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I am a 24 year old canadian born and bred since 1980. My mother is Plains Cree Native American or Red Indian and my father is of French ancestry. This makes me a special kind of half breed commonly known as Metis. If you wish to learn more about the Metis people please click here This also makes me a person who was raised to respect two seperate belief systems. The Native American belief and the Catholic belief. This is one of the factors that allows me to open my mind to new ideas. It also gives me experience with two very different languages and cultures. To me the term Metis means bridge. The Metis people bridge two languages two cultures and somehow made from that one that is distincly Metis. With this unique background I was able to meet my husband. We are married now since the end of June, 2004. He is from Pakistan and I from Canada. The cultural differences do make for alot of hard times but Inshallah we will learn from our mistakes and learn to be more tolerant.
Hello and Salam Alaikum to all my brothers and sisters of planet earth. Here I put the entirity of my Journey to Islam. My reasoning and thoughts as I progressed. Here, Inshallah your own eyes will be opened. In this place I will put my thoughts, my joys, and my sorrows. This is the long and the short of my own personal journey to becoming a Muslim.
Its not a fancy story. Just about a girl who got bored and wanted to do something different. You see about three years ago she was in MSN Chat in the Lobby where most of the new chatters go. She met only a few people she liked but it was boring. So in a desperate bid to find out why people like the internet she decided to get a hobby and talk with other people who are interested in the same thing. She was interested in religion. That is how she came into that section of MSN Chat. There she found many other Christians but they seemed not religious persons, others being too much so that any conversation with these people became annoying. So in another attempt to kill the boredom she was looking through the list of chatrooms. And there was a room with exactly 13 people inside called Islam!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Well that was the place to be for sure! And 13 people! What a great number to start talking to these strange people. And so week after week after week whenever she saw a room called Islam with 13 people she was there. She never talked. She only sat and listened. Then one day the host of that room said hello, and I was invited to speak. That was the start of a whole new experience. Although none of those Muslims were scholars they had enthusiasm to teach me and I was willing to learn. A year later although still Christian I was made into a host. I had gathered around me strong positive Muslims. I thank all of them even those I didn't like for everything that happened in those years. On May 11, 2004 in the morning hours I took Shahada in a Mosque on a street I cannot remember. With people whose names I may never know. That is my story.
Of course there is more to it then that. This is the story I use whenever I am asked. Here I will further elaborate the story and Inshallah the picture will become clearer.
I left out some parts for no real reason just that I didn't feel like including them in the story. You see I wasn't exactly quiet as I went to the Islam rooms numbered 13. I went in and said hello to each and every person who spoke. Then I would say nothing and sit there for hours just reading what they said. This made me both known and unknown. I believe I learned the most from those days when I was silent. The situation changed and didn't when that host first PM'd me. I remember that he noticed my silence. It touched me to see that a total stranger would notice anything about me. He told me I can speak. Maby its silly but I had thought it was bad for me to speak. After that I would speak sometimes but I still kept my silence most of the time. After time I began to speak more and to know which people had some knowledge and which of them didn't have anything.
I noticed things in that first year. I noticed whenever a new Muslim would come they would all celebrate and then after he/she leaves they would say "they only came because of 9-11" like it was some bad thing for these new Muslims to show interest in Islam for that reason. In fact it was like they did not consider them to be real Muslims at all but mere imposters. The false celebrations only made these persons look worse and hence became a picture of Islam for me. I once complained that most of these I see do not act what they preach. At that point I was told not to judge the religion on its people because people are less than perfect. This was a great lesson and it was one of the deciding factors in my own acceptance of Islam.
I also came upon a group of sisters who had a difference of opinion with the other Muslims. They explained to me that Islam provides Muslims with a complete book called the Quran. That this book is the final revelation and that other revelations are not needed. They also explained to me about hadith. I came to the conclusion that this hadith is not needed if the Quran is supposed to be so complete. They totally agreed with me. That opinion did change after more observations. I felt those sisters were teaching wrong and it didn't take long for me to leave them.
It took me approximately one and a half years to decide that Islam is in fact something I wanted. In fact I did say Shahada at the time but did not announce it to my family. I call this my "none practising years" meaning I was Muslim in my heart but not in my actions. I have my reasons for being none practicing but I won't explain it here. Suffice it to say I was scared of my family and I had and still have no confidence in my brothers and sisters of Islam. I do not claim to have been Muslim since that time. In my mind I became a full Muslim the day I started acting like one... May 2004.
Of course there is more to it then that. This is the story I use whenever I am asked. Here I will further elaborate the story and Inshallah the picture will become clearer.
