Elian Gonzales and Britney Spears Love Affair Shocker!
Places To Go On The Web:
I am Elian Gonzales. Do you have a TV? Everyone knows who I am. Why do you want to find out about me anyways? Are you a stalker or something? Leave me alone!
Places To Go On My Site:
I really don't have time for anything but starring in movies and buying toys.
My friends are all miserable beggars and or cuban activists who want to separate me from my father. Except for my good friend Britney (Spears). She's my girlfriend. She and I play together and I buy her stuff (lots of crap) and then we go in her room to explore. She says I'm cuter than little Ricky.
NEWS
Today my lawyer told me that in a commercial for the comedy South Park, which is on Cuba's hit list for ridiculing me, one Eric Cartman said that if he had 10 million dollars he would make my good friend, Britney Spears his "sex slave". Listen, Mr. Stone and Mr. Parker, Bill Gates paid 10 billion to make Britney Spears his sex slave, about 10 times more than your sum if my Cuban math holds. Sometimes truth is stranger than fiction. Watch South Park tomorrow on Comedy Central at 10 eastern time. That's all, folks.
6/27/00
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NOTICE
In June 2000, Elian Gonzales was taken to Cuba to live with his father. This web site is now on permanent suspension because Elian is unable to work on it and no one else can do what he did. His last words, "That's all folks." were perhaps a premonition of things to come.