30 Harsh Things To Say To A Naked Guy

1. I've smoked fatter joints than  that.... 
2. Ahhhh, it's cute.
3. Why don't we just cuddle?
4. You  know they have surgery to fix that.
5. Make it  dance.
6. Can I paint a smiley face on  it?
7. Wow, and your feet are so  big.
8. It's OK, we'll work around  it.
9. Will it squeak if I squeeze  it?
10. Oh no... a flash headache.
11. (giggle and point)
12. Can I be honest with  you?
13. How sweet, you brought  incense.
14. This explains your car.
15. Maybe if we water it, it'll grow.
16. Why  is God punishing me?
17. At least this won't take  long.
18. I never saw one like that  before.
19. But it still works, right?
20. It looks so unused.
21. Maybe it looks  better in natural light.
22. Why don't we skip right to  the cigarettes?
23. Are you cold?
24. If you get me real drunk first.
25. Is that an optical illusion?
26. What is  that?
27. It's a good thing you have so many  other talents.
28. Does it come  with an air pump?
29. So this is why you're supposed to  judge people on personality.
30. I  guess this makes me the early bird.