Been a bit since I updated ... huh? Yeah. School's had me very busy lately. What with desperately trying to organize the CTRL - A ( anime club ), being the president and blah, and adjusting to a new schedule of sleep, among other things, time's been scarce.
Anything new in my life? Not really. I still take piano, started that up again ... And I've also started to take voice lessons. Cool, I guess. I'm currently taking a break from tae kwon do. With adjusting to much less sleep I can barely keep my eyes open outside of school - or even in school. It's tough, but I'm getting used to it.
Let's see .. I haven't been playing video games, nothing new online ... Other than what I just mentioned, there really isn't anything new. What a boring life. lol.
Last night, though, I forgot to take my medication and all of today I have felt like utter shit. To put it simply, it felt like my brain needed to vomit. It's the worst feeling in the world to have your entire body. centered at your head, feeling like ... beyond crap.
As for right now? I hate everything. I don't know why, but as soon as I started writing this entry I started to get pissed off and upset. I think it's because it's forced me to think about everything going on in my life and with school and colleges and SATs and my family life .. Things are really, really bad right now. My mother's driving me absolutely insane with colleges and studying for my SATs. She thinks that if I do better on them it'll be that much easier to get into my favourite college, Ursinus. My score right now is an 1130 without any previous studying, so a 1200 - 1300 will do me really good because I'll surpass Ursinus' expectations of their applicant. And because of those two things ( college and SATs ) we've been at each other's throats. And then my stepdad has been trying to intwine himself into my buisness and he tries to pick fights with me about it, too. One day I just want to tell him to fuck off. Maybe the day I move out.
And school has been okay ... My classes are good, but thinking about it now I can't help but have this paranoia that I'm really going to screw myself up this year. I hate school because it ruins me and drives me nuts with stress. Stupid, fucking school ...
I really, really don't feel good now. Physically and mentally. I feel sick and even that's pissing me off. I want to like, cut myself up like it'll make my body stop complaining. And mentally? I'm an entire mess of undesire, depression, and irritation. I'm so .. god, fuck everything. I don't even know, I'm just really pissed off at myself. Fuck me fuck me FUCK ME.
I don't even know why I bothered updating. Well, fuck that. I want to just hit my keyboard and scream .. God damnit.
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Tuesday, September 2nd 2oo3 :-: 18:10
Wow! The convention was absolutely fantastic. Since my slate was relativley clean of expectations the only thing I was ... was severely impressed. BAAF was only in its third year, so it was still small in the activity section. But it was still so much fun!
Needless to say, I had a lot of fun hunting down the cosplayers. There were SO MANY Inu Yashas it was enough to make my head spin ... Otherwise, there weren't too many 'players. I'll upload some pictures that I took of a few when I get the chance. I liked the cosplayers .. Haha. I chased this one Sephiroth down two flights of stairs and mauled him to take his picture. It was great! Next time, I am DEFINATELY COSPLAYING! I know exactly who I want to be, too. But I'll save that for when I upload her picture.
The dealer's room was also cool. I bought a few awesome artbooks. Two from CLAMP ( North and South ), and then one from ... PSO!! I was so happy! I found a PSO artbook! The pictures are breath - taking, naturally. They have a few of the proto designs and they're pretty funny. The RAmarls' pants are HUGE. I also found The Legend of Zelda manga. I was so insane when I saw them I wanted to cry. The artwork is BEAUTIFUL! I bought three: Two for Ocarina of Time and then one for Majora's Mask. They're in Japanese, so that's a downer, but the pictures are so great that I can tell what's going on, anyway. Not to mention I've already played both games ... And they follow the story relativley well. Ah .. The art, though ...
What else did I buy? The Chobits bunny plushi! And a UFO doll of Yuzuki from Chobits as well. I also bought two headbands. One that has "CERTAIN VICTORY!" written across it in Japanese, with their flag on it. Yeah .. And then I bought a headband/bandana of Naruto. The konoha-gakure no sato ... It's so cool. It's the Hidden Leaf clan, by the way. And then assorted manga. Like Love Hina, Shaman King, and FLCL ... And some 19 lapel pins. I love those. Bua ha ha.
