1997 FFL Week 3 Newsletter
This week’s high scoring team: For the 2nd straight week, PMS is the high scoring team with 49. Going back to Week 1, PMS has finished no less than 3rd for high points in any week to date. PMS’s Week 3 production includes receiving 0 points from RB Terry Allen. Second high scoring team was the Strange Highways who had the misfortune of playing against PMS in a 49-43 loss.
What’s inside:
1. Letter from the Commish
2. Transactions
3. Box scores
4. Week 3 Recap
5. The Swami Sez
6. Schedule
7. Rosters
8. Power Rankings
Letter from the Commish:
You may have noticed several subtle changes recently to the newsletter. Among them, you will find that each player’s bye week is now included after his name on the team rosters. You will also find the outcome of all league games on a running basis in the league schedule as well as the week’s high point team in bold italics with an asterisk after the point total. Also on the schedule is the trading and waiver deadlines as well as the date and day (when earlier than Sunday) of that week’s first game. By checking here, you will instantly know when the Thursday and Saturday games occur. It’s hoped this will assist you in phoning in your lineups by kickoff of that day. These new features are an effort to improve your enjoyment of the league and to make everything as user friendly as possible, not to mention that it allows the Commish to continue justifying his league waiver for another year. Seriously, the newsletters do take a great deal of time. However, the Commish understands that he is beholden to the league owners and is appreciative of the waiver afforded to him each year. It is hoped that these periodic improvements are beneficial and enjoyable. Should anyone ever have a suggestion, feel free to contact Coach Wassem who will relay the information for you.
League research indicates that no team that has won less than 9 games either of the past two seasons has made its way into the playoffs. This does not bode well for the remaining winless teams around the league who, by that logic, now must set their sights on a 9-3 finish to hope to have any chance at all. It should also be noted that, over those past two years, there were still 2 teams that finished at 9-6 and, yet, spent the holidays at home watching the playoffs on TV, they being PMS in 1995 (edged out for the wildcard by the 9-6 Supercuts) and Two Turntables & A Microphone in 1996 (who lost a playoff berth in Week 15 to the Bone Club).
The Commish received a phone call from Coach Koll this past Thursday to inform him that she had had her PC taken over by friends who understood how to work it and she now, with "big ups" to them, has the ability to open her files each week and read the newsletter. Here’s hoping she doesn’t have her system crash between now and Week 15. Week 16, of course, is quite alright. She also went on to express her disappointment in not seeing a bigger write up after "a killer week having crushed the bones of the Bone Club." I guess it pays to bring such things to the Commish’s attention. Here you go, Coach. For more PMS news, see below in the Week 3 recap.
Talk coming out of the various front offices this week centered around possible trades. Among the teams out looking are the Crawling King Snakes who appear to be shopping one or more of their plethora of wideouts for a running back. Sources close to the Commish tell him that the Snakes are also not averse to shopping Scott Mitchell for another QB if the right package should present itself. The Greenback Iguanas are rumored to be looking for a wide receiver to take the place of the maimed Jerry Rice. Rice was drafted by the Iguanas in large part because of his history of staying healthy. Evidently, the Iguana scouting department was unaware that Rice had flunked out of history. And this just in. Hog’s Breath is rumored to be looking for some points after scoring only 4 of them last week. Editor’s note: Hog’s Breath rebounded with 23 points in Week 3.
Coach Young’s Boner Club, by losing to PMS in week 2, has the dubious distinction of having lost to both of the female coaching staffs in back-to-back weeks. With all due respect to Ms. Johnson, Ms. Koll and Ms. Meyer (not to mention GM Hooper), Coach Young can now truly be called, "the bitch’s bitch." Should Coach Johnson’s Supercuts defeat the Bone Club once more when the teams play the rematch in week 10, the women will have completed the trifecta for the 1997 season, turning the Bone Club flaccid for the year. Coach Young, however, has not yet turned the page on the ‘97 season. In a telephone conference call late last week, Young reminded any naysayers to remember what took place in 1996 when, after starting out 0-4, the Bone Club regrouped by winning 9 of its last 11 to make the playoffs.
