Reading Material on the Train Recently I happened to overhear a discussion concerning what to bring to read while spending time on a train. I happen to enjoy train rides, finding them an ideal way to sit and think about what I will write in my next column in which I will write about my friends. In fact, now that I am thinking of it, I believe it was a conversation between my friend Jim Gibney and my other friend Gerry Adams that I overheard. Jim used to ride the rails all over Ireland - or was that another good friend of mine, Tom Hartley? Either way I am confident that when on trains both of them read, because they have read all my books and I have no doubt some of the time spent reading my books was while on a train. Speaking of Gerry Adams and trains reminds me of something even more annoying than the current campaign the so called "Real" IRA is waging on the rail system. First of all let me say however that the Real IRA hasn't learned a thing. We did not get to all the way to Stormont where we decommissioned our weaponry in a heroic act of patriotism by disrupting the rail service alone! This is why the "Real" IRA will never enjoy the full support of the nationalist people. What is more annoying than when the "Real" IRA disrupts your train service and leaves you stuck on an overcrowded bus is when you order breakfast on the train and have to wait for those who paid for first class service to get served before the pimply-faced 17 year old Dublin boy pushes his cart down the aisle and gives you your cold bap. Thinking of Gerry Adams reminds me of this because on the rare occasion he takes the train he rides first class and does not have this problem. I however have written extensively on this subject and am very vocal about the problems it causes for those poor working class train travellers who did not have time to eat before they caught the train to Dublin. I am well known as a champion of the working class and their rights and I feel that denying one the right to have a hot breakfast on the train is outrageous. Luckily I do know Gerry Adams well and since I have written about this he has promised to look into it. Perhaps in the next Assembly elections Sinn Fein, a party I support but am not a member of, will gain a new minister for the Department of Transportation. I can think of no one better for the job than my friend Tom Hartley, who has used all forms of transport at one time or another in his life and has used it in the service of his country. Until this problem is solved however, I recommend picking up a copy of that book I wrote the introduction for and a bap at the newsstand before you get on the train and then you will not have to wait for the pimply faced boy. My introduction is available at all Eason's. www.fannygarrison.com

not a member of Sinn Féin

Fanny Garrison "I'm a Writer"