Karen never tried out for the VA thing, and she regrets that, but oh well! Some of the people there were cool. What else .. We went to a few panels. Mainly cosplaying ones tha I dragged Karen to. And ... We wandered a lot. I never got to go to the video game room and kick some SSBM ass because of the line and the room was so small. I also played some Go. Heeehehe .. that was a lot of fun, too.
Karen and I also went to their dance things. Well, one of them. And we met some pretty cool people. A few Jrock cosplayers and then these two other girls that were really nice / fun. There were also these two other guys that .. Were kind of creepy. Nice, but shady .. So we ditched them. Sorta. More like avoided to all ends of the earth until they left us alone. Hahaha. And there was this one kid at the dance that did a flip over seven people lying down on the ground next to one another. He had a running start, duh .. But it was still friggin' awesome.
We didn't get to see many movies or anime because most of them were ones we'd seen, didn't want to see .. or coudn't make it to. The one movie, A Tree of Palme, was later on Sunday and we had to leave .. Wah. It was the only one we wantd to see too! We also missed the cosplay on broadway. Oh! There was this hilarious thing we did watched called Kaiju. Think live action Celebrity Death Match with mutated Pokemon. It was wrestling with monsters. Like Ham Sandwhich and Kung Fu Chicken Noodle Soup. Who were .. A ham sandwhich and can of soup. It was recorded, so we didn't actually see it live but yeah. Oh my god. It was so stupid that it was hilarious.
That's all I can think of at the moment ... Though it was quite a lot, hm? Just know that it was amazing and that I can't wait for my next convention.
On a lighter note, well .. actually it's a low note. Hah. I start school tomorrow. But I WILL be senior, and I won't have math ... So it should be good, hm? I still won't like waking up at 5:50 in the morning and trudging off to long seven - hour days. Not to mention homework and the stress of applying to colleges that I won't even bother getting into ... But yeah! I'll try to look at it positivley for now. It's the only thing I can do.
I can't believe it's September already. Time really flies, I guess. I'm not looking forward to the cold, or things dying and hibernating away. I will be glad to bid good riddens to the insects, though. Winter's not cool ... But I've gotta deal with fall first.
Well, I've wrote way too much. I'm sick of typing for now. Haha. So I'm gonna go play PSO or the piano or something ... Maybe even make myself dinner, hn? Alright then. Until I update again ~ .. Cheers.
P.S. I WILL finish updating some of these unfinished pages one day .. promise! Heh.
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Friday, August 29 2oo3 :-: 1:06
Lots of things to report today!
First of all, I recieved my yellow stripe in tae kwon do! It may not be much in perspective, but it's development and I am no longer on the bottom rung! That's so cool. Looking back I still don't think I'm that good but I'm having so much fun. That's corny, but hey ... Um, just hey.
Secondly, TODAY IS THE BIG APPLE ANIME FEST! In nine hours, it begins! Which means I really need to go to bed soon because I gotta get up at 5:30. Heh. I can always sleep in the car for the ( two hour ) ride, though. Karen is just as excited as me. I can't wait. It should be so much fun.
I also had a really weird dream last night. I don't have any time to explain it now but I will the next time I update, be sure of it. It was really cool. I liked it. Hehehe.
My eyes are slowly growing tired ...
Karen is going to enter the American Idol Voice Acting contest. I wish I was eighteen so I could enter it, too. But voice acting seems to be but a dream for me. I can hear Karen speak the words to herself softly in the background ... It's a passage from the manga Planet Ladder .. Very good manga. A little perplexing as the story evolves, but good. I hope Karen does okay. She's losing a little confidence but I think it's just her nerves. She'll do fine. I know it.
So I really don't have a lot of time to finish my update, I've grown quite tired and I'm ready to sleep for a few hours.
My heart is racing. I can't wait. Cheers.
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Wednesday, August 27 2oo3 :-: 1:12
Today wasn't very eventful. I sat around and didn't accomplish much, it kind of sucks, but it's only one day in my life.
I had tae kwon do class in the evening ... It was hard, but I learned a new defense technique that's really ... Mm, innovative. I like it. Hahaha. I really do love tae kwon do.
