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Hiya Bubbas and Bubbettes!
Roving reporter,
Kutten Paste here! I got a hot lead today from
a source who shall remain nameless (don't
mind that picture over there).It seems as though a couple of the
40's gals
were deemed unfit to order from a menu that
did not require speaking into a clown's face.
I caught up with them in
the 40's Paltalk room.
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"Ah
thweer ah can
order me up some
vittles jest the way
mah mama taught
me ta do."...Bubbette
Luv
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"Whaat she be
sayin's is bout how
ah feels too. Mah
mama done taught
me some of dem
dare manners."...Bubbette
Texy
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"Well,
slap mah mama
silly! That dang Zipn's
bout shoved his whole
dang foot in his mouth!"...Bubba Tall
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"Ain't no dang way
I'm gonna listen to
this chit. Somebody
buy my azz a drink!"...Bubbette
Gayle
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"Ack!
Don't you be
talkin' bout my girls
like that!"...Bubbette
MO
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"Hey you! I knows
these
gals got more class than
that. They be havin' indoor
plumbin' and those freezer
boxes! Hell, just look at
these pictures!"...Bubbette
Pink
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"That Zipn dude don't
know what he bees
talkin' bout. Them
ladies order up nicely
from my rest-e-rant
all the dad gum time!
Hey, ah'm off to visit
White Trash Jac!"...Bubba Ghost
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"You
back off'n mah
girlfriends! They be
cookin' up goodies
lahk Possum Stew
and Crawfish Cake
fer tha trailer park!
Cain't get much
classier than that!"...Bubbette D3
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"What wuz tha
question?
Dayum that Bubbette up
thar is one hot mama!"...Bubba Tony
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"Yo Mr.
Reporter! How
bout you report mah
boobie size stead of
them broads'es eatin'
habits!"...Bubbette
Traffic
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"Honey, we call it
a rosebud, not a
boobie."...Bubbette
Mysto
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"Ah
done tole that
Bubba Zip I wuz
feelin' trigger
happy!"...Bubba
@RoomHost
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"Hey Kutten, you's
cute. Now give me
a fukn donut and
bring me my dang
mule."...Bubbette
Audra
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"Hale,
ah don't knows
nuttin bout them gals'
restaurant skills, but
when they calls me
on the teleephone,
they never say nuttin!"...Bubbette Elm
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"Why won't someone
ask me what's under
me kilt?"...Bubba
IPM
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"Kuutnn
sho me yaa
nkeid piic i wnao f kuc
ya noww!"(Translation:
Kutten, show
me your naked pic. I want
to fug you now!")
...Bubbette
Lulu
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"Yikes!" ...Bubba Rusler
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"Hey, I
ain't eaten with
them girls, but they
done bought some
a mah extree large
baskets for dem holes
out backa thar trailer!"...Bubbette
Giggle
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"Don't look at us. We
don't be havin time to
worry bout nuffin wid
all these rugrats poopin
thar diapers. We just
squirted down Junior
with tha garden hose."...Bubba Mars
and
Bubbette Mist
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"Catch
me after ah
put my lil ones down
for a nap. I got mah
eye on you, big boy."...Bubbette
Penny
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"Dem gals is peachy.
They always be bringin
fresh vittles from tha
Roadkill Cafe when dey
come watch football on
mah 13 inch wide screen
teleevision set."...Bubbette SPF
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"What
you askin' me
stuff for? They all
think I'm friggin crazy.
'Sides, I gotta make a
imaginary sandwich
fer mah imaginary
daughter."...Bubbette
Sunrise
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"Hiya big boy! Finish
that report and cum on
bah mah place. Ah'll fix
ya up some chittlin's,
then show yew why
everyone loves white
trash. Jest don't be tellin'
mah boy toy, Bubba Ghost!"...White Trash
Jac
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"Ah
loves mah girlfriends!
They always be right
gracious when they come
to tha clinic fer their shots.
And Chef Bubba done tole
me they can read that dang
menu ever time!"...Bubbette
Nurse Snowy
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"Yew wanna pray? Go
find another Sista! Ah'm
too busy downloadin'
the newest 'Devil Be Gone'
software fer all these
trailer park exorcisms."...Sista Heart
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"Ah
ain't never arrested dem
gals fer nuffin'. They always
be ladies. But that Bubbette
Traffic is 'nother story. She
bees flashin' me all da dad
gum time so I gots ta keep
her cuffed!"...Bubba
Cop Respond
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"Hey Kutten, glad ya
found
me. I spend mah days sloppin'
dem hogs and recording da
turkey gobbles. But ah wanted
ta tell you that dem gals is a
hootin and a hollerin all hours
of da dang night! Oh, how does
I know? I ain't sayin' chit!"...Bubbette
Ohio
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"Hi
Kutten! I'm the trailer park
school marm. Our curriculum
includes 'Fitting in with the
Outside World / Reading a
Menu 101' so I can vouch
for these ladies."...School Marm
Anna
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"I only go out with
them
gals when they bees
wantin to drink dat dare
fancy booze. They like
ta balance their glasses
on all mah piercings.
They tell me ah gots
holes in mah head."...Bubbette
Just
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"Yo
dude! I don't hang
with them two twits. Hale,
I's only hang with mah
relatives. That's wha they
calls me Cousinfocker,
Unclefocker, Auntfocker,
Brotherfocker and more."...Bubba Focker
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Send
yore sweetie pie
a right nice love pome!
Redneck Love Poem
Ah
gots it from Bubbette D3.
Ain't she sweet as molasses?
You, too, can be a redneck! Fill out the
application below!
