Week Twelve Newsletter

Tony Gonzalez caught a pair of touchdown passes for the Iguanas as they ended a four game losing streak in time to maintain a hold on 1st in the Cheatem division and even their record at 6-6 with a Week 12 over the Palace of Swords. Trent Dilfer added a pair of TD passes for the Baker Boys while K David Akers toed 10 points. Although only three starters scored, it was enough to stem the Swords, whose focus was in the front office rather than the sideline for most of the day, campaigning to anyone and everyone about the perceived inequities of the Mystics-All World trade from earlier in the week. The Swords' only scoring was Randy Moss' 8 points, 3 points from Olindo Mare and 2 points from Jamal Lewis who rushed for 180 yards but no scores. Having fallen to 8-4, the Swords find themselves still in 1st place by a game over PMS thanks to another MNF miracle (the Dogs' safety with 3 minutes left gave them the win over PMS). Also, the Norris has crept to within a game at 7-5. The Swords get Grandmaster G next week, a team who again failed to call in a lineup for Week 12. Rumors have begun to surface that, due to the inadequacies of games featuring one or more teams not phoning in their lineups, the Coach Wassem may request a league vote to prevent this from dictating the playoff race. Meanwhile, the Iguanas, trying to stay afloat long enough to make the playoffs, hope to exact revenge next week on the Retreads when they meet for the 2nd time this year. The Iguanas win, coupled with a win Monday night by the Revenge, eliminated both the Bearded Clams and Strange Highways from playoff contention.

There's nothing like a healthy dose of Eddie George to make the world right. Coach Dourisseau found that out in Week 12 after George rumbled for 3 TDs and 100 yards rushing to pace Small World to a pasting of the Bearded Clams. George's 20 was supplemented by 13 from John Carney and 8 from Rich Gannon. The Clams got 5 points from K Todd Peterson. New WR Donald Hayes was held to 3 catches against the Vikings while his QB was taking a beating due to the Panthers' weak OL. So Hayes must suck. Plus he got hurt during the game himself. But he probably still sucks. He's probably no better than a 3rd or 4th tier receiver (how many tiers exist, do you suppose? I never learned that in FFL school). The Bearded ones, battered and beaten, fall to 3-9 entering a Week 13 game next game versus the King of Dogs. All World will face off next week in a contest against the Natural Mystics, who have been pointing to the rematch ever since its Week 9 upset at the hands of Coach Dourisseau. One loss by All World or one win by either the Swords or PMS ends their playoff hopes. In a side note, Laverneaus Coles rode the pine this week for All World but had only one catch for the Jets. He, too, got hurt so he probably sucks as well. I think he's listed as a 5th tier WR in the Guru Pedersen ratings.

The King of Dogs pulled a win out of their bungholes Monday night on the strength of a Jeff George to James Thrash TD pass one play after Thrash was called for a questionable holding penalty on a TD run by Stephen Davis and on a Redskins safety with 3 minutes left in the game. The final score was 28-26 with the safety being the final difference. The Dogs needed every Monday night point. George threw 2 other TD passes, both of which were vital in the Dogs' fluke win. PMS was led by Elvis Grbac's 10 points, which mostly offset the 12 points that backup QB Peyton Manning totaled for the week. Not questioning PMS' choice of Grbac but just pointing out that the additional 2 points from Manning would have salvaged a tie. Truthfully, yours truly better understood the decision to start Grbac against SF last week when Manning had to face the Jets. But in Week 12, Manning was squaring off against an average-at-best Packers D while Grbac was matched against a top flight Bills defense. Anyway, Antonio Freeman and Tim Brown had a TD each and Martin Gramatica added four more. The Dogs were completely shut out on Sunday with the exception of Jason Elam's 8 points in the Broncos-Chargers game. But there was little that Jeff George and James Thrash could do Monday night to pull it out for the Dogs. Lamar Smith left the game for PMS with an injury which hurt PMS' chances. Kevin Faulk, too, was lifted from the game. PMS was forced to play the game without another injured RB, Tim Biakabutuka. At 7-5, PMS hopes to keep pace next week when it again faces the 3-9 Strange Highways. The Dogs, 8-3-1, after alone in 1st in the Howe division, play the 3-9 Bearded Clams in Week 13. They are an early favorite over the Clams by 11.

