blondejokes

BLONDE JOKES = )

1.What do you call a dead blonde in a closet?
    Last years hide and go seek winner

2. What do you call a blonde in a swimming pool?
    An air bubble

3. What do you call a blonde in a freezer?
    A "frosted flake"

4. How do you kill a blond in a swimming pool?
    Put a scratch and sniff sticker at the bottom

5. 3 Blonds are walking down the street when they see some tracks. The first one said "I think they're dog tracks", The second one said "I think they're cow tracks". The third one said "I think they're Dodo bird tracks". What happened next? They all got hit by a train!

6. A blonde and a burnette jump off a cliff, both at the same time.(version1) Who hits first?
    The burnette, because the blonde had to stop and ask for directions.

7. A blonde and a burnette jump off a cliff, both at the same time.(version2) Who hits first?
    The burnette, because the air in the blonde's head slowed her down.

8. Why did the blonde sell her car?
    She needed gas money

9. What do you call a smart blonde?
    A Golden Retriever

10. A blonde walked into a barber shop with a pair of headphones on. She asked for a haircut. The blonde added "but don't take my headphones off or else I'll just die!" So the barber started washing her hair and decided, he'd just remove the headphones before they got ruined. So he took them off. She immediately died. The barber wondered why. He put the headphones on. "Breathe in, breathe out, breathe in, breathe out,"

11. A blonde was driving to Disneyland. She got off the freeway and saw a sign that said ~Disneyland Left~, so she turned around and went home.

12. How do you confuse a blond for about an hour?
   Give her a bag of m&m's and tell her to put them in alphabetical order

13. Why did the dumb blonde get fired from the m&m company?
    Because she throw away all the w's

14. What do you do if a blonde throws a grenade at you?
    Pull the pin and throw it back.

15. What do you call a blonde with half a brain?
    Gifted.

16. What do you call a brunette standing between two blondes?
    An interpreter.

17. What does a blond name her pet Zebra?
    Spot.

18. What does a blond yell in an emergency?
    What's the number for "911"?

19. Why did the blond climb the glass wall?
    To see what was on the other side.

20. How can you tell if a blond is a good cook?
    She gets the poptart out of the toaster in one piece.

21. How many blonds does it take to make chocolate-chip cookies?
    15, one to make the batter and 14 to peel the M&M's.

22. Why do blonds write T.G.I.F. on their shoes?
    To remind them that Toes-Go-In-First.

23. How can you tell if a blond has been using a computer?
    There's white-out on the screen.

24. A blond ordered a pizza and the clerk asked her how many pieces she wanted it sliced into, six or twelve? "Six", she said, "I could never eat twelve".