And .. A lot of people signed off early. So many people I know start school .. today. I don't for another week. Wow. I'm going to be a senior! That's cool, but incredibly nerve wrecking. So much to look forward to - and the beginning of the rest of my life to start deciding. I don't even want to get into that. I don't need to get depressed today.
So as I sit here, idly trying to entertain myself, time passes in light of the moon over the sky ... I think I'll go outside and enjoy the evening. There isn't anyone I need to talk to, anything to do ... I could use the time to really think. Maybe I'll update again afterwards. Until. Ciao ~
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Monday, August 25 2oo3 :-: 21:38
Through surfing various image sites and hoping to give myself some ( much ) needed inspiration, I came to the conclusion that I'm going through serious web design blockage. And so I decided I would lay off the blog again. But then I was reunited with DCorg - a fantastic and competant website with linkware layouts. I was skimming their selection, and discovered this one. I must say that I fell in love with this gorgeous layout. I can tell you that its theme speaks from the heart - my heart, and that the image is dazzling and incredible. But I expect nothing less of CLAMP ..
Anyway, this is going to be my layout until I can figure out just where I want to go next. So yeah. Back to work ...
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Monday, August 25 2oo3 :-: 2:03
This is just a temporary layout I'm using! Until I can make a new, better one for myself .. Because, well ...
Blah. I'm writing this out because it's gotten to a point where I need to update something. For whatever reason, I really need to write tonight. Right now ... This very moment.
Gah, and I need to blow my nose. I'm not crying, but .. man, that's kind of annoying. Hahaha.
So .. Hm. Life is just one big dilema, it seems. Throughout a series of ups and downs I guess you could say I've been riding the top of the wave recently. Cool. I've been generally happy these past few .. uhn, weeks? Every once in a while I stop to think about what's going on in Tsut's life. Yeah, I admit that. But I know that eventually I'll get over it and completely stop caring. That's for the best. Apparently, anyway.
It just kind of sucks that one can forget about someone that had been so important in their life in a matter of what, an hour? Blargh. Oh well.
Uhn .. on a light note, I've been so into PSO lately. Haha. And with my luck up I've been finding rares like happiness. And soon I'll have my Sato mag, I'm sure of it! I would still like to go online one day .. Maybe make a copy of my memory card. Curiosity can't kill the cat that's cautious.
Mm .. Life has been one big eyes closed, deep breath kind of moments. Smile! The world's watching you, right? Haha. I'm very happy right now. About nothing, but I am.
Oh yeah! And this past Saturday I tested for the next level in Tae Kwon Do! I was so nervous, but I think I did okay. Results won't be in for a while because of all of the students .. There were a lot testing for their blackbelt so I can imagine to sort through the test and written half ( that I won't have for a while! ) would take a while. But I'm sure I passed. I have to .. Oh! And Jim did a fantastic knife hand strike through four blocks of wood! It was amazing. I'm so happy for him - bet that impressed the judges. And I had a nice conversation with Paula. Tae Kwon Do is really great ... I'm so happy to have it in my life. Hehehe.
I feel like singing. I was on the phone with my friend Mike ( I know so many Mikes .. ) and I kept singing a lot. Just because. Singing is a lot of fun for me, I guess. And ever since I did the karaoke thing at my last family party my mother wants to get me voice lessons ... Cool, huh?
Neko's sleeping so soundly up against my torso .. Shes so cute. I love her to death. And I spent three hours earlier today cleaning out Camelot's cage and the basement - I hope he's okay. Hehe. Fluffy kitty love. lol.
Well, I think that's all I needed to report on. Otherwise there hasn't been much goin' on .. Buuuut .. Like I said, I'm happy and that's all that matters. Right now, though ... It's time for me to go to bed. I'm exhausted ~ Mm. May you walk in stars and in peace. Goodnight! And remember: Ganbede! Ganbede da yo~!
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Welcome to Courage. Born on September 3rd, 2002. It is owned by Gryphon, a 17 year-old girl who is completely in-love with the internet. Don't forget to sign the Tagboard below!
