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THIS IS A SUMMARY OF THE OBSERVATIONS MADE BY ME AND THEN WRITTEN BY
ME IN THIS BOOK.PRIVATE
A woman is mainly
thought of as a sex object in today's male-dominated society, however, a
woman has many other talents. A Woman is the other half of the human
species and she has the basic human right to experience and take part in
the many other aspects of human
society.
THE FOLLOWING ARE THE
HIGHLIGHTS OF THE TEXT INCORPORATED IN THIS BOOK.
CHAPTER 1
WOMEN AND MEN
1. Work and come together, provide equality between the two sexes.
2. Let the women
handle the world, for a change.
3. Women-life is
free. No appointments are necessary.
4. Women will not need
men as much in the not-so-distant future.
5. Do not be
controlled by anyone and you will attain your destiny.
6. Each year shows a
trend towards increasing violence against women.
7. A man is smart when
making love, because he is talking to a woman.
8. Women will take
over the world since they give life.
9. Do not waste time
complaining and talking; just do it, take control.
10. A woman wants a
man to be intelligent, caring, loving and honest.
11. One of the items
that most intrigues women is, what is that man thinking?
12. Abortion is a
woman's issue. Men should keep out of the discussion.
13. A woman has to be
many times smarter than a man. If she is only as smart as a man, she
will lose every time.
14. The more meat on a
woman's body, the better she is sexually for a man.
15. Lust is inherent
in the human
species.
16. If a person thinks young, it effuses
out.
17. Women trust people and appreciate a good deed more than
men.
18. People in the science and technology field have lots of
money, however, people in the arts field are more courteous and
polite.
19. A woman is inherently and intrinsically manipulative
of men.
20.
Pretending is a major aspect of female behaviour in this male-dominated
society.
21.Human society has
evolved to be female-oriented but
male-dominated.
SOME OF THE HUMOROUS ANECDOTES
INCORPORATED IN THIS CHAPTER 1
ON WOMEN AND MEN.
(A) What do Osama Bin Laden and a pantyhose have in common? The answer
is, "They both irritate the
BUSH".
(B) A woman's tomatoes in her garden are not growing well, however, her neighbour's(a man's) are. So she asks the man his secret. The man
says, "I come out at night and take off all my clothes and dance naked
for the tomatoes.". After a few days the man asks the woman as to how
her tomatoes are doing, she says, "I did what you said, but my tomatoes
are still not growing good although my cucumbers are doing really
well.".
(C) A drunken lady goes into a bar and says, "Tarbender, Tarbender, pour
me a Martussi, I have an aching heart.". The Bartender refuses to serve
her. She says again, "Tarbender, please, I have an aching heart.". The
Bartender says,"There are three reasons I will not serve you, (a) One is
that I am a Bartender, not a Tarbender (b) The second is that it is a
Martini not a Martussi (c) and the third is that your heart is not
aching, your boob is in the
ashtray.
CHAPTER
2
SHOW
BUSINESS
1. The sexiest woman
of the 20th century according to Playboy Magazine is Marilyn
Monroe.
2.Reporting the news is more responsible than merely reading the
news.
3. Having a few who understand the problem is better than
having many who do
not.
4. In 1976, in the U.S.A. I lived a life of stereotyped decadence --
Quote by David
Bowie
5. People stay in show business because it is the only thing that they
can do that they are fairly good
at.
6. "You can go your own way, everything is waiting for you." -- a song
by the musical group Fleetwood
Mac.
7. Are you living in a fantasy
in a rock 'n' roll band or on the edge of
reality?
8.What village do the "Village People"(the musical group) come
from?
9. A woman in a drenched wet sari preferably by rain, is sensual.
10.Come on
women, Do not get taken by advertisers and
manufacturers.
11. Life is a maze of choices and setting your own
priorities.
12. It is normal for one person to love or be attracted to another
person.
13.
This is not a lesson it is the final exam -- as said by George
Carlin.
