Week 13 Newsletter

Letter from the Commish:

So here it is. With two weeks left, no team has clinched a playoff berth. That seems to be the case most seasons (PMS and Natural Mystics in ’97 excepted as they were true powerhouses in weak divisions). With that in mind, here’s the possible scenarios for all involved:

• In the Dewey division, it’s a two team race between the Greenback Iguanas and the King of Dogs. The Dogs trail by one game but play the Iguanas this week. An Iguanas win clinches the division. A win by the Dogs ties the division BUT gives the tiebreaker to the Dogs by virtue of sweeping the season series with the Iguanas. In that event, everything would boil down to Week 15 where a Doggie win would wrap up the division but a loss opens the door up for the Iguanas provided they can win their game. The Dogs play PMS Week 15 while the Iguanas play the Bone Club, a team who hasn’t called in a lineup in 2 or 3 weeks but would hopefully do so under such circumstances.
• In the Cheatem division, it’s also a two team race between the Strange Highways and Montezuma’s Revenge. The Highways have stumbled down the stretch although they’ve righted the ship just enough recently to maintain a slim one game edge. They’ve won narrow 5 point and 4 point games over the past 3 weeks, have played to an 18-18 tie and come out on the winning side of a 16-8 fiasco. The Revenge underachieved the better part of the season but have, of late, begun to explode. The question is whether or not there’s enough time for them to catch the Highways. The Highways already own the head to head tiebreaker. Thus, a Highway Week 14 win or a single Revenge loss clinches the division. For the Revenge to take the division, they must close out 2-0 while the Highways go 0-2. The Highways meet the Mystics followed by the Steamers while the Revenge play the Steamers followed by the Mystics.
• The Howe division continues to be a three horse race between the Retreads, Palace of Swords and Grande To The Party. The Retreads clinch the division with a single win in either Week 14 or 15. They play the Swords followed by the Party. Two Retread losses would open the door for both the Swords and the Party to make the playoffs IF both can win out. The Swords play the Retreads followed by the NFC Norris while the Party plays the Norris then the Retreads. A single loss by either the Swords or Party clinches a playoff berth for the Retreads. If the Retreads capture the division crown, the wildcard berth is between the Swords and the Party. The combination of a Swords win and a Party loss gives the wildcard to the Swords. Somewhere Coach Wassem is relishing the position he’s put his old friend Coach Will in. The Party has yet to win since the Mystics’ stunning Week 11 upset of them. And credit the Stanley Steamers for making this division even more interesting as a result of their Week 13 upset of the Retreads and Montezuma’s Revenge’s season series sweep of the P. Swords. If anything, the Swords’ losing to the Revenge twice in ’98 has proven huge. The Cheatem division, in general, has suddenly gotten hot at the expense of the Howe.

Remember lineups are due by kickoff on Thursday and transactions are finished for the year. Too bad for Coaches Pedersen and Unger who’ve both experienced sudden losses of player personnel. Ah, the beauty of this league! And we all close with divisional games to boot.

Last but not least, the Commish will be out of town on Thursday and Friday for business in the hotbed of culture, Davenport Iowa. I will be checking voice mails during that time.

Go deep, I’ll throw it!

-The Commish 

Transactions:

Natural Mystics waive QB Neal O’Donnell and K Todd Peterson; add QB Trent Green and K John Hall

Strange Highways waive K Doug Brien and QB Ryan Leaf; add TE Tyrone Davis and QB Kerry Collins

Greenback Iguanas waive WR Ernie Mills; add WR Michael Westbrook

Palace of Swords waive RB Charles Way and RB Erric Rhett; add TE Johnny McWilliams and K Pete Stoyanovich

Retreads attempted to waive WR Yancy Thipgen; add K Pete Stoyanovich. Transaction voided.

