1997 FFL Week 5 Newsletter
This week’s high scoring team: The Bone Club has struck for 64 to take honors after losing twice to teams that did likewise the first four weeks. If you can’t beat them, join them Coach Young always says.
This week’s stooge: Hog’s Breath with 15, 10 from Steve Young. On the plus side, they’ve cracked 100 points for the season.
What’s inside:
1. Letter from the Commish
2. Transactions
3. Box scores
4. Week 5 Recap
5. The Swami Sez
6. Schedule
7. Rosters
Letter from the Commish:
Coach Widtfeldt wanted it pointed out that, although he had started out 0-4, he hadn’t been blown out in any of his games. The Commish believes that’s commendable. The Commish also believes that it’s better to be 4-0 than 0-4 and recalls the comments he received when his teams started off slowly and lost in every human way possible the past several years. Coach Young, the Yang to Widtfeldt’s Yin, optimistically noted that, while he’d started 0-4 also, he had the misfortune of facing the top scoring team two of those weeks. In the immortal words of Coach Will’s favorite musician, Lenny Kravitz, "what goes around, comes around." Or maybe it’s Madonna with "Don’t cry for me, Argentina."
Speaking of Coach Will, his Grande To The Party bunch had benched Ki-Jana Carter. Carter was in Will’s doghouse. However, Carter spun off a 79 yard TD run in Week 4 to earn a starting berth in the Party’s Week 5 lineup early in the week. That was before the news of Carter’s rotator cuff injury. This further infuriated Coach Will who had this to say:
"Ki-Jana Carter is a pussy. Whoever heard of a running back getting a rotator cuff injury? I never did like him, sad Penn St. pussy. I’ll tell you this; I’d never get hurt that like. And if I did, I sure wouldn’t go and tell the coach about it. I’d play through it."
There’s no truth to the rumor that Coach Ripken Will was seen running pass routes with Joe Willie Namath recently in preparation of a comeback attempt. Word is that he’s pouring through the Nigerian plains in search of a soccer style K to replace his injured kicker John Carney. Will also had this to say about those people calling to leave messages about "big game losses" and their hopes for a Mystics win in Week 5, "People don’t want to see a bald headed brother get down."
Pity the bottom of the Moe Division standings. Strange Highways and the Bone Club will face off in Week 6 with one of them assured of flying home after the game with another loss, a loss that in all likelihood ends any playoff hopes that still existed. The wildcards in this equation are Grande To The Party and April’s Supercuts. Should either put together a modest winning streak, there will be little chance of the cellar dwellar catching the leaders. The wild card coming from this division is a remote possibility at best. At this point, the wild card appears to be in the possession of a Larry or Curly division team. The whole of the Moe is most likely fighting it out for one playoff berth.
This just in. The trade between the Beer Spillers and NFC Norris is now official. As far as the Commish can recollect, this is the largest trade in league history, involving a total of 10 players. It breaks down like this: the Spillers have the luxury of trading their backup QB, John Elway (something the Crawling King Snakes were unable to do two years ago), along with Greg Hill, Eddie Kennison, Jeff Wilkins and Ernie Conwell to the Norris for Kerry Collins, Rickey Watters, Charlie Garner, Andre Rison, and Shawn Jefferson. Jefferson gives the Spillers a combo with Drew Bledsoe flinging the ball his way. Watters also gives the Spillers the feature back they’ve lacked. The Norris now make Eddie George the feature back with assistance from Hill. However, they solve their QB dilemma by putting Elway in charge. Kennison gives the Norris a long ball threat while Wilkins and Conwell filled in during the Week 5 bye of Coates and Vinatieri. The Commish believes the Beer Spillers have taken one very large step toward remaining competitive in the Curly division. Kennison is the true key for the Norris because everyone knows what Elway brings to the table. Kennison has shown flashes but will need to pick up his game down the stretch.
The Iguanas were also said to be shopping for a running back during the week, supposedly in contact with the Strange Highways. Nothing materialized although the Highways were said to have their eyes on a backup QB in the Larry division. The Highways are discussing putting Emmitt on the block should he continue to stumble and the Highways lose another game or two. Widtfeldt has gone on record as saying, "Emmitt’s gone." Teams already rumored to be in the hunt include the Iguanas, Swords, Bone Club and Grande To The Party. Any trade would have to be big for Emmitt to stay within the confines of the Moe division. With Stan Humphries’ play this week, he’s also supplanted Dan Marino for the moment at the QB position for the Highways.