For those new to the league, you may not truly understand the importance of division weeks. Two of the first end-of-season tiebreakers are settled based on head-to-head matchups and records within your division. Thus, every game takes on a bit of a playoff flavor. Because of the head-to-head tiebreaker, a loss within the division is almost like two losses. Let it be noted that week 4 is a division week. In the Larry division, the Natural Mystics and the NFC Norris will square off with 1st place on the line. Likewise in the Curly division where new league upstart the Beer Spillers will meet perennial regular season powerhouse Crawling King Snakes and PMS meets the Greenback Iguanas with all four teams standing with 2-1 records. In the Moe division, that wacky, crazy, free-for-all excuse of former league contenders (Bone Club, Strange Highways, Supercuts) and pretenders (Grande To The Party) division, where 20 points gets you a win and 30 gets you a fine for speeding, the Bone Club faces off against Grande To The Party while the Supercuts meet the Strange Highways in an attempt to see if things can’t get just a little more knotted up. If they’re not too careful, this division may resemble the Big 12 South Division by the time all is said and done. No one will be worthy of a major bowl but someone HAS to go. Here’s hoping it’s April’s Supercuts, the people’s princess compared to the rest of this Royal Family. Note that, as far as anyone can remember, no team has ever qualified for the playoffs with a losing record.
Before he signs off, the Commish wishes to acknowledge each and every one of you who phoned in to say that he or she wanted to see the continuation of the old-fashioned, barbed, pointed, trash talking newsletter. It appears you have your wish!
Go deep, I’ll throw it! -The Commish
Stop here for reminders:
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Paul Nerz is the sole remaining league member who owes dues. Please get your $$ into Paul Young as we will otherwise be forced to invoke the "no transactions" rule. He can be reached at 420-2808 in Lincoln or you can mail a check directly to him at 2830 Jameson N. #15, Lincoln NE 68516. Please get him your money as soon as possible.:
Paul Nerz $25
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Transactions:
09/10 Palace of Swords waive TE Tony McGee and RB Tim Biakabutuka; add TE Freddie Jones and QB Todd Collins.
09/10 Strange Highways waive WR Wil Blackwell; add K Richie Cunningham.
09/10 Natural Mystics waive RB Craig Heyward and WR Rae Carruth; add RB Irving Spikes and WR Rob Moore.
09/11 Bone Club waive K Doug Pelfrey; add K John Hall.
09/13 Strange Highways trade RB Marshall Faulk to the Crawling King Snakes for WR Herman Moore.
NFC Norris 39 Palace of Swords 38 Mystics 31
QB- K Collins 08 Chandler 08 J George 04
RB- Floyd 00 CMartin 08 G Brown 00
RB- Watters 02 R Smith 00 Levens 02
WR- M Jackson 06 Morton 06 T Brown 00
WR- Rison 00 A Reed 08 Fryar 00
TE- Coates 06 F Jones 00 E Green 00
U- Jefferson 00 Emanuel 00 Rd Smith 14
K- Vinatieri 09 MAnderson 08 Longwell 11
D- Raiders 08 Buccaneers 00 Cowboys 00
Beer Spillers 16 Bone Club 26 King Snakes 28
QB- Bledsoe 08 Grbac 04 Mitchell 08
RB- G Hill 00 B Sanders 02 McElroy 00
RB- Centers 00 Murrell 02 Faulk 00
WR- Kennison 00 L Shepherd 00 A Hastings 06
WR- C Carter 06 A Miller 06 Irvin 00
TE- Conwell 00 Chmura 00 Drayton 00
U- Anders 00 Hearst 06 Stokes 00
K- Wilkins 02 Hall 06 Kasay 14
D- 49ers 00 Rams 00 Panthers 00
