Brighton is a great place to catch a gig. I've yet to pay more than £6 for a ticket to see a band in Brighton. There is a good local scene down here on the coast, with a mix of ages at the gigs, on very few occasions has the atmosphere not been good at gigs. The gigs are in much smaller venues than you tend to get in London so you end up seeing bands who play the Garage or the Underworld in Bull+Gate size places but more of that later. The point of this piece is to get a few things about this town of my chest and to give a crash course in how to enjoy a night/day/weekend down here for a gig.

They call it London by the sea - bollocks. If half the ponces who stroll about this town in pantaloons, the current fashion I'm led to believe, were to take a walk around New Cross they would be given a slap no questions asked.

Brighton is currently a town that is in extreme danger of disappearing up its own arse. It has become so all engrossed in the campaign to gain city status that it seems to have forgotten what the town used to be all about - a place where you could express yourself.

Not anymore the place has manifested into some sort of new fashion capital of Britain, hence the toe punts strolling about in pantaloons, these are long shorts down to the shin for the uninitiated, a bit longer than the ones all you skate types wear! The whole culture of the town is changing and I don't like it one little bit, there no chance of me joining the beautiful people. Casuals I can handle but not these pricks.

Growing up around Bromley the concept of a decent pub passed right by me, please don't give me the old "its the people that make the place" line because Bromley is full of morons and just because there are a few people having a good time around a table with the odd classic on the jukebox it does not mean you are in a decent pub.

I've been down here for nearly 3 years now and when I moved here there were many, many good pubs, classicly punky dives with cool people in them.

Unfortunately chain pubs and promotional companies have sabotaged a great many of them.

It seems to be the way it is going everywhere so I shouldn't think Brighton is the only town suffering. I heard the cornerstone of the Leeds scene The Duchess was closing, sad.

I still recommend Brighton for a gig however, especially if you are coming down from London as you will find them a great deal more intimate. The main promoters are Just One Life DIY, a really hard working collective who do as many shows as is humanly possible - all non-profit. I have great respect for the JOL lads. Most gigs are £3.50/£3cons and this really does represent value for money.

The main venue at the moment is The Freebutt pub, a U-shaped venue which can get very hot but has a pool table and good beer, plus you can walk in and out of the venue at will and the yard outside provides relief from the heat. JOL make sure that all the gigs finish at reasonable time so the last train back to London, along the coast etc can be caught. JOL really are tops, they did an all dayer at Easter and ended up £100 down but you don't hear them moaning about it or putting the prices up at future gigs.

Despite the trains back to wherever running after shows I really recommend you make a weekend of it or a couple of days in the week because there is plenty of mischief to get up to! So here is my places to go/avoid guide to Brighton.........

Drinking

There are apparently something like 450 pubs and clubs to choose from down here, a great many of them are arse, however. Avoid West Street like a day out in Sutton, it is the home of Yates, McCluskeys and all the other places your likely to get a glass stuck in your face for not being a townie.

Anywhere that displays a rainbow flag or sticker in its window is one of gay friendly or scandolously camp, in the case of the latter you are likely to find them less than welcoming if you are not that way inclined. Avoid the Bulldog, Amsterdam and Zanzibar at all costs. I'm not being intolerant, if you want to experience intolerance go into one of the those places and see how straight people are treated.

If a pub has a (Zel) symbol on the wall please, please don't go in. (Zel) is a company that is taking over pubs in Brighton tearing the soul out of them, destroying atmosphere's and sending prices through the roof - £2.60 for Newcastle Brown Ale. Many people down here are boycotting the company altogether, this does limit your drinking options but it is the right thing to do.

Below are pubs I would recommend a visit to, most of them are independent others are non (Zel) or C-side, another gang of tavern slayers, affiliated.

Evening Star (Surrey Street) - home of the Dark Star Brewery it might be full of CAMRA types but it is a real drinkers pub, Budvar on tap. Last time I was in there the barman was playing some punk, to the confusion of an elderly gentleman and his pint of mild.

The Quadrant Freehouse (by the> clocktower) - Independant serves all those unusual Belgian beers and guest ales. Excellent bar upstairs in the evening. Watch the stairs on the way down to the toilet though, many an ankle turned in drunken haze.

Lion and Lobster (Sillwood Street) - Run by a friendly Irish family, tricky to find but worth the hassle, great food. It does promotions on the production of a NUS card, yeah I'm a skinflint student but if it saves me money in these dark days of the £2.50 pint then I'll go with it.

Temple Bar (Western Road) - Has a rowdy edge to it but still serves good beer and has punk on the juke box. Serves cheap toasties as well which is nice when hunger strikes.

Nan Tuckers (Western Road) - Alright its in Hove but it has the best pint of Guinness for miles around and is worth the 1/2 hour walk home at night as far as I'm concerned. Very tolerant of pub sleeping, the Bromley crew can ask Paul Bowman about that. Has a crazy sort of horror theme but isn't a goths haunt, full of crazy statues.