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Mystics Sweep Series; Continue Late Season Surge

The Natural Mystics continued their late season surge by defeating the Bone Club 48-27 in Week 13. The win was the 3^rd in 4 weeks for the Mystics and their 3^rd straight over the Bone Club. The Mystics have made a habit of playing well in December the past three seasons, whether they were playoff bound or not. On this day, they bolted out to a quick 22-8 lead behind 18 Emmitt points and a TD pass from Charlie Batch. When asked how he enjoyed playing for the Mystics, Emmitt replied, "While we aren’t in the playoff hunt, I’ve enjoyed this season much more than last year’s turmoil as a Highway and a Partyer. I think my performance has reflected that." Cris Carter scored 8 to keep the Clubbers close for awhile. However, the Mystics added 10 Jamal Anderson points and 16 from new K John Hall to close their scoring. The Bone Boys scored on 2 Ed McCaffrey TD catches and added 7 Jason Elam points. The Club dropped its 9^th in a row, tying the all-time FFL record. PMS will try to extend that streak in Week 14 while the Mystics play their old rival the Strange Highways.

Bone Club 27 48 Natural Mystics

Moon 00 QB 04 Batch

Watters 00 RB 18 E Smith

Vardell 00 RB 10 J Anderson

Carter 08 WR 00 Harrison

Pickens 00 WR 00 Ismail

Glover 00 TE 00 Dudley

McCaffrey 12 U 00 Hicks

Elam 07 K 16 Hall

Chiefs 00 D 00 Ravens 

Top Scoring Game Ever Leaves Swords Dangling

The Palace of Swords rang up 64 points. The running game was back. Antonio Freeman scored his 1^st TD in a month. Al Del Greco was worth a dozen points. Ben Coates caught an improbable and undeserved TD. But Freeman and Jermaine Lewis each went down with injuries, forcing them out of their games and forcing them to miss Week 14 upcoming. And 64 points proved to be enough to still lose by 16 points to Montezuma’s Revenge in a game that marks the highest scoring FFL contest in history. It’s only the 3^rd time a team with more than 50 points in a game has come up on the losing end. While the Swords were fortunate that they held onto 2^nd place and the wildcard berth for the time being, the Revenge kept the pressure on the Strange Highways in the Cheatem division. Their 80 points is topped on the all-time list only by Two Turntables’ 86 points in 1996 against the Greenback Iguanas and 81 by Hog’s Breath in 1997 and the Swords’ own 81 points earlier this season against Grande To The Party. Randy Moss scored 22 early points to counter Randall Cunningham’s 20. Richie Cunningham had 12, John Elway 16, Keenan McCardell 12, Fred Lane 12, and on and on. The Revenge did, however, suffer an injury to Robert Smith who’s expected out for 3-4 weeks and a one-game suspension to Fred Lane for grabbing his crotch after one of his TDs. Those losses could prove costly in Week 14 against the Stanley Steamers. The Swords, meanwhile, play the Retreads next week without 2/3 of its starting wideouts.

Palace of Swords 64 80 Montezuma’s Revenge

Cunningham 20 QB 16 Elway

B Morris 06 RB 12 Lane

Holmes 14 RB 00 Rb Smith

Freeman 06 WR 22 Moss

T Martin 00 WR 12 McCardell

Coates 06 TE 06 McGee

J Lewis 00 U 00 B Davis

Del Greco 12 K 12 Cunningham

Packers 00 D 00 49ers 

Norris Plays Spoiler As Iguanas’ Lead Cut To One

The Greenback Iguanas will have to defeat the King of Dogs in Week 14 in order to capture the division title as the result of their Week 13 defeat at the hands of the NFC Norris, 46-42. The Norris was led by surprise starter Leroy Hoard’s 12 points and 8 each from newcomer Rod Smith and K Gary Anderson. Napoleon Kaufman would have contributed a TD but was benched for the week. The difference was a late Tim Brown TD catch which brought the Norris back from a 42-40 deficit. The Iggy Pops were led by an outstanding game from Marshall Faulk (14 points) and 8 from Vinny and Jimmy Smith. The Norris will next attempt to spoil Grande To The Party while the Iguanas lick their scales clean in preparation for the Doggy style. A win by the Iguanas will propel them into the playoffs.

