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What's the Story, Mornin' Glory?
Showgirls
(1995)
Nomi Malone (Elizabeth Berkley) is hitchhiking her way to Vegas. Her dream is to become a real Vegas showgirl. 390 miles from Vegas she's picked up by a guy from Kansas who tells her his uncle may be able to get her a job as a showgirl. The guy ends up stealing her suitcase and leaving her stranded. She begins taking out her anger on a car in the parking lot. A woman, Molly Abrams (Gina Ravera) tries to get her off her car and after a violent struggle Nomi throws up. Molly takes Nomi to a fast food restaurant and tries to calm her down. After getting very little information out of Nomi, she tells her that she can stay with her until she gets on her feet.
Six weeks later Nomi is still living with Molly, she's gotten a job at Club Cheetah as a stripper, and is no closer to her dream of becoming a showgirl. Nomi finally gets her big break in a real show after performing a lap dance for the star of a Vegas show Cristal Connors (Gina Gershon) and her boyfriend Zack Carey (Kyle MacLachlan) at the Cheetah one night. Once she's made it Nomi finds herself doing things she never imagined while clawing her way to the top. Eventually she realizes that life at the top isn't all it's cracked up to be when things start spinning out of her control.
You Learn Something New Everyday...
 Good dancing is actually made up of violent spasms.
Jesus is coming soon.
Brown rice and veggies are worse than dog food.
Show people are full of rage.
Zing!
"It must be weird not having someone cum on you." -Al Torres, Nomi's ex-boss about her new job.
Survey SAYS...
I'll be honest with you boys and girls. Showgirls is a terrible, terrible, terrible, terrible movie. The characters were extremely unlikable and, I'd like to hope, unrealistic, the acting was amazingly bad, and the story-line was mostly disjointed. While 99% of the population probably savors their brain matter and doesn't enjoy squandering their brain cells on bad movies, I have to say I found Showgirls to be pure campy gold.
The most amusing part of this entire ordeal is that you know that these people were taking this movie 100% seriously and they thought they were making a ground breaking drama for the ages. What's even funnier? Jenny McCarthy was a strong contender for the part of Nomi Malone, but was dropped because it was discovered that McCarthy couldn't dance. Did anyone actually watch this movie with their eyes open? Elizabeth Berkley was not dancing as much as she was have seizures. I don't think that I've ever laughed so hard at a movie before. It's so funny how utterly unlikable the main characters are. Nomi is a complete and utter spaz. She freaks out and slams down everything at the slightest hint of an insult, but if you just tell her how awesome she is then she loves you.
There's so much wrong with this movie. There is not one redeeming quality about the main character. It doesn't make sense that a woman who just had someone thrashing violently at them would invite that person to live in their small trailer with them. Nomi starts a fight and then gets a guy fired from his job and he's running all over town trying to get her. Everyone seems to think that Nomi is this amazing dancer with an animalistic fervor to it, but I've seen a girl drunk beyond belief hump a pole with more rhythm. It was funny to me that they suddenly revealed her past at the end. At that point I don't think anyone really cared who she was. Either, you were ready for the movie to end or were hypnotized by all the boobies. I realize now that they were hinting about her past the whole time, but I didn't even notice.
Showgirls would have gotten a much higher rating if they didn't do that last desperate attempt to be taken seriously as a drama. Not only was it completely out of left field, it was obvious that they couldn't think of any other way to end the movie. Also, for having such a "shady" past and being this supposed "tough girl", I think that singer in the end didn't get it that bad. Oh well. The number one thing about Showgirls that you need to remember is that you can't take it seriously. When I popped Showgirls in the DVD player I was expecting the worst movie ever, but what I came out with was pure comedic genius. Yeah, the acting is terrible. Yes, this is a soft-core porn. However, something about this movie tickled me. I think this is a love it or hate it kind of movie. If you can appreciate campiness then you'll be amused. If you can't, well, be prepared to waste about two hours of your life that even all boobies couldn't help. So, if you like monkeys who poo on stage, misquoting Elvis, boobie touching, underwater blow jobs, man ass, and the mispronunciation of rich labels, then this is the flick for you. As for us, we give Showgirls:
That Wasn't so Bad Was It?
I was left Feeling: Amused
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