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THE OFFICIAL HOMEPAGE
OF

THE DRUNKEST BASS PLAYER
IN THE BEST FREE BAND IN
NORTHWEST OHIO

HOW TO BE MORE
LIKE ME

1. IF YOU THINK YOU`VE HAD TOO MUCH TO DRINK,
ITS NOT ENOUGH.
2. NEVER HAVE ANY DOUBT ABOUT WEARING AN UNUSUAL HAT.
3. YOUR FRIENDS MUST OBTAIN STANDARDS SUCH AS YOURS
4. FRIENDS MUST HAVE NICKNAMES.
5. LEARN TO PLAY GUITAR, IF AT ALL POSSIBLE, THIS WILL HELP ACHIEVE YOUR GOAL OF GETTING CHICKS.
6. ENJOY YOUR MISFORTUNE AS OTHERS ENJOY THEM AROUND YOU.
7. ALWAYS THROW FURNITURE ON THE FIRE, NO MATTER THE CONSEQUENCES.
8. NEVER ASSUME THE STAIRS ARE THAT CLOSE.
9. OPIUM IS OUR PAL.
10. FIND OUT AS MUCH AS YOU CAN ABOUT THE DEADLY DISEASE OF ALCOHOLISM.
11. YOU MUST WEAR A DIRTY BASEBALL HAT ON BACKWARDS AT THE TITTY BAR.
12. ALWAYS REMEMBER, FAT CHICKS NEED LOVE TOO.
13. BE KIND TO ANIMALS, LUBRICATE THEM FIRST.
14. NEVER WEAR A WATCH.
15. ONE SHOT NEVER HURTS.
16. HAVE A LONG GUITAR CORD WHEN PLAYING DURING A TITTY SHOW.
17. YOU CAN`T PLEASE EVERYONE SO YA GOTSTA PLEASE YOURSELF.
18. DON`T BE AFRAID OF MAKING AN ASS OF YOURSELF AT KARAOKE.
19. REVEL IN THE SOUNDS OF YOUR OWN FLATULENCE.
20. ALWAYS CARRY A SPARE!!!

LADYEARTH WEBPAGE