===================================================================
Hog’s Breath 23 PMS 49 Iguanas 40
QB- Aikman 04 B Johnson 08 Testaverde 08
RB- Warren 06 Kaufman 14 T Thomas 00
RB- S Davis 00 T Allen 00 Jabbar 00
WR- T Martin 00 Freeman 06 K Johnson 06
WR- J Smith 00 J Reed 02 Engram 00
TE- Popson 00 Dudley 00 Asher 00
U- J Lewis 00 T Barber 08 Alstott 06
K- Peterson 07 Elam 05 Hanson 14
D- Eagles 06 Chiefs 06 Broncos 06
Grande To.. 25 Strange Highways 43 Supercuts 24
QB- Favre 08 Marino 04 Moon 10
RB- A Johnson 00 R Harris 06 Trl. Davis 02
RB- W Dunn 08 E Smith 00 Try Davis 00
WR- R Brooks 00 Perriman 00 Galloway 00
WR- Alexander 06 H Moore 06 Harrison 00
TE- Sharpe 00 Walls 12 Dilger 00
U- Byner 00 Bruce 00 Phillips 06
K- Blanchard 03 Cunningham 15 Boniol 08
D- Seahawks 00 Giants 00 Packers 00
Week 3 Recap:
Week 3 has come and gone and then there were two; two undefeated teams left, that is. This week’s action was led by two battles of undefeateds, the NFC Norris vs. Beer Spillers and the Natural Mystics vs. Crawling King Snakes in a couple of Larry vs. Curly Division matchups.
The Moe Division once again had it rough as it stooged its way to a 1-3 record for the week. The Larry division went 3-1 while the Curly division finished at 2-2.
The NFC Norris had no problem routing the Beer Spillers 37-16. Balanced scoring was the name of the game for the Norris. Kerry Collins, in his first game action for the Norris threw 2 TD passes, while Ben Coates and Michael Jackson each caught 1 TD. The Norris’s D had both a TD and a safety. The Beer Spillers continue to rely on the golden arm of Drew Bledsoe who fired 2 TD passes. However, Cris Carter was the only other Spiller to make his way across the goal line in Week 3. The Spiller running game continues to be an area of concern. After three weeks, the only score from a RB is Larry Centers’ Week 1 TD. In Week 4, NFC Norris will face the Natural Mystics. In the only previous game between these two teams, Norris won 55-29. This, of course, was before the big "El Foldo of ‘96." The Beer Spillers will meet the Crawling King Snakes.
The other battle of undefeateds lived up to the hype. The Natural Mystics defeated the Crawling King Snakes in a game that was not decided until Monday night. Each team had a WR in action, Michael Irvin for the Snakes and Irving Fryar for the Mystics. Neither scored and Irvin was forced from the game in the last two minutes with the Cowboys driving due to leg cramps. In a trade made late Saturday night between the King Snakes and the Strange Highways, the Highways sent RB Marshall Faulk to the King Snakes in exchange for WR Herman Moore. This was the difference in the game as Moore’s TD would have put the Snakes over the top. With Carl Pickens on the bench with a bye in Week 3, the Snakes inserted J.J. Stokes and Andre Hastings into the starting lineup. Hastings scored a late TD to bring the Snakes close entering Monday night and offsetting the career day by Mystic WR Rod Smith who caught 2 John Elway bombs for touchdowns and had 100 yards receiving. Faulk was no factor. In fact, Faulk, who was also traded during the middle of the 1996 season, has not scored an FFL TD since week 7 of the ‘96 season. The Mystics improve to 2-2-1 against the King Snakes since 1995. As with the Highways loss to NFC Norris last week, the Snakes will be forced to wait another day to beat their designated rival. Asked to comment on the hearbreaking loss, Coach Erickson replied, "Say anything I want, gonna crawl some more."
