NOVEMBER PULSE MAGAZINE

By Silviano Barbosa

A close look at the old fashioned weddings in Goa

There is no happier and more ecstatic moment in one's life-in this world than the day one gets married. From times immemorial, man and woman have both craved and yearned for a consummate love and heavenly bliss. And this institution of marriage with age-old traditions still survives in Goa.

A marriage in Goa is a long drawn out process. It starts with a soirikar, who is forever scouting the villages for prospective brides and grooms. He scans their background, status, caste, pigmentation, occupation, assets, and education, matches the couples and makes contact with their parents. Later he gets them together at a pre-arranged meeting place. And if they like each other, there is a promise of a marriage and the .soirikar claims his commission. Then their parents discuss matters such as dowry and dennem, and a date for the wedding.

Now the real tasks begin. You go to Church to talk to Padre Vigar. He asks lot of questions on Cathechism and you better brush up on your doutrina, otherwise your letter will never be read in the church three times. "Devache kurpen cazar zata ...". Next you make arrangements for the wedding, the band, get all your certidaos in order for the civil marriage formalities, arrange for a pig, and build fire-place outside the house to cook pulau, sorpatel. and doce. Then paint your house white, go to the shetti (gold-smith) to order custom gold jewelry. Don't forget to get all your savings for the dowry and the furnishings for the dennem or arrange to get a big loan for the expenses or go to all your relatives and friends for contributory loans and possibly even the village Bhattkar to mortgage your ancestral home.

The bride looks forward to the day she will get married. But first, she has to go to her maternal uncle's house (mamaguer) where she drinks water from the well and her uncle offers her chuddo, a bunch of multi-coloured glass bangles on her both hands, a sign that she is now engaged. Next comes the mudi, to celebrate the engagement, when a priest will bless the gold rings. Now as she is really engaged, doce and dalli (sweet rice pudding) will be distributed throughout the village in a black earthen pot with a doulo (coconut ladle). Only a couple weeks left for the big wedding. Time for the great bridal dress. The best tailors are hired to do customized stitching for the bride as well as the bridesmaid and new dresses for close relatives.

Only a couple days left now and the closest relatives from far off villages come running to help the household with their horde of children and the bridal house becomes a palace of relatives and children running around making noises and having fun and no school for about two weeks. The cooking is now done outside on the fireplace in big burkulo and kunnim (pots), a collso of fennim is always ready. And after rosary at night, they eat, drink and later they go for a deep slumber on ator (a large bamboo mat) in the midst of a kanni (story). Parents visit houses in the neighbourhood for an informal wedding invitation. If no one is home, they stick a tallo (a stalk of leaves) in the main door key-hole (message waiting). By default the entire village is invited, no cards, no gate-crashers, all guests.

Now two days to go. Bride and groom go to the city hall for the civil marriage and after that they go to a restaurant for celebration. Friends and relatives gather to kill a pig, cut meat for sorpotel, hadd-mas, ross-mass buch, and kalliz.(bones, roast, tripe and liver) Kids take the poskotto (bladder) and blow it and tie it and play with it like a balloon and later eat the fried pork rind, the fat remnants.(Cholesterol was not invented yet). Neighbourhood womenfolk are busy helping with the cooking and doce, men are helping to put up a big mattou (mega tent) The mattou is draped with white decorated sheets. The chairs and tables and the band stage is all set. The dance floor is all sand filled with jack-fruit leaves for easy dancing.. The village chief sets up her wares. The soda machine is set with old soda bottles with marble at the top. Cases of cerveja St. Paulo Girl beer are purchased for special guests like Padre Vigar and Bhattkar and other special guests.

On the eve of wedding day, there is bhikream jevonn, a big lunch for the beggars, consisting of big pieces of meat, vegetable and fish served on a potravoli (leaves plate) on the floor, in memory of the dearly departed. And on this day, you get saguades, like fish gantonn, kellim-guellavo (gift baskets of fish and bananas) from your well-wishers and relatives that you have to pay back later in kind. Later at night they perform ross, a ceremony to bathe the bride/groom with coconut milk, in unison with the singing of verses in Konkanni in praise of the bride/groom and their relatives.

Finally comes the big day. The bride is all nervous. A beautician is hired to fix the bride's hair, dress her up and to make-her look like a princess for a day. Every one is busy and no one is ready, a specially decorated car pulls in to take the bride to the church. The bride starts wailing and mother joins to make it worse as their hearts cry out at the final parting. from her mother's house. The groom and the best man go to church in a separate car. In fact the bride and groom shouldn't see each other for 24 hours before wedding, it's bad luck. At the church, the father gives the bride away and soon the solemnity begins with a beautiful choir. They both go to the alter and the Mass begins, they exchange vows but don't kiss, sign the roster and they are man a wife forever. The church bells ring, the fireworks explode and the celebration begins. Once outside the church they are hugged and kissed by the well-wishers.

Then they go to the groom's house, where they are welcomed by the groom's mother, who holds a dhumpel,(urn containing burning incense) in one hand making circular motions around their heads and with the other hand helps the bride step inside the house with her right foot first for good luck. Then more fireworks signal the grand entry. And at once the mestre begins his violin recital for the commencement of the Ladainha. And after that some snacks and drinks make the rounds and the bride and groom go to the city for the grand wedding photo.

And later that night at the reception in the mattou, the house is crowded with village guests. The guests from the bride's side (potvor) come in specially hired buses singing manddos on their way. "Tambdde rosad tuje pole " The loud speaker in the mattou plays Konkani songs from Alfred Rose, and songs from Amchem Noxib, etc.. The live Band of Johnson and His Jolly Boys belt out sweet romantic music that encourages every young couple to dance. Men approach their dames requesting for a dance. But some dames are discriminating, they say "I am engaged". Poor guy goes back to his chair dejected.

The sound of opened soda bottles and shouts of joy from the children, together with hot drinks such as fennim, Porto, Moscatel, Macieira and Vinho Branco and heavenly smells of basmati arroz, sorpotel and miskutt and the presence of beautiful guests and their joie-de-vivre fill the whole mattou with a celestial ambiance not seen on this earth for a long long time. There is dancing going on forever, interrupted only by the serving of soup, arroz and ixttou (stew). And in the early morn, the Bhattkar or Padre Vigar or a VIP raises the toast to the newly-wedded couple, to be followed by "He's the jolly the fellow Hep, hep burre, Uddon guelemm parveamchem birem... Beddsaum tumcher poddom re".And all guests wish the bride and groom with the Port chalice in hand. And at 5 o'clock the wedding is over, every one is sleepy and tipsy. The potvor perform the xim (border) by pouring wine on the ground and they depart on their buses to their village singing manddos all the way back. And for the young wedded couple, the tiresome honeymoon begins.

The next day the mattou comes down, the house is in order and the wedding shifts to the bride's place. Same scenario, may be little less festive with a simple Ladainha for those who are poor, otherwise it's double celebration. The wedding is now really over, but relatives are still there and will be there till all sorpatel and mass (meat) and attoiloli coddi(dried curry) is over, some two weeks after the wedding.

After all this hoopla, who will know the outcome of this union. Only time will tell. The wedding is over but the marriage in Goa is here to stay forever and ever.

(Silviano Barbosa is a poet and a writer and this article is compiled from the material from his forthcoming novel.)

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