More Verbal Diarrhea from the ever-changing roster of the
"Razing Arizona" Posse
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Bob: "I was born the year Kennedy was shot..."
Matt: "Yeah...Ezekiel Kennedy, the Grave Digger...1832."
Cassie: "Wait...I can't tell if that's sarcasm." (to Darrin)
Bob: "I'll put him back together with skin glue..."
Posse: "...SKIN GLUE?!"
Bob: "Welcome to the club...ya wanna see mine?" (collective groan from Posse)
Darrin: "C'mon, Bessie! The moron is taking the bomb!"
Cassie: "So...did he fix everything and save the building?"
Matt: (chuckles) "No."
Cassie: "What a surprise."
Rick: "Argh! Argh! Argh! I can't feel my legs! I can't feel my...oh...that's them over there..."
Randy: "He's just gonna use my head as a battery!"
Cassie: "No he's not...he's a priest!"
Jesse: "Well, I might...you never know."
Town Sheriff: "OK everybody...assholes and elbows...let's move!"
Darrin: "Why is he calling everybody an asshole?"
Rick: "Probably 'cause they're all related to you."
Rick: "Shut up before I introduce your guitar to your asshole."
Bob: "Do not threaten Patricia (the guitar) like that!"
Rick: "I was threatening you...the guitar will probably survive the encounter."
Rick: "Please don't feed the Darrins..."
Matt: "OK, then...two wounds in the OTHER left arm."
Randy: "Oh man...I hope it aquires its target...um...no offense there, Fran (the target being aquired)."
Matt: "I wanna play a walkin' hindrance factory..."
Darrin: "You mean you got Tanus killed!?"
Bob: "Wanna hear a song about it?"
Jesse: "Just 'cause she's shakin' doesn't mean she can't see..."
Cassie: "Should we check these doors to make sure nothing jumps out behind us?"
Darrin: "Nah...they'll just jump out anyway. Let's go on."
Darrin: "I thought the blood gets off on the third floor..." (Simpsons reference)
Darrin begins hitting Bob with an inflatable guitar being used as a prop:
Matt: "Why? What did he do now?"
Darrin: "Oh, nothing...I'm just hitting him."
Matt: "Man, the only thing this screen is actually good for is for hiding all the die rolls I cheat on..."
Bob: "You can't even hit your own head."
Rick: "I suppose this would itch if I wasn't dead already..."
Town Elder: "We don't have much, but if there's anything that we can give you..."
Rick: "Um...ARM!"
Rick: "Stay stupid...we like you that way." (to Cassie)
Darrin: "Unzip your pants so I can see." (mocking Ortho's overactive space herpes)
Darrin: "He went into the Heart of Darkness 'cause it was safer..."
Jesse: (incredulous) "I'm the only one that knows how to drive?"
Cassie: "Why do you think we walk everywhere."
Bob: "Anything for a one-armed, undead Syker." (complying with Ortho)
Liz: "Um...what skill is 'picking up broken glass'?"
Bob: "I'm glad I fell down the hole (and died) because I'd really be messing this up right now."
Randy: "I'm crushing my ghost rock and duct taping it to my chest from now on..."
Cassie: "Please...do we LOOK like smart people?"
Jesse: "See? Everyone in the group rolled well."
CJ: "Uh...wait...I busted."
Darrin: "Well, I don't really consider you part of the group yet."
Cassie: "Thank you (for the help)...he's got supernatural powers - I don't."
Cassie: "You're not using any of your supernatural powers! You're not even supernatural! You're just a FREAK!"
Rick: "I always knew you'd die a stupid death."
Randy: "I wanna be Size 10!"
Darrin: "Uh...yeah...we'll get right to work on that..."
Rick: "You are the Saint of Stupidity!"
Rick: "But we already saw how Witches work..."
Darrin: "No, we saw Bob play a Witch..."
Rick: "A-ha...good point..."
Matt: (mumbling to self) "Let's see...how do we put out fire..."
Bob: "My head is out!"
Rick: "Your head has BEEN out."
Matt: "I didn't even get him up on the website yet..."
CJ: "Bob and Randy died." (to Cassie, showing up late)
Cassie: "Sorry." (to Randy)
Cassie: "Figures." (to Bob)
Rick: "Aw, crap - they're killing all of the kids..."
Cassie: "That means less money for us, right?"
Matt: "I don't even get the d6 wind on you..."
Darrin: "Well, you did 1 damage - that technically does wind..."
Matt: "But you're Harrowed."