During "priority pickups", a resounding seven teams made roster moves. Aside from the blockbuster trade, the biggest names were Cory Dillon and Mario Bates. Each was claimed in some combination of one or both by Hog’s Breath, Palace of Swords, Strange Highways, and Grande To The Party. Several others inquired and were prepared to claim one or the other until learning that the two had already been claimed. The lucky winner of each was Hog’s Breath. Only time will tell if these two will make a difference for the Breath. The LA Riots were the beneficiary of both Derrick Alexander and Jimmy Smith in mid season 1996. Then there’s the tale of LaShon Johnson who ran for over 200 yards in Week 2 last year for the Cardinals. PMS won that bidding war. Johnson contributed little the rest of the year. Coach Will was visibly upset by the turn of events, spewing forth vile similar to that chronicled above.
Will was equally upset that the Commish didn’t return his pages Wednesday night, thinking that he needed to call in his moves personally rather than leave them on the voice mail. Fortunately, it didn’t matter in the end and, with luck, Coach Will will peruse the newsletter closely enough to read the directions that have been posted since the pre-season. Coaches Young and Widtfeldt, too, were shaken by the night’s turn of events. Coach Widtfeldt was overheard by the Commish lamenting the possibility of going 0-6. Coach Young was sufficiently rattled to make only the single inconsequential pickup of recent Bone Clubber Leroy Hooooooard. Young earlier had made a brief attempt at prying Cris Carter from the Beer Spillers for Terry Glenn. Glenn’s questionable health and his bye week in Week 5 stymied talks. Coach Widtfeldt was bumped from claiming Trent Dilfer by the Palace of Swords who also grabbed Reidel Anthony to form a combo then tried to turn around and pawn them off to the Highways for some real talent.
In a related story, Young and Widtfeldt have also commissioned a panel to investigate a possible rule change for the 1998 season. It’s their sudden 0-4 beliefs that only one claim per team be made during the "priority pickup" portion of the week. Something to consider for next August.
It’s looking more and more likely that the Curly division is the home of the 1997 wild card team. Early on, PMS is 4-1 while the Crawling King Snakes and Greenback Iguanas are right behind them at 3-2 and with a date against each other upcoming in Week 6. The impressive thing about PMS is they’ve taken their opponents best blows, giving up 205 points. But they continue to outscore virtually everyone. The Beer Spillers started out of the gate quickly, going 2-0 before losing their last three. However, last week’s trade makes them a team worth watching over the next several weeks to see if they, too, begin to turn it up a notch. In the Moe division, Grande and the Supercuts each check in at 3-2. They, too, square off in Week 6 with the division lead on the line. The loser falls to 3-3 with either the Highways or Bone Club checking in at 2-4 and back in the race despite that record. The Larry division, with a Mystics victory this coming week, could become a rout by mid-season. The Mystics, 5-0, would finish 10-5 by merely playing .500 ball the rest of the way. No 10-5 team has ever missed the playoffs.
In an unrelated item, two U. of Miami football players were involved in an early morning melee that ended with one player arrested and another accused of jumping on a police car as they hauled his teammate away. Charges have been filed against one and are pending on the other.
The Commish wants to let everyone know that if any of you have anything you want the Commish to pass along in the newsletter for you, just let him know. He finds himself referencing some teams often and others not so often. This is merely a reflection of the outgoing nature of certain team owners and is not meant to imply any preference on the part of the Commish. So, as Coach Koll did last week, press releases are welcome as are any other news items you want to see.
Go deep, I’ll throw it! -The Commish
Mark--Stop here for reminders:
Drop/Adds begin Wednesdays at 6:00pm this year.
Wednesdays from 6:00pm-10:00pm are reserved for pickups based on low season point total.
First come/first serve drop/adds begin Wednesdays at 10:00pm.
All transactions are to be called in to 402-392-9749 and left on my voice mail for date/time stamping. This will serve as the official arbitrator of any disputes that may occur.
All lineups will be called in to 402-392-9749 for the same reasons.
To find out what lineup your opponent is using, either: call your opponent directly (remember to notify me of your starting lineups in any event-see above) or call me at 402-341-2674 after kickoff of the first weekly game.
I realize some trades are made at the last minute but, whenever possible, please notify me of any trades ASAP after they are made by leaving a voice mail at 402-392-9749.