The NFC Norris improved to 7-5 on the season and have climbed into contention both for the Dewey division championship and a possible OFFL wildcard berth with its first ever victory over the Retreads, 44-34. The Norris was paced by Ed McCaffrey's 14 points and 12 points from game-day pick up Zach Crockett. Mike Vanderjagt, Steve Beuerlein and Johnny Morton each contributed a TD. The Retreads, suffering their first ever loss to Coach Nerz, like Coach Wassem before him, were led by Daunte Culpepper's 14 points. James Stewart and Ryan Longwell added 6 apiece. Wideouts Derrick Alexander and Amani Toomer each had 100 yards receiving but did not score. Terrance Mathis did not catch a ball all day. For yet another week, Coach Detwiler left WR points on the bench as Andre Rison caught a touchdown in the Raiders victory. The Norris will meet Montezuma's Revenge next week while the 7-5 Retreads get the Greenback Iguanas. At this point, the Retreads' chances for the Howe division championship rest of two Dog losses in the last three weeks and one Mystic loss.

The Revenge looked around the league in search of a team they could defeat. Just when all seemed darkest, along came the Grandmasters, a team running on autopilot. The Grandmasters failed once again to set a starting lineup in Week 12, not that it would have mattered much since little scoring was to be found on their bench. Of course, perhaps making a transaction or two such as dumping Raghib Ismail (out for the season) would have helped in that cause. Anyway, it all added up to the right team at the right time for Coach Unger. And we're pretty sure he didn't care who or how. He just cared. His wishes were answered with an ugly, but sweet, 22-16 victory of the Blands that evened the Revenge's record at 6-6 in time to keep up with the Iguanas and eliminate the Clams and Highways from playoff contention, taking them out of their collective misery at last. This win was even more important given that only a miracle can bring a wildcard berth to the Cheatem division in 2000. Either the Revenge or Iguanas will win the division. The other wins a nine month vacation. High scorer for the Revenge was Mike Hollis, the kicker, with 10 points. Eric Moulds had 6 and Marc Brunell had 4. Stephen Davis was denied a TD when James Thrash was called for a holding penalty Monday night. Coach Will's (or whoever's) team was led by Trent Green's 10 points. Kris Brown had 4 and Torry Holt had 2. That was it for the Gigis who fell to 4-8, their first losing OFFL season since a 7-8 record in the Moe division in 1997. But that was still a playoff team. The Gigis play the 8-4 Swords next week while the 6-6 Revenge will face the 7-5 NFC Norris.

This one was over prcticall before it begun. Robert Smith ran for a TD, caught a TD and had 100 yards rushing. Cris Carter caught a TD and totaled 100 yards receiving. Rod Smith scored a TD and had 100 yards receiving. Jay Riemersma scored. Gary Anderson had seven point. But the straw stirring the drink for the Mystics in Week 12 was new QB Gus Frerotte who fired five TD passes, 4 interceptions and over 400 yards passing to account for 23 points, among the all-time single game highs in OFFL history as the Mystics improved to 7-4-1 with a blowout win of the Highways. The Mystics had 66 by the end of Sunday without Marshall Faulk having even taken the field yet for his Monday night game against the Redskins. Faulk's TD reception Monday gave the Mystics a franchise all-time single game point record of 72. Fred Taylor was a one man wrecking crew for the Highways, with 4 TDs and 200 yards rushing. Taylor finished with 27 of the Highways' 40 points to turn this from a huge blowout to at least a respectable score on paper. Shannon Sharpe added 8 points for the Highways, who fell to 3-9 with the loss. The Mystics will try to keep the momentum going next week versus 5-7 All World while the Highways play 8-4 PMS.

League Records:

• The Mystics' 72 points is a new single game record for them.
• The Mystics and Highways combined for 112 points, the 9th highest single game total in OFFL history.
• The Mystics' 50 point game gave the league a total of 19 50+ point games this season. Last year, there was only a total of 16. The alltime season record of 23 is within range with three weeks remaining.
• Bearded Clams scored an all-time franchise low 5 points, the first time ever scoring under 10 points in a game.
• The Highways allowed over 50 points for the 1st time this season. The only league member who hasn't allowed at least 50 points once this season is the NFC Norris. The only team that hasn't scored at least 50 points in a game thus far this season is the Bearded Clams.
• Gus Frerotte's 23 points is the 6th highest single game total for a QB.
• Fred Taylor's 27 points this week was the 3rd highest single total ever for a RB.
• Eddie George's 20 points at RB this week made the all-time lists.