Standing by her door, her back inclined against the wall, she sighed a heavy sigh as she looked outside. She slowly slid down to her knees, tears starting to fall, again. Nothing to do there but weep. She looked at the floating clouds, just outside her window sill. The clouds gently moving about, playing with the wind. A sudden gush of wind blew across her room. The wind was cold, harsh, strong. She hugged herself to keep warm. Why was she crying? She felt stupid seating in one corner, just seating there . Nothing to do, nothing to say, nothing to cry about. Wait, nothing to cry about?
"Kurama…" she whispered. She felt the sudden gush of wind across her face. She stood up, walk towards the window, sat down and rested her chin on her hands. shining tears spread gently across her face. As the wind blew, her soft hair and tendrils played across her face, partially blocking her view. Everything seemed to exist as a pair. She looked down at Makai, two stones rolling along the steep cliff of Makai seemed to be chasing each other. In Ningenkai, lovers in a park seemed to be too much to look at. She buried her face on her hands,
"Chi!!! Kurama no baka!" she screamed, her voice caught by her hands, "Why! Why?!" she cried, hitting the window sill with her clenched fist.
.........It all started a week, ago. While she was walking in the corridors of the Reikai palace, she heard Koenma's voice, he seemed to be talking to another ferry girl.
" Gomen ne, Koenma-sama, I---" the Reikai girl said. She heard Koenma sigh. He asked the girl to call her, Botan. Botan opened the door.
"Konichiwa, Koenma-sama" she bowed. Koenma made a gesture at the other girl to leave.
"I want you to ferry a certain soul" Koenma said, his glare down to the floor, handing Botan some papers, "Read them later, just leave right now!" Koenma ordered as soon as Botan was about to read about who was she going to ferry that day. She produced her oar and flew away, following Koenma's order. As soon as she left, Koenma clenched his fist. He hit the table with his fist, bumping his head once on his office table.
"Go-Gomen nasai… Botan" he whispered. Botan flew through the sky, she read the papers. As she turned a page, her eyes narrowed, her whole body froze, she dropped the papers. The papers glided down from the sky.
"Ku-Kurama…" she said finally. She landed down the street corners, just to find a commotion happening down the other corner.
"What do you think happened to him?" she heard one man say. She walked closer and froze as she saw…
"Kurama!" she shouted as she kept her eye on the dead body, covered with blood. She backed off a few steps away from the scene. As she got out of the crowd, she fell on her knees, and tears began to fall.
"Koenma-sama, why?" she whispered in her thoughts.
Koenma was startled, he quickly stood on his chair, remembering what happened. His mind seemed to be blocked by something, then he remembered,
"Botan, Kurama, she finally knows" he sighed.
Botan felt a hand rest on her shoulder. She looked up.
"I guess you're looking for me" he said. Tears began to burst out of Botan's eyes. She held her chest at the sight of him, only this time as a soul.
"*sigh* We better be going, Botan, I don't want to see 'Kaasan after this" Kurama said, holding Botan's hand. He saw her tears, his heart seemed to be stabbed by something. He can't stand seeing her cry like that. But, he can't do anything, this was his fate. He gave her a gentle smile which she gave back. She nodded her head and she began to transport them towards Reikai. When they reached the place, Botan lead him to a specific door.
"Isn't this Koenma's room?" he asked.
"You're supposed to become a youko again, Kurama" Botan replied. She opened the door and lead him to Koenma. After that, she excused herself and went straight to her room and slammed the door behind her.
"Koenma, when I return to becoming a youko, will I be able to see Botan again?" Kurama asked quickly.
"Yes, but…" Koenma replied, his voice low.
"But what?" Kurama asked. Koenma sighed.
"You won't be able to recognize her, you will have a new life there and she doesn't even have a job in Makai and, I-I'm sorry, I can't do anything about it" Koenma replied.
"But---can I see her for the last time?" he asked. Koenma nodded. He slowly walked towards her room.
"Botan? Botan-chan?" he knocked. No answer. He gently opened the door to see her at one corner of her room. He approached her.
"Botan? I---"
"I know!" she shouted, suddenly sending Kurama to step back a little, "Baka! I know what will happen! You will live a new life in Makai and you won't be able to recognize me! And you know what's more painful?! I still know you! My window is just between Makai and Ningenkai! I can see almost half of Makai! I will be able to see you !" she cried, burying her face to her palm. Kurama stepped beside her. He placed a gentle hand around her and rested her head to his chest.
"I doubt I would, but if so, don't worry. As a youko, I am not fond of loving anyone. Koenma said I will forget everything, meaning I will forget being a ningen and ningen feelings. You will always be the one who last held my heart and kept it there" he said, pointing at her chest, just where her heart was. She cried and cried, but knew that there was nothing she could do. Even Koenma can't do anything. This was their fate, and they have to accept it. With a last sigh, he kissed her and slowly walked out of the room, leaving her there. He can't bear see her cry anymore. With tears falling, he went back to Koenma's office......
Botan opened her eyes, to see herself standing by her window again. Remembering what happened a week ago, she smiled. That was one way of saying goodbye, indirectly. She looked down at Makai, and caught a glimpse of a certain youko, sleeping in his cave. His silver-white hair spilled across the leaves which served as his bed. His eyes close with a smile gently playing across his face. She heard him murmur something,
"Botan" he said in his sleep. Botan probably didn't know, but the youko knew she was watching over him as he slept. He smiled. Botan smiled, she remembered his words, 'I doubt I would forget you', he was right. She knew she can naver be with him, but in their dreams she knew she can , she closed her eyes, and fell asleep, dreaming about the youko, her Kurama.
~owari~
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