"HAVING AN EFFECT ON PLAYERS WORLDWIDE"

Naboo Tournament Report
2000-04-05:

Last night 14 combatants came ready to claim the honor and glory of winning the oft-forgotten and unheralded planet of Naboo. For the Jedi, they came armed with their sabers and Gungan friends and what did they find on the battle plains, in the swamps, and boldly positioned on the steps of Theeds Palace but an array of Sith puppets. Tanks, battle droids, and even Senators, all aligned against them. And behind that might, the Sith themselves. But the Jedi were not daunted. Racing off to an early lead, Qui-Gonn, Obi, and even little Anakin proved too much for the mechanical throngs. The most often heard expression from the Dark Side -- Uh-oh!
But the Sith were not to be denied. As quickly as the Jedi had begun their advance, Death From Above descended. Tanks and senators arrived and with them came the Neimoidians. Evil little buggers but effective, the Neimoidians did what the droids could not -- chase down and overrun the lonely Jedi. From Naboo to Coruscant and all the way back out to Tatooine, the battle spread with unparalleled fury. Lightsabers were swinging, blasters were burning holes through Mos Espa shops and Senate platforms, and a solitary tank gun fired a shot over the swamps of Naboo and fell harmlessly behind a gang of beefed up Gungans. The fighting was intense and many people died. Twice Jar Jar found himself run over on the open plains of Naboo, first by a Tank (JC Jar Jar). Then when he thought the coast was clear he was side-swiped by Maul riding his Sith Speeder. Icky-icky goo! More often than could be counted, Mace had to defend the Jedi Council on his own, sometimes with his own bare hands! But Mace was up to the task, luring many a weakling to him with his profane tauntings. Eventually, the main event arrived and a matchup that was not originally anticipated happened. Darth Maul, armed with his double edge saber, stepped into the hallowed halls of Theeds Palace, resplendent in his simple but unmistakably evil and cool robes. Opposing him, fresh off his defense of the Jedi Chamber, and armed for the very first time with his own pulsating blue lightsaber was the last defender, the head of the council, the very symbol of Jedi conduct, Mace Windu. With all that buildup, only the greatest saber flicking, force pushing, may the force be with you, mutherf***er encounter could be expected... ...but, alas the Gungans put up a better fight. Two quick slashes with the saber and Mace was fish food.

Despite Maul's bragging rights, his side lost the overall war. Sidious got run over by a train of Gungans and the Republic was saved from the Menace of a New Empire for at least another week. Two players went 5-1 but Jeremy Baker punished his victims more intensely and distanced everyone else in differential to win the Sebulba foil and the right to call himself conqueror of Naboo.

Councilor Sullivan
Sith Master and Survivor of Naboo -- barely

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