I left out some parts for no real reason just that I didn't feel like including them in the story. You see I wasn't exactly quiet as I went to the Islam rooms numbered 13. I went in and said hello to each and every person who spoke. Then I would say nothing and sit there for hours just reading what they said. This made me both known and unknown. I believe I learned the most from those days when I was silent. The situation changed and didn't when that host first PM'd me. I remember that he noticed my silence. It touched me to see that a total stranger would notice anything about me. He told me I can speak. Maby its silly but I had thought it was bad for me to speak. After that I would speak sometimes but I still kept my silence most of the time. After time I began to speak more and to know which people had some knowledge and which of them didn't have anything.
I noticed things in that first year. I noticed whenever a new Muslim would come they would all celebrate and then after he/she leaves they would say "they only came because of 9-11" like it was some bad thing for these new Muslims to show interest in Islam for that reason. In fact it was like they did not consider them to be real Muslims at all but mere imposters. The false celebrations only made these persons look worse and hence became a picture of Islam for me. I once complained that most of these I see do not act what they preach. At that point I was told not to judge the religion on its people because people are less than perfect. This was a great lesson and it was one of the deciding factors in my own acceptance of Islam.
I also came upon a group of sisters who had a difference of opinion with the other Muslims. They explained to me that Islam provides Muslims with a complete book called the Quran. That this book is the final revelation and that other revelations are not needed. They also explained to me about hadith. I came to the conclusion that this hadith is not needed if the Quran is supposed to be so complete. They totally agreed with me. That opinion did change after more observations. I felt those sisters were teaching wrong and it didn't take long for me to leave them.
It took me approximately one and a half years to decide that Islam is in fact something I wanted. In fact I did say Shahada at the time but did not announce it to my family. I call this my "none practising years" meaning I was Muslim in my heart but not in my actions. I have my reasons for being none practicing but I won't explain it here. Suffice it to say I was scared of my family and I had and still have no confidence in my brothers and sisters of Islam. I do not claim to have been Muslim since that time. In my mind I became a full Muslim the day I started acting like one... May 2004.
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I find that alot of people do not like what is different and new. And being a new Muslim is definitely in that category. I can give so may examples of mistreatment of new Muslims. The story above is definatly the saddest one I know of. It is sad because her parents handled her conversion really well. They acted like grown ups. They knew there daughter was growing up. They didn't lock her up, or beat her. They didn't try to make her renounce Islam. What makes this story so sad is that there was absolutly no reason that those "born Muslim" sisters should treat her like an annoyance. New Muslims are not an annoyance. They are not people to gossip about.
Of all the stories I have heard of new Muslims not getting any help the one above isn't that bad. There are new Muslims both men and women who have it worse. It is these stories I hear of the most. Of new sisters and brothers being abused by there family. Of isolation and even exorcisms. This is despicable on the part of our Ummah that these people are stuck in mentally and physically abusive situations with no help from their new Islamic family. It is in my very strong opinion that with each time there is a new Muslim there should be a group of Muslims who will visit that person every day. You can take turns with the visit. There needs to be a support system for our new brothers and sisters. Someone to defend against the distraught families involved. And if abuse occures there is some way to remove our new brother or sister from that situation. And last but certainly not least, a friend! Sometimes just having someone to talk with can make a world of difference.
Of all the stories I have heard of new Muslims not getting any help the one above isn't that bad. There are new Muslims both men and women who have it worse. It is these stories I hear of the most. Of new sisters and brothers being abused by there family. Of isolation and even exorcisms. This is despicable on the part of our Ummah that these people are stuck in mentally and physically abusive situations with no help from their new Islamic family. It is in my very strong opinion that with each time there is a new Muslim there should be a group of Muslims who will visit that person every day. You can take turns with the visit. There needs to be a support system for our new brothers and sisters. Someone to defend against the distraught families involved. And if abuse occures there is some way to remove our new brother or sister from that situation. And last but certainly not least, a friend! Sometimes just having someone to talk with can make a world of difference.
I said Shahada by mistake at one time perhaps three or four months into my study and observation of Islam. This of course counts for nothing because I had absolutely no knowledge of what it really meant. I am sure I am on that persons list. The one who told me to say the words. Here I would like to advise all Muslims to not make any list and to never brag about how many people you helped bring to Islam. It is not you a mere human who brings these people to Islam but the divine decree of Allah. We the new Muslims would have become Muslims with or without you. It could have been any person who explained those things or made us repeat the Shahada after you. I, for one, give no single person credit for my accepting Islam. I place this great blessing in thankfullness to Allah. Without his drecree, that I would take this road, I would not be where I am today.