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Paul Nerz--Paul Nerz--Paul Nerz--Paul Nerz--Paul Nerz--Paul Nerz--Paul Nerz
Paul Nerz is the sole remaining league member who owes dues. Please pay Paul Young. He can be reached at 420-2808 in Lincoln or you can mail a check directly to him at 2830 Jameson N. #15, Lincoln NE 68516.
Paul Nerz $25
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Transactions:
09/24 Hog’s Breath waive RB Stephen Davis and TE David LeFleur; add RB Cory Dillon and RB Mario Bates
09/24 Palace of Swords waive QB Chris Chandler and RB Jay Graham; add QB Trent Dilfer and WR Reidel Anthony
09/24 NFC Norris trade QB Kerry Collins, RB Rickey Watters, RB Charlie Garner, WR Andre Rison and WR Shawn Jefferson to Beer Spillers for QB John Elway, RB Greg Hill, WR Eddie Kennison, TE Ernie Conwell and K Jeff Wilkins
09/24 Beer Spillers waive WR Darnay Scott; add K Matt Stover
09/24 April’s Supercuts waive QB Jim Harbaugh; add WR Charles Jordan
09/24 Bone Club waive D Bengals; add RB Leroy Hoard
09/24 Natural Mystics waive D Jaguars; add RB Terry Kirby
09/25 Strange Highways waive QB Dave Brown and K Al Del Greco; add QB Stan Humphries and TE Freddie Jones
09/27 Grande To The Party waive WR Brian Manning; add K Michael Husted
09/28 Greenback Iguanas waive TE Jackie Harris; add RB Daryl Johnston
Last week, it was running backs that were all the rage. This week, look for the Swords to add a kicker, the Beer Spillers to add a TE and perhaps a D, the King Snakes a kicker and perhaps a D, the Supercuts a TE, the Bone Club perhaps a D, and Grande To The Party to drop one of his THREE kickers.
NFC Norris 19 Palace of Swords 43 Mystics 51
QB- Elway 12 Blake 08 George 17
RB- G Hill 00 R Smith 14 Bettis 00
RB- E George 00 J Anderson 06 Levens 02
WR- M Jackson 02 C Sanders 00 T Brown 00
WR- Kennison 00 J Morton 00 R Smith 00
TE- Conwell 00 McGee 00 Wycheck 08
U- Copeland 00 Emanuel 06 Fryar 08
K- Wilkins 05 M Anderson 03 Longwell 10
D- Raiders 00 Buccaneers 06 Cowboys 06
Bone Club 64 PMS 51 Grande To... 27
QB- Stewart 16 Johnson 12 Favre 04
RB- Sanders 02 Kaufman 08 A Johnson 00
RB- Murrell 08 T Allen 02 Dunn 00
WR- Miller 06 J Reed 08 R Brooks 02
WR- Shepherd 12 Freeman 00 Jett 12
TE- Chmura 00 Dudley 14 Sharpe 08
U- Hearst 08 Barber 00 Alexander 00
K- Hollis 12 Elam 01 Husted 01
D- Rams 00 Steelers 06 Seahawks 00
===================================================================
Hog’s Breath 15 Beer Spillers 19 Supercuts 23
QB- Young 10 K Collins 04 Brunell 00
RB- Means 00 Watters 00 Trl. Davis 10
RB- Bates 00 Centers 00 Phillips 00
WR- J Smith 00 C Carter 06 Small 00
WR- McCaffrey 00 Rison 00 Galloway 06
TE- Popson 00 Jones 00 D Jones 00
U- Westbrook 00 Pritchard 00 Try Davis 00
K- Peterson 05 Stover 09 Boniol 07
D- Eagles 00 49ers 00 Packers 00
Iguanas 52 Strange Highways 27 King Snakes 21
QB- Testaverde 05 Humphries 14 Mitchell 04
RB- Alstott 00 E Smith 00 Morris 00
RB- Johnston 00 R Harris 02 Faulk 00
WR- T Martin 20 H Moore 02 Pickens 06
WR- K Johnson 06 Crebet 00 Irvin 08
TE- Asher 06 Walls 00 Drayton 00
U- Thigpen 00 F Jones 00 Stokes 00
K- Hanson 15 Cunningham 09 Kasay 03
D- Broncos 00 Patriots 00 Panthers 00
Week 5 Recap:
The Party’s Over; Mystics Go 5-0 Behind Deion’s TD
"Neon" Deion Sanders struck for an 83 yard punt return Sunday afternoon to break open a tight game and propel the Natural Mystics to a 51-27 victory over Grande To The Party in FFL action. The punt return was the longest of Sanders’ career and his very first as a Cowboy. 1997, alias the Mystical Season, continued unabated as the Mystics’ Jeff George out Favred Brett Favre, tossing 4 TD passes and a 2 point conversion. Meanwhile Brett Favre was held to a single TD pass, that on a high deflection that landed in the outstretched hands of Packer WR Schroeder (of Peanuts fame). Warrick Dunn was stuffed like a trophy, held to 11 carries and 17 yards for the Party and K Michael Husted missed a PAT. The Party’s high point was 2 James "Bennie And The" Jett TD catches. However, they came from Mystics’ QB George. For the Mystics, Irving Fryar and Frank Wycheck had 8 each and K Ryan Longwell had 10, including a 50 yard FG. The Mystics put up their 51 despite a combined 2 points production from Dorsey, Jerome and Tim Brown. For Grande, it was another big game loss, a game that Coach very much wanted to win by his own admission. Only after the loss, did Coach claim it wasn’t big. However, Coach was heard asking if the Mystics were on the schedule again in ‘97. When informed not, he said he’d see them again in the playoffs. Grande drops to 3-2 while the Mystics are 5-0 on the season.
