The Beginning of the End…

          Ryan Stiles had been called to a meeting. He hated meetings and regarded them as a boring waste of everyone's time. As he strolled up to Dan Patterson's office he began planning things to daydream abou;, work was too obvious, his wife (now there was an idea), what he was going to have for dinner… animals in a zoo… animals in a zoo! Where the hell did that come from?
          "Ryan come in," Dan smiled as he opened the door and moved aside.
          Ryan wandered past Dan and flumped in a chair doing his best to look interested. Drew was the only other person in the office. He looked sheepish and it was unusual that he hadn't greeted Ryan with some witty comment.
          "So what's on the agenda for today? Are the shirts too loud? The double entendres getting too crass? Hoe-downs giving everyone the shits?" Ryan joked.
          Dan's face stayed solemn and he leant back against his desk and crossed his arms.
          "I want to be honest with you Ryan…" Dan began.
          "Look, if it’s about me kissing Colin again…" Ryan mused.
          "Whose Line has been going a long time and we've seen a lot of great improvers come and go. We had the John Session/Tony Slattery phase, then you and Colin…and we think its time for a new phase to begin," Dan announced.
          Ryan's mouth opened and closed several times. "So?" he eventually breathed.
          "We're terminating your contract, along with Colin's, Greg's, Brad's and Chip's," Dan said coldly.
          "What, that's it? Fourteen years on Whose Line and you just…" Ryan stopped himself from calling Dan various things, none of them his name. He looked over at Drew. "I see you you're not losing your job," he snapped.
          Drew looked at his feet.
          "And what about Wayne?" Ryan demanded.
          "We've decided that Wayne is the beginning of the new breed of improver we're seeking," Dan replied.
          "Well that's just fine and fucking dandy," Ryan hissed and got to his feet.
          "Ryan man, calm down," Drew said weakly.
          "When are you going to tell the others?" Ryan scowled.
          "We were hoping you would…being an executive producer and closer to them than anyone else." Dan's voice wavered as Ryan glared at him.
          Ryan shook his head, not able to express exactly how pissed off he was. He turned around briskly and stormed out of Dan's office.

          He power-walked, clenching and unclenching his hands until he got through the electronic doors.
          Outside it was thrashing down; the usual response of someone faced with a downpour was to get out of it as quick as possible. Ryan defied convention and decided to just stand in it, with hope that it might calm him down. It didn't; instead it just made him cold.
          Eventually he slopped into his car and screeched out of the car park. Ryan turned the CD player up, hoping the music might soothe him. Unfortunately it was Barney's Greatest Hits which only pissed him off more.
          Ryan pulled up at the first phone box he found, hurried into the booth and proceeded to call Colin.

          "Hey sexy, I've got everything set up."
          "Col."
          "Ryan!"
          "You can call me sexy if you want."
          "I thought you were someone else."
          "No really."
          "Did you want something or are you just bored?"
          "I had a meeting with Dan and Drew just now."
          "Did you listen?"
          "Didn't really have a choice."
          "You get in trouble again?"
          "No."
          "Are we getting a new set?"
          "No."
          "Can you give me a hint?"
          "Well it has something to do with us getting fired."
          "What!"
          "You heard…we're fired, got the sack, retrenched, told to fuck off and never come back."
          "But…why?"
          "They want a new breed of improver."
          "Oh please…the fans will revolt."
          "I've already started…the only people not getting fired are Drew and Wayne."
          "Why doesn't that surprise me?"
          "Col, nothing surprises you…you surprise everyone else."
          "Not any more."
          The line went silent.
          "What are we gonna do?" Ryan sighed.
          "I don't know…start our own show."
          "Hey…"
          "Ry, I was joking."
          "Col…you're a genius."
          "Ryan, we're not doing it."
          "I love you," Ryan perked and hung up.
          Ryan suddenly felt a new lease of life. With Colin, Greg, Brad, Chip and himself they could easily start up their own improvisation show, one that could rival the new Whose Line any day.
          "I'll show you Patterson…I made that show what it is today and I'll damn well rip it to pieces if I have to," he chuckled, smacked his head on his way out the phone booth and cursed all the way through the rain to his car.