HANNIBAL
Break out the fava beans, uncork the Chianti, serve up the lamb chops cause mama Lecter's little boy is back, and, dare I say, better than before.
By Sam Tannous

: : : Our Rating : : :

Ten years ago, Silence of the Lambs thrilled audiences, becoming the third movie, and first in 15 years, to sweep the major Oscar categories. So how do you possibly top that when you've lost your original director, Oscar winning actress, producer, and are working from material that has been panned by every critic who speaks English?

Well first, you go out and get yourself a better director in Ridley Scott, who should win the Best Directing Oscar for 2000's Gladiator, an award-winning actress who looks like Jodie Foster (if you squint) in Julianne Moore, and you change the part of the book everyone hated (Clarice and Lecter living happily ever after in Chile. What the Sam Hill was the man thinking?)

We start the movie watching Clarice in action, hunting down a drug-trafficking HIV-positive mother-of-the-year type who runs around with her kid in one hand and an Uzi in the other. Needless to say, things don't go as planned and Clarice gets into a bit of hot water with her FBI bosses. Enter overly wealthy, and remarkably creepy, Mason Verger.

Verger is Lecters only surviving victim, having had his face cut off and fed to hungry dogs. Played by an unrecognizable Gary Oldman, who is doing his best Jimmy Stewart impression, Verger has one thought: to catch Hannibal and feed him to that vicious man-eating monster, the pig. It seems that he has bred a group of boars to feed on any man-shaped object that screams. Confused? Pigs aren't for breakfast any more. After watching this movie, and the movie Snatch (see review) I don't give bacon a second thought. I urge my Jewish and Muslim brothers to cook up the sausage patties; its us or them! But I digress.

Verger uses his clout to get Clarice out of trouble, and onto the Hannibal Lecter case, hoping to flush him out into the open. In the mean time, Hannibal has been living the good life in Italy, where he has taken over a library from a recently deceased professor. All would be well for him were it not for some pesky cop trying to investigate the death of the deceased professor. Well apparently Hannibal should have gotten a face-lift as this cop recognizes him from the FBI's Ten Most Wanted list. Rather than call the FBI, he calls the guy offering a $3 Million reward, Mason Verger.

How the rest of it plays out will be up to you to find out. I will say that this kept me on the edge of my seat for its two-hour span. Do not get the 30-ounce soda unless you are extremely confident in yourself, as you do not want to get up and miss a second of this movie.