THE PLAYERS:
Dave (AKA Fuller)
Glenn
 

Since I have no left eye, reading was extremely
difficult, but I was able to read Reading for Dummies
when my daddy bought it for me. I really miss my daddy.
He was short, thin, and Asian. Well, before he died, that is.
His demise was on MTV news, dum-da-dum-da-dum
youhear it first. Then Tom Brokaw said it was racial
profiling. Bullshit. I never believe anything Tom Brokaw
says. It's just always wrong. Anyway, back to the major story. I saw that
Reading for Dummies: The Second Edition was sold out,
and I was furious; urge to kill rising, rising, lowering, rising,
rising, lowering, lowering, lowering, gone. Lowering, gone.
I calmed down and slowly leveled at the clerk my hickory
writhe, after placing him in a burlap sack and beating him
vitriocally. I love Pleasantville, but I was still without my book.
I became violently angry. How could they not have my book?
I decided to leave my home in Pleasantville and go to Smallville.
Smallville is located on 42 degrees latitude and
63+pi degress longitude. But I was a stoop,
and did not have my calculator in radian mode. Stoop, stoop,
stoop. Also, I forgot to use the law of sines, instead using
the law of cosines. So the tangent of the
demons in my head caused by limits of
Mr. DeGennaro's equations. Ah, blissful equations.
Anyway, what was I talking about? Ah yes... I was talking about Mr.
Degennaro's mouse-like, oh, wait, wasn't it chimpmunk-like
appearance. I expected him to nibble on some cheese or nuts.
I like cheese and nuts. Especially cheese; but especially nuts.
I was so goddamned silly I made even Mr. DeGenarro laugh.
For we feasted on come crackerbarrel gorgonzola
cheese and some fine wine from France. Vive la surrenderre!
The French are a proud people -- NOT! They are even
more cowardly than Mrs. Smith, who I killed. Jesus.