you again?  You know...before the end?"

    "Most definitely, my friend," Farin called back, "But hurry!  Elke will not wait forever!"

    Heinrich turned and continued up the beach, the sound of Farin’s laughter ringing in the distance.

    Heinrich found the dwelling of Elke, though not quite as instinctively as Farin had suggested.  Still, he thought, it hadn’t taken nearly as long as it should have to find the residence of a total stranger in a place he’d never been before.  Glancing down at his watch, Heinrich saw that it was just about 6 p.m.  He looked up at the door in front of him, and took a deep breath.  Summoning up his courage, he knocked.  Almost immediately, the door flew open, and a beefy arm pulled Heinrich inside.  It was then that Heinrich got his first look at Elke.  Elke was quite a woman...quite a large woman.  She was beautiful in her own way, Heinrich thought, but certainly not the object of most men’s fantasies.  Still, Heinrich had always had an appreciation for women of...girth.

    "Are you Heinrich?" Elke asked coyly.

    "Why yes, how did you...GAH!" Heinrich had begun to reply when Elke grabbed him by the arm and forcefully dragged him into the bedroom.

    It would be fair to say the action got hot and heavy from this point, and while Heinrich was still somewhat reluctant and downright demure, Elke was certainly hot and heavy enough for the both of them.  Still, despite the passion, as Heinrich prepared to bring an end his virginity, he couldn’t quite get the image out of his mind of a piece of paper with writing on it that read, "And then Heinrich mounted the prodigious Elke and thrusted to his heart’s content."

    It was drawing close to midnight when Heinrich made his way back to the beach.  He found Farin standing just where he had left him.  Farin seemed to be concentrating, quite understandable when one is unraveling a universe.   Heinrich walked down the beach and stood next to his friend.

    "So," said Farin, "Feeling better, my friend?"

     "I think so," replied Heinrich.

    "Heinrich," Farin began, "do you feel like you learned anything from all this?"

    "Does it matter?" Heinrich shot back with a smirk.

    Farin laughed, and smiled, "No...I suppose not."

     "So how long do we have left?" Heinrich asked dryly, as he looked up watching the stars disappear from the sky one by one.

    "Oh I’d say about 3 lines," Farin replied as he continued to unravel the sky like a cheap sweater.

    "Oh," Heinrich replied watching the universe closing in on them. "Well it was nice knowing you Farin."

    "Same to you, Heinrich.  Same to you." Farin said as he pulled the last bits of the universe apart, and shredded all the loose ends.