14. A woman spent her money on stomach pills to cure the millennium
bug.
15. What does "Strong enough for a man, but made for a woman"
mean?
16. If you wish to be famous, make friends with
reporters.
SOME OF THE HUMOROUS ANECDOTES INCORPORATED IN THIS
CHAPTER
2
ON SHOW
BUSINESS.
(A) A man and his buddy go golfing and tee-off. The man drives his golf
ball into a buttercup, and in fishing for his golf ball strews butter
all over the place. Mother Nature gets angry at seeing this and tells
the man that he must be taught a lesson. Mother Nature tells the man
that his punishment is that he cannot have butter for a year. The man
starts laughing. Mother Nature asks him why he is laughing after
getting such a stiff sentence. He says that his buddy's golf ball is
buried deep in the Pussy Willows.
(B)
When the Americans cross the Canadian border to take advantage of the
exchange rate, they have to keep one thing in mind, that a 36DD bra size
in Canada is a 33B in the
U.S.A
(C) The husband thought he had an idea by firing the chef, so the wife
could learn to cook. The wife also had an idea, fire the chauffeur then
the husband will learn how to
fuck.
(D) A slogan for the Women's World Cup Soccer Team could be, "It is this
or field
hockey.".
(E) V.D. is short for
Valentine's
Day.
(F) Diane Sawyer said on The Oprah Winfrew Show,"If I ever interview the
Pope, one of the questions I would ask is whether Jesus Christ would
approve of his
attire?".
(G) If a Woman Television Network executive has sex with a man one time
in the night she calls it, "A Special", two times in the night she calls
it, "A Mini Series" and three times in the night she calls it, "Fantasy
Island".
(H) Show-Business people's favourite bed-time snack is, "Honey, I have
just left the
studio.".
CHAPTER 3
PSYCHOLOGY
AND
PHILOSOPHY
1. Attitude is the key. Truth and Honesty are slowly coming to the
forefront.
2. Equality for women
will not happen by waiting for the goodness of men.
3.
Fame is an appurtenance of what one
does.
4. Being judgemental, and expressing reality, are two different
items
5. Secrecy, concealment, and denial are used to hide one's
faults.
6.
An inference being a deduction, is more neutral and unbiased than an
opinion.
7. Do not be militant with
nature or it will wreak its
wrath.
8. If there is no audience there is no
show.
9. Duty is a
superficial attitude. The amount it over-rides human compassion and
understanding,
is directly proportional to the demise of human
beings.
10. All
women are not good, however, there are more good women than good
men.
11. If everybody else is doing it, and getting away with it, then why
not
me.
12. Human reproduction and profit should not go hand in
hand.
13. The behaviour of a baby depends a lot on the state of mind of the
mother during
pregnancy.
14. The quality and quantity of extra-marital
affairs depends on the possessive and obsessive nature of the
marriage.
15. Liberation means being free from the things we do not like, in order
to be enslaved by things we do
like
16. Women and men should start to establish a sensible culture in order
for their descendants to
survive.
17. The best thing in life is to spend it on something that outlasts
life.
18. Hatred is a form of
love.
19. Quality is more important than
quantity.
20. Is
everything affected by gravity, or does the Earth
suck?
21. Achievement comes when one decides to live within one's
possibilities.
22. For many people, the lure of amassing money is the most important
objective of all.
23.
A female child is mentally and physically different from a male
child
24. Co-operation, not competition, is the
key.
SOME OF THE HUMOROUS ANECDOTES INCORPORATED IN THIS
CHAPTER 3
ON
PSYCHOLOGY AND PHILOSOPHY.
(A)
A philosopher friend of ours recently likened marriage to a violin.
After the beautiful music is over, the strings are still
attached.
(B) Masturbation is an organ
solo.
CHAPTER
4
PRESIDENT
CLINTON
1. The most powerful person on this Planet called Earth, is the
President of the
U.S.A
2. If the evidence is against your case, then argue like a devil.
3.