I am part of a group of new Muslimahs that are despised. We are the ones gossiped about and hated by young and old alike. I totally reciprocate the feeling. You see we are the ones put into a group that they call "converting to Islam to marry a Muslim". This means, we the ones in this group, are not even real Muslims but fakes, liars, imposters, and a disease on Islam. This is how Muslims view me. I don’t really blame them. The only problem is, that I am not what they accuse me of. I am a Muslim for myself only. Never mind trying to tell this fact to a person who already hates me. The math does add up. Converted to Islam in May and married in June. Its obvious to them why I call myself a Muslim. Not so obvious to me. Allow me to explain...
I knew three years before converting that "born Muslims" disliked the new reverts. And so in knowing this I also knew that I would not receive any help. I knew from the stories of those new to Islam that the families of these people were not accepting of there choice. So it is that I in fear of being too weak yet in my beliefs to stand up(alone) to my family that I decided I would not come out of the closet. I also found that after I had told a few of my (supposedly) trusted Muslim friends of my reversion to Islam that they no longer felt that I needed further teaching or maby they had nothing else to share. These factors further reinforced in me that I am not strong enough in my faith/iman. I see even today after three years of intensive study and observation that I yet know very little about Islam and still find myself asking questions that show my own weakness.
There is one new brother I knew who was asking the Imam for help and was practically told to stop being bothersome. This made me think. What will happen if I take Shahada? Well the answer is simple. I won't get any help from anyone even the Imam. So I made a grand plan. I would not convert/revert until I knew I had at least one person I can rely on totally to support me in everything. And so I went out on a new quest. It was a quest for a friend and I ended finding a husband. So really I'm not alone. I don’t need to search among people who don’t like me. It doesn’t matter my husband can teach me and push me and support me when I feel like falling. Yeah I'm sure there are so many that think I reverted to Islam for a man! Even my husband thinks that. And I did in a way. You see I wasn’t going to be one of those new Muslimahs who have no one. Who sit there alone with the family saying evil things. Me, I made a new family. and I’m so glad I did.
I knew three years before converting that "born Muslims" disliked the new reverts. And so in knowing this I also knew that I would not receive any help. I knew from the stories of those new to Islam that the families of these people were not accepting of there choice. So it is that I in fear of being too weak yet in my beliefs to stand up(alone) to my family that I decided I would not come out of the closet. I also found that after I had told a few of my (supposedly) trusted Muslim friends of my reversion to Islam that they no longer felt that I needed further teaching or maby they had nothing else to share. These factors further reinforced in me that I am not strong enough in my faith/iman. I see even today after three years of intensive study and observation that I yet know very little about Islam and still find myself asking questions that show my own weakness.
There is one new brother I knew who was asking the Imam for help and was practically told to stop being bothersome. This made me think. What will happen if I take Shahada? Well the answer is simple. I won't get any help from anyone even the Imam. So I made a grand plan. I would not convert/revert until I knew I had at least one person I can rely on totally to support me in everything. And so I went out on a new quest. It was a quest for a friend and I ended finding a husband. So really I'm not alone. I don’t need to search among people who don’t like me. It doesn’t matter my husband can teach me and push me and support me when I feel like falling. Yeah I'm sure there are so many that think I reverted to Islam for a man! Even my husband thinks that. And I did in a way. You see I wasn’t going to be one of those new Muslimahs who have no one. Who sit there alone with the family saying evil things. Me, I made a new family. and I’m so glad I did.
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I tried only two times in my almost seven months as a practising Muslim to enter a Mosque. Only to find there is no women’s section. This really surprised me. I had not predicted this strange event. It made me angry. It embarrassed me. After so much effort to kill the fear and practically drag myself to the Mosque only to find out I’m not wanted there. Well that was the icing on the cake. I don’t mean icing or cake in a good way. First thing I did after swallowing my tears was talk to a friend about it. So I went to the computer, this is where I keep my friends, and I complained. I was told it is best for women to pray at home. That by doing this the woman gets more rewards. I suppose that was supposed to calm me down but it didn’t. I accepted it of course. My friend did show me proof. I haven’t been to a Mosque since and I don’t plan to do so for at least a year. At the same time my husband wants to go to hajj. That is the ultimate in scary. I cant even enter a regular Mosque and he is talking about taking a trip like that!
Today I can recite six Surahs, Mashallah, and I wear hijab even if I have no idea how I'm supposed to wear it. I figure as long as the hair is covered I got the most important part right. I feel more confident in my belief although I am not at the level where I can help another find the true Islam. Perhaps with this I can wake up those who can, so they will go out and help all the slaves of Allah. I implore all the "born Muslims" and the reverts who have that skill, to go to their local revert and be a friend. I see only celebration when a new Muslim joins and then there is nothing. The new Muslims are automatically supposed to understand everything. This is a false assumption. Something you consider to be so basic is not known by every single new Muslim. Do not stop teaching them. The lessons will never end.
