The Silver cow A “chickenfeed” poem By Chris Peterson 12/6/00 The silver cow ran through the town Then off a cliff, down down down Checked his parachute, nice and ready Made of trashbags and spaghetti Needless to say, it didn’t work Into the sea, he did lurk In an octopus circus, he did go They were ‘bout to eat him, but he said “No!” Sprayed those ‘puses in the face With pepper spray and cans of mace Ran away leaving octopuses yelling “Darnit, ouch, what the helling” Devious purposes, that silver cow had Brought along an airtank, for that he was glad Lassoed a sea horse, with a rope That horse didn’t notice, the great big dope Until, that is, the cow dug in With spikes of feathers and frozen gin The horse whinnied, and began to trot Away from the place of octopus rot Then the cow dismounted onto a passing whale Sat on it’s back, and told such a tale! Of wails, pails, snails, jails, and tails Of gales, nails, grails, and mail Said the irritated whale to the silver cow “You’re so boring, shut up, shut up NOW!” With that he threw the silver cow off But that silver cow, he did little but scoff Hitchhiked with seals, hitchhiked with sharks Hitchhiked with crabs, mermaids; oh what larks! Then a piece of seaweed snatched him up And tried to put him in it’s gut But that silver cow would not be food Would not be eaten, so escaped! How rude! Took all the gold from the seaweed bank Liberated a kidnapped fank “A fank?” you ask, “what is a fank” I’m not quite sure, but it rhymes with bank The cow splashed out onto the land Climbed up a tree, and tried to stand But crashed right down, broke both his legs, Then found out he had layed an egg. He said, “what fun” and hit it with a hammer. A stupid dino popped out, cooing “Mama!” “Whoops, my mistake, wrong mama, bye bye! And off he flew, winking his eye. How may a dino fly, you say? Shut up, it’s MY story, I’ll tell it my way! Anyway, that cow was quite fond Of acting like he was James Bond But then the idiot who wrote this awoke And decided to put this stupidity in words Now I’m sorry that that line did not rhyme But I can’t think up rhymes for every line I just can’t recite and stand here all night Puzzling rhymes till my throat gets all tight You see, this poem was something to take up your time, When you could’ve been doing something better, like fight crime Or listen to music, or sing carols, or read to the young Or clean the bathrooms of Grand Central Station with your tongue! This collection of words was really quite queer And if you understood it, go get help, ‘cause that’s weird! So I think I’ll sit down now, and give it a rest I just had to get some randomness off my chest.

The Silver Cow

Well, I suppose that this poem takes some explaining... My Language Arts teacher, who is more then mildly obsessed with chickens, has this thing called "chickenfeed poems". She gives us little bits of paper with poetic words on them we are supposed to use or to inspire us. I happened to recieve "silver", "cliff", "octopus", and "sea". My deranged mind took it from there. I then heard about a poetry competition, or "slam" , in my area. I decided, what the hell, might as well try it. I didn't think anyone would like it. This poem got soemwhere around a 28 out of 30. But I only had "My Pet" to back it up with, and didn't do well in the finals. So I wrote "Dreams" and "You or Me" for that purpose. We'll see...