Name:________ Nickname: Bubba_______
Skeeter_______ Other____
Can you spell your name correctly? Sometimes______ Never_____
With Help_____
Current Addess:________________ Number of Months Behind on
Rent:_______
Neck Shade: Light Red_____ Medium Red_____ Dark Red_____
Peeling_____
Number of Teeth in full grin: 1___ 2___ 3___ More?_______
Approximate size and weight of beer belly:___________
Brand of Beer____ Brand of Chewing Tobacco:_________ Brand of
Snuff:______________
Make of Pick-up truck:________ Size of Tires:________ 4 Wheel
Drive?__
Number of Months Behind on Payments:__________ Does it have
doors?_____
Altitude of Running Boards: 3'______ 6'______ 12'______ 16'______
Number of Empty Beer Cans Under the Seat:________ Broken
Windows?_______
Is Truck Appropriately Equipped with the following?
-- 8 track Hank Williams tapes: ___________
-- Pit bull: __________
-- Air Horns: __________
-- Roll Bar: __________
-- Steer Horns on hood: __________
-- Musical horn that plays "Dixie&qquot; __________
-- "David Duke For President" bumber sticker __________
-- "BOCEHPUS" bumper sticker ___________
-- Red Man chewing tobacco bumper stickeer __________
-- I love grits bumper sticker ___________
-- "America, Love it or Leave it&quuot; bumper sticker
__________
-- Desert Srorm bumper sticker ___________
-- 12 foot CB antenna __________
-- Illegaly altered 1 gigawatt CB transmmitter __________
-- Spitoon __________
-- Mudflaps __________
-- Curb Feelers __________
-- Shot Guns in back window __________
How many of the following items are in your front yard: (working
or not)
-- Gardens made of old tires (tractor orr truck) __________
-- Trucks or cars __________
-- Chickens or goats __________
-- Household appliances __________
-- Old Trailers __________
-- Bath Tubs __________
-- TV sets __________
Describe your last Elvis
sighting:________________________________
Have you ever taken a date to a tractor pull?___ Hog calling
contest?___
Do you own any of the following? Fertilizer hat?____ Feed
hat?_______
Shoes?______ Belt buckles that way more than three
pounds?_____________
If so: Have you worn them to Funerals_____ Weddings______
Church_______
Job Interviews________ Fancy restaurants like Dennys's?__________
Do you bathe with: Soap_______ Relatives________ Small
animals_______
How often? Weekly______ Monthly______ Once a year_____ Twice a
year____
Have you ever been shot at by: Ay-rabs___ Gooks___ Angry
Husbands______
Wives_____ Fathers-in-law______ Mothers-in-law________ The
Law_______
Does your wife weigh more than or less than: Your guitar___ Your
truck__
Have you seen her in the past: Two weeks____ Two months____ Two
years__
Have you seen her when she wasn't: Pregnant____ Barefoot____
Mad______
Have you ever stayed sober for a whole weekend:_____________
If you have had someone read all the above questions to you and
you have completely understood them then place an "X"
on the line below.
________________ Witness
Signature________________________________
Thanks Lulu
ROADKILL CAFE MENU
You
Kill It, We Grill It!
Chef Bubba
---ENTREES---
- Center Line Bovine 4.95
- The Chicken 3.95
- Flat Cat 2.95
- Thumper-on-the-bumper
3.95
- Slab of Lab 2.95
- Rack of Raccoon 3.95
Taste of The Wild Side
- Pit Bull Pot Pie 1.95
- Smear of Deer 4.95
"Still in The
Hide"
- Cocker Cutlets 3.95
- Awesome Possum 1.95
- Shar-Pei Fillet 5.95
- Cheap Sheep $ .43
- Chunk of Skunk 1.95
- Snippet of Wippet 4.50
- Smidgen Pigeon 1.95
- Road Toad 1.65
- Collie Hit By A Trolley
3.95
That Mess!
A Daily Special Treat
- Snake 2.25
- German Shepherd Pie
3.95
- Swirl Squirrel 1.55
- Rigor Mortis Round of
Hound 4.25
- Tortoise 6.75
---Side Orders---
- Bowl of Mole .38 Splat
of Cat .45 Square of Hare .68
- Link of Mink 1.07 Spoon
of Coon .32 Gizzard of Lizard .98
- Platter of Bladder .48
Squish of Fish .13 Pinch of Finch 1.37
- Broth of Moth .17 Fork
of Stork .21 Hurled of Squirrel .96
- Chin of Hen .03
---From The Bar, Your
Drink is our Delight!---
RoadKill
Basic Recipe
Rules of The RoadKill
1. Freshness is
always the rule (if it's still there on your way home, it's too
late).
2. Semi-squashed is much better than squashed; anything clobbered
by an 18-wheeler is absolutely undesirable.
3. Blacktop surfaces are much preferred over dirt roads; concrete
is a gourmet's delight.
4. Remember the early bird catches the....ah, worm!
Road
Chicken
- One, 4 lb. (your
Favorite RoadKill) (boned and cubed)
- One, large onion
- Two cloves garlic
- 1/2 tsp. cayenne
pepper
- 1 tbs. Chile powder
- 1 can beer
- 2 beef bullion cubes
Saute
RoadKill until tender. Add onion, cook until onion is
translucent. Add the rest of the seasonings, mix well and add
beer and bullion cubes. Cook 10 - 12 minutes on medium heat.
SANDY's
SPECIALS!
One breast
of Buzzard - with or with out Feathers .... $10.00.
Slab of Lab .... $7.50 per pound.
LISA's
DINNER SPECIAL, ONLY ON THURSDAYs!
Poodles and Noodles ... $1.25.
This page was a
collaberative effort between
Luv, Texy, Ghost and Pink
Back to Forties
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