Cuts Clip King Snakes To Set Up Battle For 1st Place
April’s Supercuts held out until the last moment and came away victorious over the Crawling King Snakes in a 23-21 battle only after Snakes’ K John Kasay was held to 3 PAT on Monday night. The Cuts were led by Terrell Davis’s 10 and their own K, Chris Boniol, who scored 7. Joey Galloway chipped in a 44 yard TD reception before leaving the game with an ankle injury. For the Snakes, it was a frustrating day. Aside from WR Michael Irvin (8 pts) and Carl Pickens (6 pts), Scott Mitchell’s TD toss and the Kasay points were the only other scoring. Bam Morris ran well, finishing with 81 yards but did not find his way to the end zone. The Snakes fall to 3-2 in the Curly division while the Supercuts jump into a first place tie against Grande To The Party in the Moe division.
Late Johnson Aerials Lead PMS To 4th Straight Win
Brad Johnson threw late TD passses to three different receivers in leading PMS to a hard fought 51-43 victory over the Palace of Swords. The Swords almost tied it up at one point late in the 4th quarter when Robert Smith broke free on a long sideline run but he was knocked out of bounds around the 10 yard line to save the PMS win. PMS received points from all starters but Antonio "Hot Potato" Freeman and Tiki Barber. Barber was injured and is expected to be out 2-3 weeks. Rickey Dudley accounted for 14 points for PMS. For the 1-4 Swords, Robert Smith scored 14 and Jamal Anderson had 6 for the backfield but the WR production was once again non-existent as Chris Sanders, Johnny Morton and company continue to commit hari kari against the Palace walls. Coach Pedersen picked up Trent Dilfer and Reidel Anthony (to spite the Highways so says Coach Widtfeldt) but didn’t start either of them. Anthony scored for Tampa Bay. While the Swords are perilously close to making tee times for Week 16, PMS ups their record to 4-1 and edges into a one game lead in the Curly division.
Iguanas Run Away From Fowl Spelling Hog’s Breath
The Greenback Iguanas continued its trend of playing in blowouts as they whipped up on Hog’s Breath by a 52-15 score. The Iguanas have not played a game this season that was decided by less than 14 points one way or the other. In Week 5, the Iguanas got 20 from WR Tony Martin as Martin won the individual battle between himself and Natrone Means a week after the Iguanas and Hog’s Breath traded the two for one another. The Iguanas also got 15 from K Hanson and 6 each from Keyshawn and Jamie Asher. The D failed to score for the first time in four games. Hog’s Breath was stymied by the Jaguars who were held to zero touchdowns against the Skins on Sunday. The Iguanas had tried to court Emmit Smith away from the Highways in the days leading to the game but were unsuccessful. After striking out on picking up Terry Kirby, they settled for Daryl Johnston to fill a RB spot during the bye week of Thermal and Jabbar. Though the RB tandem did not score, the receivers picked up the slack. The Iguanas have gone 6-6-1 since Week 8 of the 1996 season and stand at 3-2 for this season. Hog’s Breath is 1-4, tied with Palace of Swords for last place in the Larry division and in need of some scoring punch quickly.
