My last column was about how fucked up my life was. About how my shyness and anxiety have cost me relationships and how I live my life. Things have changed. Changed for the better I might add.
It all started on the Internet where an odd woman answered a personal add I had posted. Odd? Yeah, her English was poor and full of errors and she used things like “U” instead of “you”. This stinks of a teenager goofing around. I always question things like this as anyone can say they’re whomever on the Internet.
After a few emails back and forth I was getting even more suspicious. I was asking specific things from this person and she wasn’t giving me much back as far as answers go. Okay, well enough of the games. I decided to just send her my phone number. A big risk on the Internet. I could end up getting crank calls. Not a big deal but a pain in the ass.
On the day me and Brian were stapling Xyster #2 together I got a phone call. Hmmm.. it’s this Vickie woman I’ve been emailing with. So.. now’s the chance to ask a few questions voice to voice.
I quickly found out that she is married. “Shit” is what I think to myself. Married? Yeah.. okay well. She hasn’t been with her husband for nine or so months and he treats her like shit. I also find it hard to understand her as she has a very heavy Chinese accent.
We decide to meet at McDonalds (not a place I frequent often) but since it’s in Richmond I figure it will be easy to find. I ask her how I will recognize her. She tells me that she’ll be driving a white Acura Integra and that she’ll be the one with crutches. Crutches? Broken leg? Uhhhh.. I guess I’ll find out.
Some how I manage to find the McDonalds right away. I don’t know this area of town at all. I mean zero. Zip. Nada. But I found the damn place on the first shot and didn’t even use a map. Sometimes little accomplishments can make you feel so damned proud of yourself. Right. But we were to meet at seven o’clock and it was about that time.
I scan the parking lot looking for that damned black Acura. I find one in the corner and walk over but no one’s in it. I wait… I wait some more and it’s already seven fifteen. Shit.. I’m pretty sure I’ve been stood up. I get back in my car and I figure I’ll give her a few more minutes.
As I sit my nifty little 1982 Ford Escort I see a white Acura pull in beside me. White. Yeah yeah.. she said it was a white Acura not a fucking black one. I can see that the person is kinda cute I hope this is Vickie. But I also quickly see the wheel chair handicap logo on her car. Now I’m starting to understand the “crutches” part.
I have to say that I haven’t dealt with disabilities before. I had a friend that was in a wheel chair but we just hung out a few times and got drunk and never really got to know him all that well. I mostly talked to him through some local computer bulletin boards. I guess the shit rises to the surface sometimes but Vickie wasn’t even out of the car yet and I was feeling a bit dejected because I could see she was disabled.
I walked out of my car to greet her and she was just taking her crutches out. We slowly.. and I mean slowly, walked to McDonalds together after exchanging hello’s.
This girl is quite disabled but it’s really what’s inside that counts. But I can’t get past the fact people are staring at her. Or is it just my own paranoia? I dunno.. but it bothers me that I feel this way.
We sat in McShits for about three and a half hours talking. It took awhile to understand Vickie because of her Chinese accent and plus her speech is a bit slurred from her disability. We were getting to know each other quite quickly and I was liking this woman but I wasn’t expecting much as I’ve been on “personal” dates before and they always bomb. People expect too much. Or at least I feel the women have expected too much from me. I really don’t know. But if you read my column in Xyster #2 you’ll know I have problems in dealing with people so a date situation is the most stressful and I find it really hard to be myself and not being a complete basket case (no Green Day song implied).
There are a lot of negatives working here. 1) I really figured this date bombed again. 2) her disability scares me [And here I always thought I was so fucking open minded. -Andy] 3) she’s married (this is a BIG negative). 4) plus it’s the story of my life.. my assumption is that I’ll never find a woman that will love me and that I’ll be single the rest of my life. Hell, I’m 31 years old and haven’t been in a relationship with a woman.
But -as we are about to leave the McDicks, she invites me over to her apartment the next day. Wow! A woman is invited me to her place. This doesn’t happen to me much especially sober. I take her up on the invite and agree to be over at six o’clock.
I drive home kinda happy but reserved as I don’t want to get my hopes up. After all this was just one date. Let’s not go over board. My car was running funny. I can’t quite pinpoint the problem but proceed to drive home. Sure enough, not far from my home the damned thing stalls. Right in the middle of fucking Marine Drive. There’s always a ton of traffic there and I just know I’m gonna get plowed by some fucking drunk driver.
Okay, so maybe I over reacted. I managed to get my car going again after several attempts and I got my ass home. Unfortunately the next day I wasn’t so lucky. My car was deader than GG Allin. Shit!! I’m supposed to go to Richmond tonite to Vickie’s place. The bus.. yeah the bus.
Taking a bus to Richmond ranks right up there with going to the dentist. I hate fucking transfering twice and going to some city where I have no clue where anything is. But I wanna go meet this woman so I hafta do what I hafta do [okay so bussing it isn’t all that tough, I just hafta whine sometimes! -Andy].
After two hours of bussing, transfering and waiting I made it to my destination. I start wondering towards the general direction of Vickie’s apartment and manage to find it. There’s apartments all over the place and hers is nestled between two others. “Is this the place?” I wonder to myself cuz I don’t see her last name on the intercom list. But I press the code she gave me and she answers and lets me in. Alright! Found it!
Like the stupid fuck I can be sometimes I start walking the wrong direction when I make it to her floor. I hear “Andy!” from the opposite direction and quickly swing around trying to hold my dignity. There’s Vickie down at the other end of the hallway. Great.. it’s starting out just beautifully. I already look like a stupid fuck who can’t read the numbers on apartment doors. Doh!
This situation in Vickie’s apartment was kinda awkward. I wasn’t quite sure what to say or do. But we managed to make conversation and we found we have a lot in common.
Now let’s skip ahead several months. Boy did me and Vickie ever hit it off. We’ve been together almost every day since we first met. We’re even getting married! Talk about changes. Hold on a second, if you were actually paying attention to this column you’ll know that Vickie is married. Not anymore. The divorce is finalized and we’re getting hitched.
Fortunately we met each other. There’s very little chance of a guy living in Vancouver meeting a girl from Taiwan. She basically picked Vancouver cuz she needed to leave the States (she was studying here for her Masters Degree and her Visa was about to expire) so she just picked a city in Canada and came here has she has landed immigrant status. Her and her parents lived in New Brunswick for awhile many years ago.
Another thing is that when she phoned me she was phoning the wrong person. Ha ha! She was planning on meeting someone else she met off the Internet. But she phoned my number cuz she had scrawled it on a piece of paper and did it kind of out of the blue.
Her marriage was a joke. She never loved her husband. But this guy had been married five times and knew how to rope a woman in. Luckily we found each other. We’re each others first and only love. I’m starting to sound really fucking sappy right now so I’ll quit.
Wish me luck in my new life and I’ll keep you posted.