Knowledge is power in this sick
world.
4. Even though he did not publicly admit that he was guilty, the
settlement infers
it.
5. Politicians flourish where a few catchy words can be said that would
take volumes to disprove.
SOME OF THE HUMOROUS
ANECDOTES INCORPORATED IN THIS CHAPTER 4
ON PRESIDENT
CLINTON.
(A) President Clinton could have hired John Cochrane for his defence and
John Cochrane's opening line to the jury could be, "It is not IMMORAL,
IF IT IS
ORAL.".
(B) Monica Lewinsky's Christmas cards might read,"I know I have been
naughty, when Santa asked me to sit on his lap, I dove in head
first.".
(C) A book on the New York Times best seller list could be, "Men are
from Mars, Bill Clinton is from
Arkansas.".
(D) How many times in History have people known the shape and curvature
of their leader's STAFF?
(E) Hillary Clinton
gets her "Money for nothing." and President Clinton gets his "Chicks for
free." -- from the song, "Money for Nothing." by the musical group Dire
Straits.
CHAPTER 5
FAMILY AND
CHILDREN
1. Men start the day at home, where the woman is
the
boss.
2. Kids love their toys, 'till a new one comes along. There are many
adults, who still think like
kids.
3. Motherhood will not be the basis of denial or abridgement of rights
under the
law.
4. The average woman needs 45
minutes to get dressed for work in the
morning.
5. Fathers are generally more affectionate towards their
daughters.
6. Experiencing childbirth and bringing up children entails a lot of
self-sacrifice, patience, and
tolerance.
7. Politicians flourish where a few catchy words can be said that would
take volumes to disprove.
8. Some
women view romantic movies and novels as
reality.
9. Marriage between a man and a woman is frequently a joke or a
farce.
10. In the East Indian culture, a woman's life is enjoyable 'till she
gets married.
11.
Children go a little funny when given a set of
crayons.
12. Society became enamoured by the story about the pet python (snake)
that the lady allowed near her small
children.
13. Bullying in high schools has no
gender.
14. A woman is instinctively more
capable of bringing an infant even if she has not given it
birth.
15. In Thai culture, a marriage dowry is given by the man's family to
the woman's
family.
16. One-third of the world's population is under 15 years of
age.
17. A father wants his
son to be like
him.
18. Women double-check what they say or do a lot more than men.
19. A
child develops 40% of its mental advancement potential by the age of 3
years.
20. Children often perform activities innocently and without any
ulterior
motive.
SOME OF THE HUMOROUS ANECDOTES INCORPORATED IN THIS
CHAPTER 5
ON FAMILY
AND
CHILDREN.
(A) A patient lying in hospital deathly ill and plugged into a
life-support system, wakes up and is suffering from amnesia.
When asked
his name or address he says that he does not remember, however, he
remembers (a) Linda, a hooker (b) Caroline, who, was the toast of the
town in Tijuana and (c) Tanya, a blonde with long hair down to her
knees, wearing black fish-net stockings, a garter belt, dressed in black
leather and having a whip. Unfortunately, all his memories are erotic.
He is told by the Lady Doctor that he will not pull through. Aghast, he
says, "Doctor, you are telling me that I am going to die". The Lady
says "I am not the Doctor, I am your wife" and then she unplugs the
life-support
system.
(B) A Doctor tells the wife of his patient that her husband is
terminally ill and is going to die, however, if she wants to help him
prevent it, she should make love to him three times a day. On the drive
home exasperated by his wife's silence he eventually asks his wife as to
what the Doctor said about his illness. She says, "You are going to die
very
soon.".
(C) Little Timmy hears a ruckus from his Mom's bedroom, when he opens
the door he sees his Mom lying butt naked on the bed yelling, "I need a
man, I need a man.". Another day he hears the same ruckus from his
Mom's bedroom and sees and hears his Mom doing and saying the same
thing. The third time he hears a real good ruckus coming from his Mom's
bedroom, opens the door, and sees a man. So he rushes down to the
basement, rips of his clothes and yells, "I need a bike, I need a
bike.".