This is the story of a Muslim revert of 2 ½ years. An only child of a strict catholic family, she was protected. Never having friends because none were "catholic" enough. Her only friends were her parents. The summer before going to college she began to read about Islam. The week before going to collage she took Shahada at a Mosque. Everyone was happy for her. This is when the story gets ugly. The sisters there promised to teach her how to pray. That never happened. Eight sisters asked for her phone number but never phoned.
The story goes on like this for 2 ½ years. The few instances she was helped are few and far between. The new revert dreams of having a Muslim roommate. Only to have this dream crushed because she is not good enough to live with another Muslim sister. She uses the word discriminating to describe her treatment by the other sisters.
After 2 ½ years of this treatement a change finally happens in the form of six new faces. These six new sisters of the same family took the young revert into there home. They gave her Islamic clothing and taught her four surahs to add to the four surahs she had memorized in her whole 2 ½ years before.
The sister implores all of you "SISTERS/BROTHERS PLEASE INVITE PEOPLE OVER TO YOUR HOUSES IF YOU HAVE A CHANCE. LOVE ALL PEOPLE THE SAME. Don’t be rude and disrespectful. We are all sisters/brothers in Islam."
The story goes on like this for 2 ½ years. The few instances she was helped are few and far between. The new revert dreams of having a Muslim roommate. Only to have this dream crushed because she is not good enough to live with another Muslim sister. She uses the word discriminating to describe her treatment by the other sisters.
After 2 ½ years of this treatement a change finally happens in the form of six new faces. These six new sisters of the same family took the young revert into there home. They gave her Islamic clothing and taught her four surahs to add to the four surahs she had memorized in her whole 2 ½ years before.
The sister implores all of you "SISTERS/BROTHERS PLEASE INVITE PEOPLE OVER TO YOUR HOUSES IF YOU HAVE A CHANCE. LOVE ALL PEOPLE THE SAME. Don’t be rude and disrespectful. We are all sisters/brothers in Islam."
A nicely written article that shows proofs and explains a common problem Muslimahs face when trying to pray at a mosque or masjid. She tells of several instances where she was banned from entering on the excuse that there just "wasnt room" for women in this masjid. The Prophet, aleyhi salatu wa salaam, specifically forbad keeping women from the masjid, therefore no one is going to come right out and say that they bar women from entering. "We don't have room" becomes code for "We don't want you here. Go home." She also talks of being railed at by brothers saying "that women have no place in the masjid, and that we(women) were a fitna [a trial, calamity or affliction] upon the brothers." She wrote a letter giving reasons from Quran and Sunnah about this to the masjid, she was then labled a "radical feminist" This article asks "Is anti-feminism so ingrained in our community now that any speech for the rights of women should be dismissed, even when that speech comes directly from Allah and His Messenger?"
The article challenges Muslim brothers by saying "that while the Prophet, aleyhi salatu wa salaam, told the woman that the prayer in her home is better for her, he did not forbid her from coming to the masjid at all. In fact, we know that the contrary is true, that he forbad men from preventing women to go to the masjid, as seen in the ahadith cited at the top of the page. If you are in a masjid that does not have a space for women, you are preventing them from entering this masjid. If you stand by while another brother tells a woman to go home, you are preventing her from entering the masjid. Do you really want to take that position?"
The article shows several ways to make sure there is always room for women in even the smallest masjid. It suggests anything from a curtain at the back of the room to decorative screens to cubicle walls. The article also makes suggestions for larger masjids such as making sure the floor is clean in the womens area and providing change tables in the bathrooms. The article states "When you ensure that women are included in the masjid, you are ensuring that the entire community has access to the teachings of Islam. You are showing none Muslims that Islam does not stand for the exclusion of women and children, that Islam is not a "man's religion." You are showing none Muslims that a woman can be modest, can be religious, and can still participate in community life."
The article challenges Muslim brothers by saying "that while the Prophet, aleyhi salatu wa salaam, told the woman that the prayer in her home is better for her, he did not forbid her from coming to the masjid at all. In fact, we know that the contrary is true, that he forbad men from preventing women to go to the masjid, as seen in the ahadith cited at the top of the page. If you are in a masjid that does not have a space for women, you are preventing them from entering this masjid. If you stand by while another brother tells a woman to go home, you are preventing her from entering the masjid. Do you really want to take that position?"
The article shows several ways to make sure there is always room for women in even the smallest masjid. It suggests anything from a curtain at the back of the room to decorative screens to cubicle walls. The article also makes suggestions for larger masjids such as making sure the floor is clean in the womens area and providing change tables in the bathrooms. The article states "When you ensure that women are included in the masjid, you are ensuring that the entire community has access to the teachings of Islam. You are showing none Muslims that Islam does not stand for the exclusion of women and children, that Islam is not a "man's religion." You are showing none Muslims that a woman can be modest, can be religious, and can still participate in community life."