THE PLAYERS:
Whore McWhorenson III
Nickolai
Glenniebun
 

It was chaos, total chaos. Weights were flying
everywhere. I reached out to catch them, and they hit
me on the back with baseball bats. I heard the familiar crunch of my
vertebrae shattering as I was struck. But I reached behind me and was able
to take my spineal cord out of my back before it killed me.
I would survive, but it wouldn't be easy living without a spinal cord.
I tore my robe, shaved my head, and put ashes on my
head. They were hot still. It hurt. But I was
resilient. I held on and stayed where I was. The heat became all but
unbearable. I gritted my teeth as the intense heat washed over me.
Finally, it stopped, adn I was finally better. I went to
the hospital while I still could, and got a replacement spinal cord.
Unfortunately, the tension in the cord was not enough
to counteract the forge of gravity, and I promptly
engaged in a classic action-reaction pair with myself, meaning I punched myself
in the stomach and puked my brains out. It was funny. But I was still affected
negatively by the rampant plague. I can't believe I never told you
about the plague. You see, it's a very virulent virus, which is to be expected, and it
self-defines with definitive precision. So, having enraging
side effects to Cipro, I decided to meditate and
figure out what the FUCK Cipro is/was. I literally thought "is/was,"
because I didn't know which was grammatically correct and I'd be damned if I misused
a modifier just because I was dying. There. I said it. I'm dying.
So now you know. Don't judge me! I can't stand it (all the time) when
you yell at me (some of the time. The rest of the
time it just turns me on). Anyhow, I was patiently
screwing myself (having already been turned on) when I decided that this
anecdote had become pointedly, openly, and excessively sexual. Well, perhaps
not. You can never get enough of a good thing, am I right? Of course.
Also, death is a good thing. So I kill myself now for all humanity and
sigh heavily. Boy, is death relaxing. Hmm... I hummed.
It was getting boring. All the not-consciousness
drove me unconscious. I don't care if this doesn't make sence, ass-hole! That's it! Story's over!