Before I can get into the review of this movie I must ask one question. On the front of the VHS and DVD boxes and on the poster, Rachel Hunter is shown in the forground. Her back is bare and there, clearly visible on her right shoulder, is a tattoo of green vines and pink flowers. It is a very large and obvious tattoo. I've watched the movie twice and I haven't seen the tattoo. Anybody know what happened to the tattoo?

First, a little background. Rachel Hunter plays Susan Price, a writer of romantic adventure books. She is engaged to the shady Jack Reynolds played by Gary Busey. They make an odd couple. She is tall, gorgeous, wholesome looking and he is...well...Gary Busey. It is obvious from the start that Jack is up to no good and Susan reads a telephone conversation that indicates he is being blackmailed by a relay operator. Jack has been communicating about a murder on a some kind of TDD machine. People who cannot use a telephone use a machine so that they can type rather than speak their messages. Unlike email, phone calls to the machine seen in the movie go through a relay service, an operator types for the deaf person and speaks to the hearing person. The hearing person doesn't need to own any special equipment, only a regular phone. Jack gives us some stupid horse pucky about wire tapping laws to explain why he thinks that the TDD is MORE confidential than discussing the murder on the phone.

Jack and Susan are alone in their penthouse one night when a ninja-type breaks in. He confronts Jack first and then Susan walks in on him as he is setting the place on fire. She escapes but, the next morning, she finds out that she is the prime suspect in Jack's murder. She also discovers that Jack has emptied her bank account. Now she is on the run with very little money and only the clothes on her back which is a very slinky blue dress which looks smashing on her and matching blue undies which look even more smashing. But where the heck is that tattoo??

Now this is when things start getting complicated. The important thing is that Susan disguises herself and gets a job with the relay service -- after all, one of the operators at the relay service knows all about Jack, the murder, and the blackmail. At the relay service she is hired by a very purse-lipped lady and reports to a very cute guy named Todd, played by Anthony Natale. In what is the best scene in the movie, Susan's supervisors decide to monitor her next call to make sure she is doing a good job. The next call is between Calvin Stasi played by Eric Roberts and District Attorney Beth McDaniels, played by Marlee Matlin and they have phone sex with everybody listening. I laughed until I cried!

Here's a picture of Rachel listing to Eric saying naughty things. Rachel Hunter is a beautiful supermodel and there were a couple scenes of her in the slinky blue dress and also two scenes in the tiny blue underwear. She looked so good that I wasn't even jealous -- only appreciative, as I might be of a great sunset. However, during the rest of the movie they made her look as if she had on no makeup and had her wear an awful black wig. At least I hope it was a wig! I hope they didn't do that to her real hair! I realize that she was supposed to be disguised but I don't see the point of hiring a gorgeous supermodel and then having a team of makeup people work themselved to exhaustion making her look drab. She could have been disguised AND gorgeous, no?

I have gotten email from someone who knows a lot about hair and wigs and it is confirmed by the director's commentary on the DVD that they did that bad dye job on Rachel Hunter's real hair. Aaarrrgghhh!

Calvin intends to do bad stuff to Susan. As a matter of fact, he has a whole list of people he intends to do bad stuff to. This is his evil leer. Eric seemed to be enjoying himself alot in this role -- all slick and confident. I was convinced that Calvin really could manipulate women to do what he wanted them to do. I wasn't asking "How could they fall for this line?" I was saying "Oh, he looks good!"

What other movie do you remember that shows the villian putting a sharp crease in his Dockers? I saw both Two Shades of Blue and La Cucaracha this week and there was a big difference in Eric's wardrobe!

I read in some other review that Two Shades of Blue is Marlee Matlin's steamiest movie to date. I was a little worried that Eric and Marlee Matlin being in the same movie together might remind me of It's My Party but this scene didn't at all. I mean, he doesn't look gay and she doesn't look like his sister. As a matter of fact, a little later the scene gets even steamier than this photo shows. How many of you saw three breasts? There was an equally steamy scene with Calvin and Susan. What a naughty naughty boy! Is that an appendix scar? Looked a little low and on the outside to me.

Now, I must say that I was a little disappointed in the "director's commentary" that is on the DVD version of this movie. When they got to the sex scene with Calvin and Susan, they suddenly sounded weird. They said something about Rachel Hunter not having much experience with sex scenes and the rest of it was sort of garbled in a funny stumbling voice. (It was that voice that Mrs. Bartholomew used back in sixth grade when she was saying "All boys want is ...uh...uh...well...uh...") Then the director said something like "Well, this scene speaks for itself." No, it doesn't. I have even more questions about this scene than all the other scenes put together. I could send them a list. How many of you thought Eric had three hands?

Here is Calvin getting the drop on Susan. For all you people who are interested in every little detail, Eric is holding the gun in his right hand.

Now Eric has the drop on both Susan and her supervisor, Todd, played by Anthony Natale. As if Susan didn't have enough complications in her life, she has gotten personally involved with her supervisor at work. On the other hand, Todd is very cute and he was doing his best to rescue her. Unfortunately, Todd had no idea how much trouble Susan was in and Calvin had a really big gun. Doesn't look good for Todd.

Todd was cute so I decided to go in for the closeup.
This is Eric hiding behind the sofa. Those are feathers from the expensive feather sofa cushions that have fallen victim to stray bullets during what turned out not to be the final shootout after all. But to tell you all about the final shootout would be a spoiler which I prefer not to do.

To sum up, the story was lame. Eric looks great and Calvin was probably the most convincing character. Anthony Natale is cute and also pretty convincing as Todd -- I would be happy to see him in more movies. The effort to make Rachel Hunter look plain didn't work -- we weren't fooled for a minute. Gary Busey is so short that he looked like he was co-starring in "Attack of the 50-foot Woman." I found Jack's sister, Gwen, (played by Patsy Pease) really really annoying. Watch this movie for Eric, Anthony Natale, Rachel Hunter and the phone sex.

If anyone knows what happened to that tattoo, please let me know.