On the opposite end of the spectrum, Week 3 also saw a battle between a pair of 0-2 teams, the Palace of Swords and the Bone Club. This game was over early, however, with the Swords owning a commanding 30-6 lead by halftime then coasting behind Curtis Martin’s 8 points for a 38-26 victory dropping the Bone Club into a tie for the Moe Division cellar at 0-3 with the Strange Highways. The Swords got 8 points from QB Chris Chandler before he left with an injury. Andre Reed also scored 8. Garrison Hearst, Elvis Grbac and Anthony Miller were responsible for the only Bone Club touchdowns. The Swords improved to 1-2 against the Bone Club since 1995. Thus far, Coach Young’s boys are a combined 0-5-1 in his two leagues. Oddly enough, the Highways and Bone Club were last season’s finalists but are each still looking for their first win on the season. Should each pull out a Week 4 victory, the Moe Division would have Grande To The Party at 2-2 and everyone else still right in the thick of things at 1-3. Next week, the Bone Club faces Grande To The Party while the Palace of Swords square off against Hog’s Breath in the first-ever matchup between those two teams.
Don’t look now but PMS appears to be a team on a mission in 1997. They improved to 2-2-1 lifetime against the Strange Highways with a 49-43 win over them in Week 3. Prior to gametime, the Highways, led by coach "Sleezy E" Widtfeldt, caught wind of the Crawling King Snakes’ desire to make a trade and nosed in on the talks between Coach Erickson and Coach Will to unload Marshall Faulk and the Brooklyn Bridge in exchange for 2nd round draft choice WR Herman Moore. Alas, Moore immediately paid a 6 point dividend but the Highways could not overcome the PMS blitzkrieg. No sooner had Raymont Harris scored for the Highways than PMS got touchdowns almost simultaneously from Napoleon Kaufman, Antonio Freeman and Tiki Barber. Then, after the Moore TD around halftime, Tamarick Vanover scored a special teams TD for PMS on a kickoff return within 2 minutes. PMS received bonus points from Johnson (4), Kaufman, Barber and Jake Reed. The only PMS starters not to score were Rickey Dudley (90 yards receiving) and Terry Allen. The Highways continue to have QB problems. Dan Marino was held to a single TD pass with 2 minutes left in the game. Wesley Walls scored 12 for the Highways but Emmitt Smith failed to score a rushing TD for the fifth straight game. Despite the loss, Coach "No Bob for Grande for one week" Widtfeldt was pleased with his team’s effort, saying they had shown signs of life and that the addition of Moore could be the missing link. He proclaimed his squad ready to begin a roll. Coach Koll could not be reached for comment as she is currently on a sea cruise. But she knows. Oh yeah, she knows.
The Greenback Iguanas won their 2nd in a row by beating April’s Supercuts 40-26. The Iguanas received 14 points from Jason Hanson, 8 from Vinny Testaverde and 6 each from Keyshawn Johnson on a nice TD grab, Mike Alstott on an amazing 1 yard TD run, and the Broncos’ D on a 94 yard kickoff return. The Supercuts have been hurt early on by the Colts’ inability to find the endzone. As a result, Marvin Harrison and Ken Dilger are still waiting for their first points of the year. Warren Moon showed he still has a few bullets left in the old gun, scoring 10, while Lawrence Phillips is proving to be a worthwhile draftpick for the Cuts as he streaked in for a 23 yard TD run. Coach Johnson has to hope Phillips can continue to play through the pain of his toe injury, something Marshall Faulk was unable to do last year. Terrell Davis had another 100 yard day but didn’t reach the endzone. Although the Supercuts drop to 1-2, they’re still in the thick of the Moe division race and face the winless Strange Highways in Week 4. The teams have split their last 2 games head to head. The Iguanas have recovered nicely from a tough Week 1 start to improve to 2-1, setting up an interesting Week 4 matchup against the high scoring PMS squad. The question to be answered is whether or not PMS can keep its momentum or if they’re about to come full cycle for the next 7 days. In the only game ever played between these two teams, PMS won 31-26.