Prince Arthur (turn right at McDonalds on Western Road) - without doubt the best pint of lager on the South Coast, it takes about 4 pints of the old Nelson to get completely rat arsed.

Hobgoblin (London Road) - despite being a chain pub it has a certain character of its own and an excellent beer garden to get sunstroke in.

If your looking for a cheap drink then CTs on Queens Road will oblige, very funny place lots of weirdos and pissheads, you'll quite often catch me in there! Next door to that The Pig In Paradise does a £1.30 pint if you have an NUS card or £1.50 from 12-5 Monday to Saturday for everyone, £1.50 all day on Sunday which means it is a good place for the football. Incidently Queens Road is about to be renamed Ocean Boulevard! See what I mean about disappearing up its own arse.

Other pubs worth a mention are The Druids Head (South Lanes), The Albert (Trafalgar Street), Smugglers (Ship Street), The Freebutt even when there is no gig on, Hand in Hand (Upper St James Street), The Cricketers (East Street), The Great Eastern (Trafalgar Street), The Heart and Hand (North Road) and oh fuck just do a crawl and find out for yourself.

Once a great bar but now the choice of the besuited office worker is the New Kensington (Kensington Gardens). Formerly run as a co-op and now just another pub, its tolerable but just isn't The Kenny - R.I.P. When they shut it down for refurbishment, practically overnight, someone painted "Oh my God you killed The Kenny" on the wall. Sadly that is the way the town is going.

As for clubs. Not a great deal going really, Tuesday night at The Gloucster (Grand Parade) is Alternative night, 50p a shot and they play NOFX, Bosstones, Green Day etc but it is tempered by the playing of Slipknot, sodding Megadeth etc. There is a monthly Ska night at The Shrine (Dyke Road) called Tighten Up Ska, but it is mostly indie nights. The Hungry Years on the seafront does have rock nights on Friday and Saturday which are tolerable but play a right load of old shit to be brutally honest.

Eating

If your going to drink that much then you'll want a feed. Without a doubt the best place to eat in Brighton is The Clocktower Cafe on Dyke Road, it is tiny but does the best food you'll get at the price - Roast Dinner £2.50. It shuts about 4pm but is honestly the greatest value I have ever come across, miserable sods behind the counter but does have the novelty of having a menu bigger than the actual cafe! I'll try and cover Vegetarians as well here if I can.

Best burgers are from Grubbs who have a menu which is pure lunacy and they make all of the burgers there and then for you so its all fresh, 24 different vegeburgers someone told me.

Kebabs are best from Billys on West Street but watch out for tossers in there after hours.

If your after a Ruby then its Agra Balti House on Ship Street,caters for everyone and has a dangerous Madras which comes with my recommendation. Veges try Bombay Aloo on Ship Street.

If your flush enough for a curry then your flush enough for a meal and Preston Street has got every type of food you can think of, some expensive some not so. The Market Diner (off Grand Parade) is the home of the Gutbuster breakfast open 10pm - 10am excellent atmosphere and top grub, bit pricey but what do you expect in the middle of the night? About a 5 minute walk from the Free Butt as well. Other than that there are take aways all over the shop.

Sleeping

If you behave yourself and put a pound in the meter then you can stay at mine. There are plenty of backpacker type hostels about. You'll have to find more out yourself but I know The Friese Green Hostel, Walkabout Inn, The Backpackers Rest are all about £9 a night in a dorm which is pretty good, loads of B+Bs from £10 up as well. Don't use the YMCA it is full of smackheads, i.e thieves. Again I am not being funny but this comes from experiences of others. If your down for a gig and need a place to crash I can put a few people up. Just email me (ravenbhoy@hotmail.com), I'll always come out for a beer anyway.

Shopping

Punky stuff to buy is a bit thin on the ground in Brighton. Edgeworld Records (Kensington Gardens) is about the only place that stocks punk records, I'm a little funny about this place because it is a little pricey and is above a comic shop, run by people who are spookily old to have such leisure pursuits. Still the younger lad who works in there is helpful with ordering stuff.

Skaters would have a field day down here as there are several shops to suit their needs.

If you are a poncey arsed fucker from Surrey you will also have a great time as poncey shops are flavour of the month down here at the moment, more and more just seem to open, fossils set in marble anyone?

If your in to second hand shops there are plenty in the North Laines and you have to check the second hand bookstore on Queens Road, it has about 20,000 books filed in no particular order whatsoever!

That should give you an idea of where to start but there are plenty of pubs and places I haven't tried so drop us a line if you find somewhere good that I haven't mentioned. If you just come for the evening for a gig it is worth the journey because The Freebutt is a great place to see a band and the people around the scene down here are for real. Gameface was a bit of a joke in April with loads of kids in Slipknot T-shirts past their knees running around but the music is generally appreciated by receptive audiences and you never get muscle clad freaks attempting to take centre stage in the mosh, mostly because the venues are too small for a mosh.

You should all try out the scene in different towns anyway because travel is good for the soul.