Darrin: "Just trying to make you feel better."
Rick: "Well, nothing unless someone wants to give me their arm...why is everyone looking at Bob? His character isn't even here."
Matt: "What dark power do you have a deal with in order to get cards like those !?!"
Rick: "Argh! I'm useless! A sniper with one arm!"
Cassie: "Don't worry - you've always been useless."
Rick: "Better have another character in mind..."
Bob: "I'm thinking of a Savage..." (note - this is before he's even finished the character he's currently working on)
Matt: "O.K. - now that we've discussed how Bob's gonna die next can we move on?"
Matt: "Out of 20...no, 21...no, 22...sorry, 23 characters that have died, one third have been Bob's."
Rick: "Who the hell are you and what do you want?" (to Bob's latest character, approaching the posse)
Bob: "I'm a mercenary, looking for work."
Darrin: "How much are you gonna pay us?"
Bob: "The name is Polk..."
Teresa: "As in Polka?"
Jesse: "I never said they died bravely! Don't put words in my mouth!"
Bob: (in bad Asian accent)"You funny guy...maybe you should be in club."
Darrin: "Yeah, I'll give you a club..."
Matt: "Come on, Bob...smack me like you..."
Jesse: "So did Randy get to see the dead guy...oops...bad guy...oops...I mean, wounded chinese woman yet?"
Matt: "Oh, it's my turn...sorry...she (Liz) was doing such a good job killing Bob accidently I thought she was one of mine..."
Rick: "Hmm...the guy with no name is working on the chick with no name..."
Matt: "Everyone gets a white chip for not killing Bob this week."
Cassie: "We should get a chip for not killing him every week."
Rick: "How can I have my army of dead Bob's when they keep losing their heads?"
CJ: "Waitaminute...what was that about an alligator?"
Group: "ELEVATOR!"
Matt: (musing) "Now how am I gonna introduce Bob to the group THIS time?"
Darrin: "INITIATIVE!"
Jesse: (musing) "Hmm...that must have been an off week that Bob didn't die..."
Jesse: "You can't fall down here - you'd have to be a moron!"
Darrin: "Better be careful there, Otto."
Bob: "I'm becoming prone with the ground!"
Randy: "I'll do what I always do in an ambush..."
Posse: (sighs) "...nuke."
Bob: "You kidnapping women men, you!"
Randy: "I don't like MIRV...it's just not subtle enough...nuke is much better."
Jesse: "Don't think of it as dying quickly - think of it as dying SPECTACULARLY!"
Matt: "Spank me like...aw, whatever..."
Bob: "I will check out the bathroom!" (heroically)
Darrin: "My hero."
Matt: "What do you think the "to hit" mod would be to shoot Bob in the butt?"
Darrin: "Alright - who's going to spring the trap?" (Bob raises his hand)
Matt: "Everyone make a fear check."
Bob: (grumbling after seeing his roll) "Fine...how many dice do I roll."
Bob: "I seem to lose a character every month."
Posse: "MONTH !?!"
Rick: "I take it you're female, yes?" (regarding Bob's new character)
Rick: "Don't _make_ me mountain climb you, man..." (to C.J., impeding his progress to the beer fridge)
Bob: "Mount C.J.!"
Jess: "D'ya have a big box?" (to Bob's "Hooker with a Heart of Gold")
Bob: "Ooooh....darlin'...."
Matt: "The guards are being pushed back..."
Rick: "So they're not a threat...?"
Matt: "Right."
Rick: "O.K....Chainbraining the guards."
Bob: "Uh-oh...Rick is kicking the Wall of Reason."
Randy: "Ha! We got it right!"
Rick: "Yeah, but I said it was Famine."
Randy: "No, I said it was Famine...what you said was..."
Rick: "What I said was it was either the Jim Jones Kool-Aid Bunch OR Famine!"
Randy: "But I said it WAS Famine. Who cares - I say we can take this bitch..."
Matt: "Hah! I finally took you down!" (to Cassie)
Cassie: "Yeah - and it only took you a Horseman to do it."
Cassie: "He needs a left arm."
Rick: "Maybe if you go visit the wizard he'll give you a brain."
Cassie: "Don't worry, your god will save you." (to C.J.)
Matt: "Nah. This god is stronger than that god."
Chuck: "Ooh baby! You're so hot! Ooh baby! You're so hot!" (throwing himself into a campfire)
Matt: "Maybe you should work on the dwarf."
C.J.: "He hasn't asked me yet."