In the remaining Week 3 game, Grande To The Party survived a scare against a Hog’s Breath team that failed to call in a lineup this week, yet almost pulled out victory in any event, dropping a 25-23 decision. Grande got 8 from Favre and Dunn, 6 from Alexander and 3 from Blanchard. Hog’s Breath got 6 from Warren and 7 from Peterson. Hog’s Breath had the firepower to win, leaving 30 points on the bench (12 from Young, 12 from Westbrook, 6 from McCaffrey). Grande improves to 2-1 despite scoring only 24 and 25 points the past two weeks and next faces a Bone Club team that is ready to explode. If history is any guide, the Bone Club may see that explosion this week. The Club is 2-0 versus Grande the last 2 years and that does not include a win for the 1995 FFL championship. For Coach Will’s team, it’s admittedly a psychological thang. Coach was seen already pacing the film room late Monday night developing worry lines on the top of his big, shiny noggin. Hog’s Breath next will meet the 1-2 Palace of Swords.
After starting off at 4-8 after the first two weeks, Swami performed to the tune of 4-2 for Week 3 bringing his season mark to 8-10. Swami correctly saw into his crystal ball in selecting the Palace of Swords, Grande To The Party, PMS and Greenback Iguanas. More undaunted than ever, Swami has wiped the fog and saw the future in Week 4. It looks thus...
NFC Norris (3-0) over Natural Mystics (3-0)
Palace of Swords (1-2) over Hog’s Breath (0-3)
Crawling King Snakes (2-1) over Beer Spillers (2-1)
PMS (3-0) over Greenback Iguanas (2-1)
Bone Club (0-3) over Grande To The Party (2-1)
Strange Highways (0-3) over April’s Supercuts (1-2)
NOTE: Bye weeks are Arizona, Dallas, Philadelphia, and Washington
Wednesday’s order of pickup:
1. Hog’s Breath 44 7. Beer Spillers 93
2. Bone Club 79 8. Greenback Iguanas 109
3. April’s Supercuts 81 9. NFC Norris 113
4. Grande To The Party 82 10. Natural Mystics 118
5. Strange Highways 88 11. Crawling King Snakes 124
5. Palace of Swords 88 12. PMS 141
The POWER rankings:
For those of you who are new to the league, periodically yours truly publishes the league power rankings. These are easily calculated. As you all know, there are times when your team wins despite now playing well simply because your opponent played worse. For example, Week 2 NFC Norris only scored 29 points but still won because the Strange Highways (a.k.a. Pepe LePew) scored only 23. Conversely, your team may score more points than the majority of teams but have the misfortune of being matched against one of the few teams to be able to outscore you for the week. Case in point is the hard luck loss suffered in Week 1 by PMS who, despite scoring all but 4 teams, lost 53-42. So, to get a feel for how well a team is truly playing compared to the league as a whole, the power rankings were created. Simply play an imaginary game against each of the teams in the league and count up the wins and losses. See below for a breakdown to date:
Team Week 1 Week 2 Week 3 Overall
1. PMS 7-4 11-0 11-0 29-4
2. Crawling King Snakes 10-1 10-1 5-6 25-8
3. Natural Mystics 11-0 6-4-1 6-5 23-9-1
4. NFC Norris 8-3 5-6 8-3 21-12
5. Greenback Iguanas 4-7 8-3 9-2 21-12
6. Beer Spillers 9-2 6-4-1 0-11 15-17-1
7. Palace of Swords 3-8 4-7 7-4 14-19
7. Strange Highways 2-9 2-9 10-1 14-19
9. Bone Club 0-11 8-3 3-7-1 11-21-1
10. April’s Supercuts 6-5 1-10 3-7-1 10-22-1
11. Grande To The Party 5-6 3-8 2-9 10-23
12. Hog’s Breath 1-10 0-11 1-10 2-31