Beer Spilled As Highways Win First Game of Season
Back up QB Stan "The Mad Bomber" Humphries threw for 3 TD passes to lead the Strange Highways to their first win of the 1997 season, 27-19 over the Beer Spillers. Down 27-19 late in the game, Spillers QB Kerry Collins was knocked out of action ending any hope the Spillers had of coming back. Ironically, John Elway was scheduled to start for the Spillers until his mid-week trade to the NFC Norris. His 12 points were the difference between losing and salvaging a 27-27 tie. As it was, Matt Stover was the Spillers high scorer with 9 while the backfield of Watters and Anders went scoreless. Cris Carter hauled in a TD for the Spillers. For the Highways, Humphries, a mid week pickup, tallied 14 and Richie Cunningham booted for 9. Hundred yard games out of Raymont and Herman Moore rounded out the Highway scoring. It was not a pretty win but, at 0-4, the Highways are happy to come away with a win any way they can. The Highways are 1-4 while the Beer Spillers drop to 2-3.
Norris Clubbed By Bone Boys; Kordell Slashes Oilers
Kordell Stewart ran for 2 TD and passed for a third, leading the once again Bonasaurus Erectus to a 56-19 thrashing of the NFC Delores. The Boners got balanced scoring throughout the lineup as Leslie Shepherd, yes, Leslie Shepherd hauled in 2 TD, Murrell and Hearst had 8 points, Miller 6, Hollis 12, etc, etc... BLAH! BLAH! BLAH! The Norris received a strong debut from new starting QB John Elway (12 points) but only K Wilkins (5 pts) and WR Michael Jackson (2 pts) contributed amongst the remaining Norris starters. The Club raced to a quick 21-8 lead by 1pm and increased it to 40-12 by 3pm, then never looked back. This was the second straight blowout loss for NFC Norris after starting off 3-0 (shades of ‘96??). Norris is 3-2 while the Bone Club is 1-4, similar to their 1996 start.
Swami sez:
Week 6 is division week, finishing each team’s initial trip through its division. Four teams are vying to go undefeated the first time through: the Mystics, King Snakes, Supercuts and Grande To The Party. For those of you who plan to be in playoff contention come Week 15, keep in mind that Week 6 pairings are also your Week 15 pairings to close out the regular season.
Natural Mystics (5-0) vs. Hog’s Breath (1-4)
Power Rankings: Mystics 2; Hog’s Breath 12
The Mystics enter the game with a five game winning streak and as the sole remaining undefeated team of the league. On paper, this game appears to be no contest. However, Hog’s Breath does draw good matchups for Natrone Means and Jimmy Smith and the Jags are coming off a loss which should incent them on Sunday. Breath will be forced to go with Aikman at QB as Young draws the bye week. The Mystics will stick with the same lineup that has gotten them to this point. No starter has a bye for the Mystics. This just in: Jeff George is good! Watch for the George/Brown combo against the San Diego secondary and Jerome Bettis against the Raven front four. This is the first ever match up between these clubs. A Mystics win gives Wassem’s team a victory over each intra-division opponent for the season. A Hog’s Breath win gives the season new life but a loss could spell doom for the ‘97 squad. Note: Coach McCormack is a combined 1-9 in his two leagues currently.
NFC Norris (3-2) vs. Palace of Swords (1-4)
Power Rankings: NFC Norris 8; Palace of Swords 9
NFC Norris is trying to stay within striking distance of the 5-0 Mystics. A win this week is essential to that cause. The Swords, meanwhile, have their own worries. A 1-4 start has seriously dented any hopes of Coach Pedersen’s team returning to the playoffs and a loss cannot be afforded. Norris got a strong Week 5 performance from new starting QB John Elway while Jeff Blake continues to struggle in Cincinnati. The Swords ground game rates the edge here with Curtis Martin and Robert Smith rating out higher than a solo Eddie George. This game could come down to the Swords running versus the Norris passing/catching. The all-time series is 1-0 in favor ot the Swords.
PMS (4-1) vs. Beer Spillers (2-3)
Power Rankings: PMS 1; Beer Spillers 11
PMS is the best team in the league over the first five weeks and it appears only injuries can get in the way of a romp into the playoffs. A win this week over the Spillers separates these two teams by three games and keeps PMS in first place by one game in the Curly division. Johnson to Reed continues to sparkle. Reed has over 100 yards each of the last four weeks. Kaufman should fare well against San Diego as should Terry Allen against the Eagles. For the Spillers, Drew Bledsoe is back from his bye week. Andre Rison and Cris Carter will need to match any production PMS gets from her WR corps. This is the first ever matchup between these teams.
