Schwarzepigger: "I'll be Bacon"

Pot-bellied Arnold: "Your Pies.... Give them to me..."

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T3 destroys a brillant 2-film run in what could have been the best movie series ever. So is it like Star Wars, or Alien, where the third movie is absolute dire pap? Why is it that these efforts always turn into a money spinning franchise, where a greedy disinterested producer employs a non-entity director that mis-casts and mis-directs and destroys everything that was built by the first two films? Dammit! I was really looking forward to T3. What a turkey!

T3 is full of holes. It's not got a great flow to it, and has too many parts where belief is non suspendable. It's a cold pander to a minority Arnie-audience who will like anything under the Terminator banner.

The fact that Arnie is so slightly very-out-of-shape isnt the worst thing about T3. In fact I think its quite funny. But maybe he should have never been casted whilst in that condition. Also, Arnie has had to endure reciting a really terrible script. That has a had a lot to do with making T3 into a turkey. Then there's the rest of the casting. The producers have busted up one of the best double acts in history, that of Arnie and Eddie Furlong, and brought in a replacement who underperforms to such a degree, it kills everything. In addition to this, the lead adversary, this time a lady Terminator, is equally badly played by someone so miscast it's untrue. Incredible that, in this Sci-fi thriller, that the two new lead players are devoid of any energy at all. There is nothing for deadpan Arnie to play off.

Worser still is where they write the mother character out in such a dumb tasteless way. That sours whatever feel the movie had left. By that time i'm desensitised by the badly directed and expensive initial car chase that is so bad and cold that my attention span is already off line. And then, the final agony, when the script reveals the terminator's origins are just a farcical university type robot on tank traps. Oh no. You see, T3 isnt so much about not developing the excellence of the first two movies, its been all about destroying it. So much could have been done. I was so annoyed that I started this page on my site. It's not that i'm trying to insult Arnie, it's just that T3 demanded a satirical response. After all, I did have to pay large amounts of cash to see the movie, and i'm still seething. Vote for President Schwarzenegger!

Favourite Furlong in T2: "Five low (too slow)" and "Easy Money"

WHO ATE ALL THE PIES?

In the future, Pie-net create an overweight Terminator, sent back in time to blend in with American obescities.



Escaping from the TX, they've just lost the roof of their car:

John Connor: Looks like you've blown up a tyre...
Terminator: Affirmative. Ve need a new vehicle...
John Connor: No, I meant the spare tyre round your stomach..
Terminator: It is vell vithin my mission parameter...
John Connor: But it's well over your belly's diameter...
Terminator: Look, I vant to run for Office, vant to run for Governor..
John Connor: You should really run that treadmill, run off a few pounds..
Terminator: Negative... I am unable to comply.

Meanwhile... at the Gun and Pie Shop...



The overweight T-101 has stopped off for some emergency provisions:

Terminator: Phase Plasma Trifle in the Forty Slice range
Storeman: You really know your desserts, buddy
Terminator: Pepsi 9 litre
Storeman: Just what you see pal...
Terminator: munch munch munch



Storeman: Hey! You cant eat that in here!
Terminator: munch munch WRONG! munch munch

faT-101: "I need your clothes, your corset, and a face lift"

Hells Angel: "You forgot to say please"

Arnie: "Say... That's a nice Cake..."

Talk to the Flan

"OK, I am talkink to ze hand, now vhat?"

"Come with me if you want to eat..."

Why does a T-101 always have an austrian accent? And why are they programmed to always announce that they'll 'Be back'?

Tubbynator: "I have detailed files on Human Gastronomy"

Also, another T3 goof:

Connor learns that T-101's are off a production line, and therefore all being of mostly same dimensions.
So why doesnt he ask why the T-101 in T3 is so Out of shape compared to the one in T2?
Why doesnt he say to Arnie that fat and old Terminators should never try and wear leather pants?


"I'll kill you if you fluff any more lines"

Maybe this isnt really John Connor at all. That's why he doesnt seem to realise that this T-101 need to work out more, and stay off the pizzas. Maybe this Connor charlatan will die in the next movie, and the real Connor (Furlong) will re-emerge as the worlds saviour.

Arnold the Pig: "Pasta la vista, Bay-bee..."

Stahl be back (unfortunately)

Vhat is vrong vit your pies?
All will be revealed in T4

Terminator enjoying a nice cup of Tea

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T-Mail: georgianesther@yahoo.co.uk