THE PLAYERS:
Nick
Matt
 

"T'was brillig," I recited, "And the--" My rendition of Jabberwocky
was rudely interrupted by loud belching from the back corner of
the strip club. "What a good hot dog!" I said
unaware of the anthrax spores placed in the bun.
So he chomped on my anthrax-laced ass. It hurt. But then he died from
a cause unrelated to the anthrax that was killing him. I laughed. Then I
ran, ran so far away. Back to the
ebola virus that was eating my stomach. "Uggh,
me and my deadly motaba virus," I droned. "He's ebola, dumbass," my
doctor intoned. "Mayhaps the virus has caused retardsation of brain cell reproduction,
which is causing the homosexuality." So back to the
reproduction. Ah yes, multiplying. After the trip to
sex camp, we did a lot of multiplying -- at least, that's what it would have been,
if she hadn't been on contraceptives. Which are against my religion of atheism."
Sundays was church day, when I worship a God I
don't believe in. Anyway, after the surgery, my new
cock was good as my old one. No, wait, better! Not bigger, not thicker, just
with a built-in vibrator that activated on contact. That little accessory cost
150 shells, since in the town of Bedrock that was
our form of currency. Back to the fake dick...
it was tam real. So anyway, After I fucked -- wait, no, I have no friends. But
when I turned the vibrtator on and walkd around school it looked really funny.
Mr. Monroe, who was quite fond of my vibrator,
told me to bend over. "No," I said, "But yes!! I meant,
I can't help it. I'm Sir Fuckolot!" So anyway, I slowly bent over, when
suddenly the Yaffe-Dragon burst into the room and started jacking off.
"Hey, Cliff, it's me, Pete!" Banks said as he, too, lubed
up. "Only one thing to do, and that was to answer some
questions like what the FUCK are you doing?" Yaffe-Dragon only replied, "Oh yeth,
Lara Croft!" So I slayed the Yaffe-Dragon. Then, I rescued Maiden Gia, a.k.a. Lady Acceleretion-
F=ma. "So turn in your labs, you bitch!"
Banks said. Boy that was the greatest second
in my last few minutes, Banks thought, as he reffered to himself in the third person even though he was the narratoe. The End.