(D) A person goes to court asking for a divorce on the grounds that the
person lives in a two storey house. The judge says, "What kind of
grounds are that for a divorce, that you live in a two storey house?".
The person says, One story is that I have a headache and the second
story is that it's that time of the
month.".
(E) Detention, is when you have not done your homework
(D-tension).
(F)
A man is sitting in his garden naked from the waist down with only a
shirt on. His grandson asks him, "Why are you sitting with your pants
off Grandpa?". The grandfather says, "The last time I sat here with my
shirt off I got a stiff neck, so this time I am sitting with my pants
off and naked from the waist down. It is your Grandmother's
idea.".
CHAPTER
6
POLITICS AND
GOVERNMENT
1. The Minister had been given a
palatial house for $350.000, probably by the
Church.
2. Bosnia is a political war, no ifs and buts about
it.
3. Men, not women are responsible for the over-population
crisis.
4. Violence makes a victim of all of us. Speak out against
violence.
5. Governments must admit women at once to the dominant role in all
decision making that directly affects
women.
6. In union disputes, money may be an important point, but there is a
lot involved in the negotiations.
7. We do
not lie, we just misappropriate the
truth.
8. The shortage of 1 cent stamps by Canada Post has created a
black-market in 1 cent
stamps.
9. What is "appropriate"? Is it using words to disguise
misdeeds?
10.
What is better, comedy or politics? What is the difference? -- as said
by Kim Campbell when she was running for
election.
11.
They are asking people whether they would prefer a fare increase or a
reduction in transit
service.
12. The problem is, they do not listen to
us.
13. If an immigrant makes a honest effort, the North American people
will help the immigrant succeed.
14.
If there is no audience there can't be a
show.
15. Politicians flourish where a few catchy words can be said that would
take volumes to
disprove.
SOME OF THE HUMOROUS ANECDOTES INCORPORATED IN THIS
CHAPTER 6
ON
POLITICS AND GOVERNMENT.
(A)
David Stupich in the Bingo Charity Scandal, was a reverse Robin Hood.
"He stole from the poor and gave it to
himself.".
(B) The Pope stood before a hushed
crowd of attentive villagers and spoke to them saying, "You must not use
the pill.". A lovely signora stepped forward, shaking her finger.
"Look", she chided the Pontiff, "You no play-a-da-game, you no make-a-da-rules.".
CHAPTER
7
WOMEN ARE
WONDERFUL
1. I decided to step
out of Humanity a little bit, just enough to see it clearly.
2.
Duty is a superficial
attitude.
3. Look, but do not touch when women and girl watching.
4.
An inference is less prejudicial than an
opinion.
5. Motherhood will not be the basis of denial or abridgement of the
rights under the
law.
6. Mature girls do not cry, they get
even
7. Some women of different nationalities
have to beg for money from their
men.
8. The behaviour of some of humanity is stupid and
animal-like.
9. I will help people, but I will not help them take
sides.
10. Books may be fiction or non-fiction. I call them fantasy or
reality.
11. Children often
perform activities innocently and without any ulterior motive.
SOME OF THE HUMOROUS
ANECDOTES INCORPORATED IN THIS CHAPTER 7
ON WOMEN ARE WONDERFUL.
(A) When a person says to you when you have written or said something
controversial, such as, "Why do not you go back to where you came
from?" say, "Do you know the size of an average
womb?".
(B) When I told Doctor Baird about the hockey stick souvenir I gave him
for his daughter (for Christmas) to go with 3 dimensional hockey card
and hockey goalie mask which I had given him earlier, I told him that a
lady could wear a hockey mask as a goalie and nobody would realize that
she is a woman. He asked me, "What happens about the change-room?" I
should have told to tell his daughter to, "Use her
head.".