NFC Norris 46 42 Greenback Iguanas

Plummer 04 QB 08 Testaverde

Dillon 02 RB 00 Sanders

Edwards 06 RB 14 Faulk

Rd Smith 08 WR 08 J Smith

T Brown 06 WR 00 Westbrook

Drayton 00 TE 06 Walls

Hoard 12 U 00 A Smith

G Anderson 08 K 06 Longwell

Broncos 00 D 00 Falcons 

 Highways Hold One Game Lead After Slim Win

It wasn’t pretty but the Strange Highways did just enough to win by a 39-34 count over PMS. The win allowed the Highways to maintain their one game lead over Montezuma’s Revenge in the Cheatem division entering their Week 14 rivalry with the surging Natural Mystics. Coach Widtfeldt had to sweat out a desperate 4^th quarter that saw Doug Flutie trying to connect with Eric Moulds on what could have been an 11 point play. It would have been worth a PMS victory but the two could not connect. Additionally, Widtfeldt was only too painfully aware that ex-Highways Fred Lane and Keenan McCardell each accounted for 12 points on the day for their new teams. Derrick Alexander, inserted into the Highway lineup, saved the day with 14 points in his appearance. PMS was led by Flutie’s 10 points and 10 from K Mike Hollis.

Strange Highways 40 34 PMS

Favre 10 QB 10 Flutie

Jabbar 00 RB 00 Bettis

Dunn 00 RB 06 Bates

Rice 00 WR 00 Morton

Irvin 02 WR 00 Jett

Ty Davis 00 TE 00 Bruener

Alexander 14 U 08 Moulds

Hanson 14 K 10 Hollis

Raiders 00 D 00 Patriots 

Brunell Engineers Steamers Upset Of Retreads

The division title was within the grasp of the Retreads and, while Terrell Davis did not get a headache, Coach Detwiler most likely did as he watched Fred Taylor succumb to an injury and Davis go scoreless for probably the 1^st time since his bye week. It all added up to a 50-30 loss at the hands of the HMS (or is it MIA) Stanley Steamers. Despite not calling in a lineup of late, the Steamers have been playing better ball. On this day, they scored the most points in their short team history and stalled the Retreads victory express and champagne celebration for another week. The Steamers were buoyed by Marc Brunell’s 16 points as well as 12 from Matt Stover. More impressive is that they won despite starting Robert Brooks and Isaac Bruce, neither of whom played. In fact, it was the 5^th straight game Bruce sat out. Rumor has it that this Tin Man was at the theatre viewing the re-release of The Wizard of Oz. The Retreads got 7 from 1^st time starter Troy Aikman and 9 from Steve Christie. Joey Galloway continued to score for the Retreads, with 6 points. The Retreads will try sewing (or patching) up the division in Week 14 against the Palace of Swords while the Steamers meet Montezuma’s Revenge in a Cheatem division matchup that has playoff implications of its own.

Retreads 30 50 Stanley Steamers

Aikman 07 QB 16 Brunell

T Davis 00 RB 08 Hearst

Taylor 00 RB 06 Alstott

Mathis 06 WR 08 H Moore

Galloway 06 WR 00 R Brooks

E Green 00 TE 00 F Jones

D Holmes 02 U 00 Bruce

Christie 09 K 12 Stover

Seahawks 00 D 00 Panthers 

Dogs Edge Closer In Dewey Race As The Party Continues To Wind Down After 3^rd Loss In Row

Grande To The Party continues to reel. After their 42-35 loss to the King of Dogs in Week 13, they now find themselves with a three game skid, their longest since a six game slide in their first season in the league. They missed an opportunity to close within a game of the Retreads as well as a chance to take the lead for the wildcard from the P Swords. The Party got 14 from Curtis Martin but another zero from Eddie George. Steve Young had 8 but it seems as though it’s been 3 or 4 weeks since Young found Stokes in the endzone. Charles Johnson continued to be a one week wonder. The surprising Dogs (surprising because we still think they’re winning using more magic than Houdini) got 10 from Norm Johnson and 8 from Terrell Owens, who has been money in the bank down the stretch. The Dogs play the Iguanas in Week 14 while the Party sees the NFC Norris and attempts to loosen the noose that has recently tightened around their necks.

