THE PLAYERS:
Glenn
Nick
 

I wanted to murder, wanted to kill, but
I suddenly couldn't. I found that I was not
"potent," if you catch my drift. I started at my limp little dog,
who was sitting beside me, whimpering. I slowly sroked his back until
he stopped whimpering. Then I threw him
out. I didn't need him! So then I wen to the
drug store to pick up my perscription -- three years' worth of anthrax vaccine.
My doctor tried to tell me that I'd just get anthrax, but what does he know? So I
left the doctor's office, and headed
towards... hey, wait, why in hell should I tell you?
Oh yeah, you bought my story. I guess you deserve to know. So anyway, I was
accelerating at a constant rate towards Jupiter when I suddenly crashed into Io
and became unconscious. Yes, stupid, I know.
I don't know what happened before I woke
up, but after I woke up, let me tell you! Wait, no, I don't remember
that either. All I remember is when I said "home," and my mom threw a
manhole cover st me. I dodged her throw
easily, running towards a house where I knew I'd be safe.
Paul's house. Oh yeah. Cue the 70's porn music. Bow-chika-bow-wow.
So anyway, I "hid" there until it was "safe." he kept me "safe" and "warm."
By "safe" and "warm" I mean we fucked.
A lot. Afterwards, he made some tea, and
then I went home, walking slowly, so that I could smell the roses. When I arrived,
my mother asked me "and the HELL have you been, young man?"
I decided to act sarcastic -- "Well, mother,
I went to Paul's house and we fucked a lot."
"You liar!" she cried, and threw a can opener at my head. "I was fucking
Paul, not you!" The can opener flew towards my head with devastating
flyingness. I was very confused.
What was she aying about Paul? I wanted to know, so I
fucked Paul, and while I did, I asked Paul. He responded, "Because you're
dead," and shot me in the face. I laughed in the face of -- The End.