CHAPTER 8
SOCIETY
1. The survey was just taxpayers' money down the
drain.
2. It is equality, giving respect where it is
due.
3. It is reality, men do take
over.
4. Provide a society where violence and injustice is not
endemic.
5. Older women have an even worse time in today's
society.
6. Are not dykes something they build in the
Netherlands?
7. Wife beating and abuse should be
treated as a first degree criminal
charge
8. Citizens should ensure that common sense
prevails.
9. So when does a man think coherently? The answer is
NEVER.
10. I am King of the house when you are not
there.
11. Humanitarianism, not Communism or Capitalism is the key to society
nowadays.
12. Whether it
is -40 degrees in Celsius or Fahrenheit, it is the same
temperature.
13. Women, believe in yourselves. Do what is correct for women and
men.
14. Women and men should learn to co-operate and
co-exist.
15. The Sari is worn by East Indian Women to protect their skin from the
harmful rays of the sun and the prying and lustful eyes of
men
16.
Women were not born prostitutes or drug
addicts.
17. Young East Indian women are forced into prostitution by their
parents.
18. Women are different from men, both physically and
emotionally.
19.
It is an error to assume that society today has allowed women any real
participation.
20. To many women, the illusion of
control is more important than
reality.
21. We live in an imperfect
society.
22. Basically, the price of almost everything is based on supply and
demand.
23. In
Japan's polite society, women get molested during rush
hours.
24. Being late for whatever reasons diminishes your
credibility.\
25. The importance of money is over emphasized in today's
society.
26.
A woman should be appreciated for her mind as well as her
body.27. The East Indian culture has to get over the obsession of
having male
children
28. Aging is for cheese; forget it.
29.
Nowadays they can separate the X and Y chromosomes of
humans.
30. A woman's body is an intrinsic and complicated combination of
cells.
31. A female child is inherently loving and caring till she attains
adolescence.
32.
As far as Parenting is concerned, there is no message of equality
between the two human
sexes.
33. The rewards attained are
directly proportional to the development of one's own
resources
SOME OF THE HUMOROUS ANECDOTES INCORPORATED IN THIS CHAPTER 8
ON
SOCIETY.
(A)
Love is different from Lust. Love is an extension of life, whereas, Lust
is only an
extension.
(B) What is the difference between a remote control and a G Spot. The
answer is; A man spends a lot of time looking for the remote control.
(C)
The new male control pill may be to LOSE DIRECTION towards the woman
egg, as men hate getting directions.
(D) A
woman wearing a fur coat is asked by protesting animal activists, "Do
you know how many animals they had to kill for that fur coat?". She
replies, "Do you know how many animals I had to sleep with in order to get it?"
E) Two midgets go to a Church and ask the Father if there is a midget
nun. The Father says, "There are no midget nuns in this parish or
anywhere in the world.". So one midget tells the other midget,"See, I
told you, You went to bed with a
penguin.".
(F) What is a Zebra? The answer is; 26 sizes larger than an A
bra.
(G) Sluts and whores do it for money, while wives do it for
refrigerators.
(H) In the summer time some women seldom wear panties,
as it is
WARM.
(I) Most people find sexual partners in their office. I feel sorry for
the
self-employed
(J) Adjusting himself after a back seat quickie, the fellow turned to
his date and said, "Gee Marge, if I had known you were a virgin, I would
have taken more time.". She replied,"Gee George, if I had known you had
more time, I would have taken off my
pantyhose.".
(K) An Inuit and an Eskimo are snowmobiling in
the Arctic when suddenly there is fuel and oil all over the place. They
take the snowmobile to a mechanic, who turns it upside down, inspects it
and says to the Inuit, "I think you blew a seal.". The Inuit says, "No,
that is only ice on my
moustache.".
WOMEN, DO IT, HOWEVER, DO IT
CORRECTLY.
AFTER ALL IS SAID AND DONE,
SHE IS STILL BUYING THE STAIRWAY TO HEAVEN.
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