 King of Dogs 42 35 Grande To The Party

Stewart 04 QB 08 Young

Murrell 06 RB 14 Martin

Avery 00 RB 00 George

Owens 08 WR 06 K Johnson

Sanders 02 WR 00 C Johnson

Sharpe 06 TE 00 Santiago

R Moore 06 U 00 Stokes

N Johnson 10 K 07 M Anderson

Steelers 00 D 00 Cowboys  

 This week’s additions to the FFL Record Book: 

• Bone Club tied the record for most consecutive losses at nine. PMS will try helping them break the record this week.
• The Palace of Swords (577), the Retreads (562), and Grande To The Party (543) all cracked the list of top 10 season point totals. The record is 624 points in 1995 by When The Shit Comes Down.
• In a dubious double distinction, the Swords not only cracked the top 10 list for points scored in a season but also the top 10 list for points allowed in a season. They’ve now allowed 519 points this year, with the record being 587.
• Montezuma’s Revenge got 34 points from their wide receivers, tying the single game record for WR points.
• Montezuma’s Revenge (80) and Palace of Swords (64) combined for 144 points, breaking the record for highest scoring game by two teams. The previous record was 138 earlier this year by the Palace of Swords (81) and Grande To The Party (57).
• The Palace of Swords allowed over 50 points this week, marking the 9^th time in their history and setting the league mark.
• Steve Young has now scored 157 QB points in 1998, breaking the QB record of 151 by Brett Favre in 1996. It also sets the overall record which was also 151 by Brett Favre.
• Randy Moss’ 22 points is 2^nd highest for a WR in a game, behind Charles Johnson’s 24 earlier this year.

Swami Sez:

Things are just getting uglier for the Swami. Wiping his hands off from a 1-5 debacle, he attempts to make sense of the changing landscape. Here’s what he and his 43-33-2 record see for Week 14:

King of Dogs (7-6) vs. Greenback Iguanas (8-4)

Power Ranking: King of Dogs 7; Greenback Iguanas 5

Possibly for all the Dewey marbles. Both teams have been so unpredictable this year, especially of late. The Dogs seem to be playing the better ball but the Swami can’t shake the feeling that the Iguanas are due. Besides, Coach Rady probably prefers it this way. Take the Iguanas.

Bone Club (2-10-1) vs. PMS (4-9)

Power Ranking: Bone Club 9; PMS 12

For those of you who know the Swami, I have two words for this game: P and U. Oh well, I have a job to do so I’ll keep it brief. The Swami is tired of taking his lumps picking the Club. Take PMS and if the Boners win, Coach Young will be happy that I finally got off the bandwagon and helped him to victory in doing so.

Strange Highways (7-5-1) vs. Natural Mystics (4-9)

Power Ranking: Strange Highways 6; Natural Mystics 10

Don’t let the power ranking deceive you. The Mystics are playing some of the better ball in the league right now. But the Highways love putting it to these guys. And in all fairness, the Highways SHOULD win this game. If they don’t, they don’t deserve the playoffs. Take the favorite. Take the Highways.

Montezuma’s Revenge (2-9-1) vs. Stanley Steamers (3-9)

Power Ranking: Montezuma’s Revenge 8; Stanley Steamers 11

Both teams pulled off big upsets last week. Both teams have injury problems this week. But the Swami loves Randy Moss. And he loves John Elway. Thus, he loves the Revenge this week.

The Retreads (5-6-1) vs. Palace of Swords (7-3-1)

Power Ranking: The Retreads 1; Palace of Swords 3

Take the Retreads for two reasons: they aren’t as beat up as the Swords and they were held to 30 points last week. We don’t expect that to happen back to back.

Grande To The Party (5-7) vs. NFC Norris (10-2)

Power Ranking: Grande To The Party 2; NFC Norris 4

Will the Party ever get started? Yes, this week. The Party will prevail.

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