Posse: "He's UNCONCIOUS!"
Jess: "What the hell would make them clear out of this pristine little town?"
Chuck: "Card show."
Bob: "Here, sugar...watch my matress..." (to Clem...small mutant shivers in fear)
Chuck: "Was it a sweeper, a sleeper, or a one armed creeper?"
Rick: "It's his birthday...I can't spank Bob - he'd like it too much."
Jess: "Put the booty in the wagon..."
Bob: "C'mon over to my "Booty Wagon"...I'll make it shake for you."
Matt: "It seems as if somewhere in town you picked up a tail..."
Bob: "Their tail can't be as nice as mine...<BONK>" (sound of an empty 2-liter soda bottle being bounced off Bob's head)
Matt: "He'll give you a power hook-up."
Bob: "Good. I won't have to use my candles...for lighting..." (playing a sexual devian...I mean... "Hooker with a Heart of Gold")
CJ: "Well, it doesn't matter as long as I spread Christianity....a...a....um...the, uh....Word of Allah." (playing a Muslim Blessed)
Jess: "5...4...3...2...1...(pause)...Bob?...Bob?" (waiting for an anticipated sex comment from Bob)
NPC: "What are ya doin' with that there museum piece?" (referring to one of the Kid's gatling pistols)
Jess: (shrugs)"Shootin' people with 'em."
NPC: "Just 'cause I don't wanna screw anymore don't mean I'm a deader!"
Jess: "Give me a number so I can laugh at you." (during haggling over the trade value of ammo)
Jess: "Hey! You won't let me see yours? But, I showed you mine!"
NPC: "But y'see...you're the customer...HAH!"
Rick: "I ain't having no candy cane sticking outta my stump." (turning down the "Christmas Elf" Junker's offer of assistance)
Rick: "Yeah, it's gonna cost me 1,000 in trade..."
Cassie: "That's an awful lot for a stump."
Matt: "Well, there's a few side effects...but, hey...it's only Rick."
Cassie: "I just want sugar and bullets. Can I get sugarcane?"
Matt: "Wrong part of the country for that."
CJ: "There's always Cuba."
Matt: "There's a little matter of water between here and there..."
CJ: "Are you kiddin'? Many a Cuban has swum from Cuba to Texas!"
Matt: "Many a Cuban has been devoured by sea behemouths since the war I imagine."
Randy: "Oppenheimer, Einstein, shut up and eat it." (Doomsayer Blessing at a meal)
Matt: "Curiouser and curiouser said Alice...time for the mutant fire ants..."
Rick: "The predators attack in the dark, so everyone stay in the light."
Chuck: "That's why we haven't heard of any reports of ninjas disappearing."
Matt: "Before combat started, the party degenerated into a mad dash for batteries..."
NPC: "I need to have a babysitter for my strike force."
NPC: "No. THERE wolf...there Space Port."
Jess "One..Two...Three. How many Sykers does it take to kill a Doompriest? The world may never know."
Matt: "Um...right...you fire two shots at the moon."
Chuck: "Did I hit it?"
Matt: "You know there's something attached to your leg, right?" (to Rick)
Chuck: "And it's NOT the dwarf!"
CJ: "You're thinking too long..."
Cassie: "No! I just can't decide what gun to use! I have so many!"
Bob: "Don't you have armor?"
Rick: "No! I don't need it - I've lived longer than your last fourteen characters without it!"
Rick: "Do you have any idea what I had to pay in trade for this arm? I don't even want to think of what a leg will cost..."
Cassie: "Yeah, 'casue the problem with legs is you need them to move."
Rick: "THANK YOU COPERNICUS!" (followed shortly thereafter by...)
Rick: "Whee! I got a white chip for making the Marshal breathe rice!"
Bob: "What would Neitsche say, Otto?"
Cassie: "Neitsche would say 'Bless the goddamn sword'!"
Matt: "You hear the wind through the broken windows..."
Chuck: "Are the windows broken?"
Matt: "Ooh, he's a sharp one..."
Liz: "Should I make a drivin' roll?"
Rick: (singing) "Keep rollin', rollin', rollin'..."
Rick, Matt and CJ: (singing) "Keep crashin, crashin' crashin'"
Bob: "Um, old rule or new rule?"
Matt: "Ah, scew it. Old rule."
Posse: "YEAH!"
Matt: "I'm imposing a 10 second think rule on actions..."
Cassie: "Oh God, I'm SCREWED!"
Matt: "Any dice that fall on the floor when you roll are an automatic bust."
