I'm sure you've all heard the old cliche, "Today is the first day of the rest of your life." I normally hate to use cliches, but this one actually applies to me: today I began my new Atkins lifestyle. Things are definitely going to change. But before I get into all that, let me tell you a little more about myself.
I'm young. I'll be 24 this November. Perhaps my youth is one of my greatest motivations. I look back on my life and realize that, although I had an enchanted childhood, I've been overweight all my life. For most of that time I hated my body and felt out of place. But I always participated in team sports -- I was very active and healthy -- and was fairly popular throughout my younger years. So my weight "problem" was only a problem for me, and only until a couple of years ago. You see, as I matured and branched out to meet new people, I discovered a vast subculture of size acceptance of which I previously dared not even dream.
I have to admit that part of me feels guilty for dieting, because maybe it isn't true to my nature. Maybe losing weight goes against my biology, against everything encoded into my DNA. I've been overweight all my life. It's become such a major part of my self-identity that I'm a little intimidated by the very idea of changing myself. I love being a BBW and having such wonderful FA (fat admiring) friends. I love myself as I am, I love feeling beautiful and sexy as I am, I love my life, I love my work, I love my clothes, and everything else, and I love that so many people agree. But I don't love feeling ill. I've suffered with GERD for quite some time now, and I'm tired of it. Not to mention an extensive family history of heart disease, cancers, and diabetes. So this is not about looking better, which I don't feel is necessary. It's about feeling better longer. See, it doesn't matter what size dress you wear as long as you can walk up a flight of stairs without passing out from oxygen deprivation. :) My consolation is that "BBWism" is as intellectual as it is physical. I know I'll always be welcome in that wonderful group, even if I no longer look like the rest of them.