Greenback Iguanas (3-2) vs. Crawling King Snakes (3-2)
Power Rankings: Iguanas 3; King Snakes 4
Truthfully, this game is a pick ‘em. Both teams have explosive WR and each team has decent RB. It could come down to a battle of the QB. The Snakes will be picking up a K for the week. Tony Martin will lick his lips on the Raider secondary while Irvin and Pickens will do likewise against the Giants and Jags. Bam faces the Steeler front four. The winner stays close to PMS, the loser has some ground to make up. This one could be high scoring. The series is led by the Snakes 2-0.
April’s Supercuts (3-2) vs. Grande To The Party (3-2)
Power Rankings: Supercuts 10; Grande 6
This one’s for the lead in the Moe division. Each team enters the game at 3-2 in what shapes up as a low scoring affair. The difference, as is so often the case, may very well be Brett Favre. As Favre goes, so too does the Party. The Party has a decision to make about its second RB since Anthony Johnson draws a bye this week. So, too, does Phillips for the Cuts meaning the Davis brothers most likely will get the start. The Cuts have questions at TE. Grande leads this party, 2 games to 1.
Strange Highways (1-4) vs. Bone Club (1-4)
Power Rankings: Highways 7; Bone Club 5
In the words of Coach Widtfeldt, the gravitational pull of the Moe division leans towards these two teams, winners of the past four league titles between them. However, the weight of the titles is lugging these two teams down. Rather than playing for championships, this week they bring in a combined 2-8 record after each won its first game of the season last week. After this Sunday, one team will be 1-5 and most likely relegated to plotting 1998 draft strategy. The winner will have a feather in his cap for knocking the other one off in this fabled series and can still cling to hopes of the post season. TheBone Club have had all sorts of problems beating Widtfeldt led teams, trailing the series 4-0, including the ‘96 FFL Championship.
Swami had a good showing in going 4-2 for Week 5. This brings the Swami to 14-16 after five weeks. Buoyed by his success, he’s back this week for more. Point spreads are included for the first time but don’t hold those against Swami as he’s had a hard enough time just picking the winners. At the risk of getting his hand caught in the cookie jar, he has gone out on a limb with the Mystics for the first time this year (0-5 in picking the Mystics thus far).
NFC Norris (3-2) Palace of Swords (1-4) +1
Natural Mystics (5-0) -10 Hog’s Breath (1-4)
PMS (4-1) -10 Beer Spillers (2-3)
Crawling King Snakes(4-1) -1 Greenback Iguanas (3-2)
Bone Club (1-4) -2 Strange Highways (1-4)
Grande To The Party (3-2) -4 April’s Supercuts (2-3)
NOTE: Bye weeks are Atlanta, Carolina, St. Louis, San Francisco
Wednesday’s order of pickup w/ total points scored for season to date:
1. Hog’s Breath 107 7. Grande To The Party 171
2. Beer Spillers 141 8. Crawling King Snakes 175
3. April’s Supercuts 143 9. Bone Club 189
4. Strange Highways 147 10. Greenback Iguanas 190
5. NFC Norris 148 11. Natural Mystics 219
6. Palace of Swords 156 12. PMS 242
This just in (sent to me via e-mail by Highways owner Easy E Widtfeldt):
Cayman Islands--Mass rioting and looting followed yesterday’s first win by the Strange Highways. At least 40 people were trampled as the carnage spilled out into the streets. Initial reports show the rioting actually started in the owner’s box as Team President Eric Widtfeldt and G.M. Heather Hooper pelted the Beer Spillers and head coach Dave Schmitz with rocks and beer bottles as they tried to leave the field. Coach Schmitz was reported in fair condition in the local sanitarium after muttering, "I can’t believe we lost to this team." Following a massive orgy, the Highways will begin practicing for the only team to win a FFL title, the Bone Club. When asked for a quote on next week’s game, Coach Widtfeldt said, "I respect Coach Young for the two titles he has won. But he knows he can’t beat us and we know they can’t win." Coach Widtfeldt and G.M. Hooper also wanted to ask to rest of the league, "Who’s coming in second?".
Commish’s note: Sir, I knew Larry Bird. Larry Bird was a fine ball player. And, sir, you’re no Larry Bird!!