Where I Am

i'll tell you what's on the other side
be it green fields or bright fire
though i truly believe that we are not the same
and you will not see what i have now
the angels, the light, the hope
it's all a lie to me, for i have only
darkness

so i pray in the night, alone
that you will not see, will not be with me
though i need you more than ever
i think that this is a special place
for cheaters, for liars, for killers
that's all i am to this "god"
suicide

it didn't look at my past
at everything that i did for all i loved
it didn't care about who i was
only what i did and why i'm here
the knife, the blood, last breath
i can't be forgiven for this sin
eternal