I have been a transvestite all my life really,even before I had a name for it.Unlike many others,it has never been a problem for me.No broken marriages,estranged children,depression,unemployment or suicide attempts.But I know that so many of us have had to face these things.I think that possibly subconsciously I have arranged my way of life to ensure that I could live the way I wanted to.
But having said all that,I did suspect that my desire to dress would not meet with common approval,so like most of us,it was a secret passion until I reached my 40s.Also,although I think it's a tendency that can't be got rid of,sometimes for long periods I didn't indulge it,and even now I can recognise within myself a male critic who occasionally rears up to despise it.This might be a problem for some personalities,but not for mine!I think I can accomodate both aspects of myself quite comfortably (and there are others too).
I'm happy with not knowing who I am.
Many tgirls put as a kind of motto on their profiles things like "be true to yourself";or "be who you are" etc.I can see why,but for me the self has two fundamental principles that make it impossible - i)it's infinite,and b)it's impermanent.Because the self creates,defines,limits and expands the universe it can't be contained or grasped by anything else,especially not your own understanding.And because it's always subject to change it can never be tied down or fixed.I know we all believe there is a kind of true being inside us watching everything,but personally I think that's just our attempt to find something to cling to in the storm.There's no-one in there really,so what is there to worry about?Now doesn't that feel better!
To see a few pictures of myself and friends out and about recently in;-
