Reported by David Barretta

Windhaven, MA (AP)-Researchers at the Atmospheric Sciences Laboratory in Windhaven, Massachusetts have recently made a startling discovery.  Based on jet stream patterns recorded over the last twenty years a new and controversial theory on the origins of global warming has been formulated.  Chief Scientist Dick Focking says that this new hypothesis will shock the global warming community.  "Our findings will substantially change the nature of the debate surrounding atmospheric warming," Focking said.  Using computer models Focking illustrated that global warming actually began in the childhood home of Goddess Farah.  "It seems that the overuse of Her Easy-Bake® Oven precipitated the rise in Co2 emissions.  I know how it sounds, but this supposedly innocent toy in the hands of the young Goddess has led us down the path of worldwide catastrophe."  At the basis of this intriguing argument is the Goddess's early obsession with brownies, the ones without the nuts.  "She cooked brownies,"
Focking continued, " night and day, sometimes for weeks at a time.  This extreme brownie baking increased substantially the amount of chocolate particles in the atmosphere.  These carbon based particles combined with Co2 already present to disrupt weather patterns and create what might be called the brownie house effect."  He added that there is no way to reverse the effects.  "It will be death by brownie for all of us.  At least we will expire with the knowledge that it is Goddess Farah and her Easy-Bake® Oven who has been the origin of our extinction, and indeed, the extinction of all life on earth.  As She Herself might say, 'eat my brownies and die.'"  Focking's paper on the subject will be published in this month's edition of The Journal for Atmospheric Hot Air Studies.