Being Happy

The terror always closed in on me
Clenching my throat, taking my life
But there was a light I couldn't see
I didn't want to see that it could be okay
I have to stop living in the past
Because that's not getting me anywhere
The knife was always an escape
Because I didn't want to face the truth
I'm not depressed, nothing's wrong
I'm scared to be happy, it could get worse
If I let that happen, I could be hurt
And I don't want to be hurt anymore
But I can't do it anymore
I have to stand up for myself
I have to allow myself to be okay
I have to start letting people in
And keeping the wrong people out
Instead of closing myself up to all
And now I can see again
The light, my path is clear
I have to learn to love unconditionally
And to give of myself as much as I recieve
It's not a burden for others
But to give myself up to them
It's what they want from me
They want me to trust again
And that's the path I must tread again
For long ago I lost my way
But now I can be myself once more
And truly make others happy
By being happy myself

Written on June 20th, 2004.