Cassie: "WHAT!?!"
Matt: "Kidding."
Bob: "Well, it's time for me to use my special powers.."
Rick: "What are you going to do? Hump one of them to death?"
Rick: "You howl at the friggin' thing three times a day! Can't you have it make me a stupid, friggin' light!?"
Matt: "They miss you again."
Chuck: "That's because they don't have the Spirit of Christmas in them."
Randy: "Maybe that's why they want to eat him - to get some."
Jesse: "I'm going to stand back to back with him and yell 'SHOOT, DAMMIT!' and then shoot myself."
CJ: "You're going to shoot yourself?"
Jesse: "Ah! No! Rephrase!"
Cassie: "Is throwing a bike balanced or unbalanced?"
Matt: "Definitely unbalanced."
Cassie: "DAMN!"
CJ: "Is the door open? I feel a draft."
Chuck: "It's the icy hand of death..."
Matt: "Make a Spirit roll."
Rick: "Hey-how-are-ya, Hey-how-are-ya" (Indian Chant)
CJ: "How does she keep doing that? She always goes ahead of you!"
Cassie: "But she's not important...it's all about ME!"
Matt: "It was attacking her but it busted."
Cassie: "Damn - I thought that was the one on me."
Matt: "It's taken me a year and a half, but I finally knocked Otto out in combat! And i didn't cheat! It was legal! LEGAL!"
Cassie: "Well, I'm impressed. It took him 1,000 bat thingies to take me out, but I'm still impressed."
Cassie: "That's it. I'm staying away from flying things. That's what took me out here, and moths did it to me before."
CJ: "But that's because you sniffed the moths..."
Cassie: "But it was still flying things that took me out."
Matt: "He hit with a three round burst."
Cassie: "Hah. I can do better than that." (out cold at the time)
Randy: "I used Altered States on the hooker."
Cassie: "You missed the guy with the blessed sword!"
Randy: "Well, it might have made him smarter."
Matt: "You see a camera and it's looking right at you."
Chuck: "I give it the old Dwarven Lick."
Matt: "Um...right...the little red light on it goes out."
Chuck: "Bet your ass it does."
Randy: "Hey, keep it. That's gotta be at least 3 electrical components."
Chuck: "Oooh yeah, baby. Yes it is!"
Rick: (singing)"Picture yourself on a boat on a river...STYX!"
Rick: I roll a 7! I'm HUGE!
Cassie: "Haw! I beat that and I didn't have to throw a chip!"
Chuck: "You're going to beat him to death with the Syker's leg..."
Randy: "Well, I yelled that we had to go, but unfortunately I needed a sacrificial lamb and..."
Bob: "Baaaaaa!"
Matt: "Move woman, move!
Bob: "Where have you been you bastard! I should come up there and scratch you..."
Rick: "...on the ass."
Bob: "Well now let's see...I take five to the guts...and I already had four wounds there. Boy am I dead!"
Chuck: "So the hooker's breast implants...I'm thinking chemical components. How many each?"
Jesse: "I got dibs on her wagon."
Cassie: "That's why you took me out - because it was the longest combat of all time!"
Matt: "Um...yeah, that's it."
Jesse: "Did you hear your sister? She's calling dibs before she even knows what's going on."
Bob: "Look everyone...Ortho is eating a prostitute."
Matt: "The bike will definitely not fit down the hole."
Cassie: "Why don't you hobble it?"
Liz: "Shut up!"
Rick: "Have you ever smelled a dead man's fart?"
Chuck: "Nope. Can't say that I have."
Rick: "It's like the Gates of Hell, man..."
Liz: "So, I wouldn't have time to reassemble my bike?" (to big-ass security robot)
Matt: (making servo sounds as the robot shakes its head "no".)
Liz: "Crap."
Chuck: "So is this old tech he's updated, or is this Junker tech he's built?"
Matt: "Yes."
NPC: "What were the monsters doing at the Bio-Dome?"
Chuck: "Road trip."
Matt: "The man at the control panel goes into spasms as the equipment around him sparks..."
Chuck: "I'll fix it!"
Matt: "Any more 9's?"
Chuck: "Holding."
Rick: "Yeah, onto my leg, you bastard!"
Matt: (counting "still up" members of the posse) "People...people...not a people..."
CJ: "I'm still bleeding, thank you!"
Rick: "You're not a people, you're a bleeple!"
CJ: "But I'm not dead yet!"
Rick: (makes gun with fingers and aims at CJ) "POP!"