I had an epiphany today. It was a glorious moment--the kind of realization that makes you want to jump up and say,"Gotcha!"
Most of the arguments against Christianity that I developed came to me when I was a Christian. It wasn't because I was looking for holes in my religion that I thought of these things. Instead, it was a careful examination of the core tenets. I just thought about my religion long and hard with no prejudice. Actually, it was more like daydreaming.
In many ways, it's all still true. I don't seek to discredit religions; that happens on its own. I examine them closely. I let my mind wander, exploring the possibilities within the religious guidelines. Occasionally, something occurs to me that isn't quite kosher.
I was having a conversation on the Secular Web Bulletin Board the other day, talking about Original Sin. Kind of. I was making the point that God willingly created the world with a fallible human (Adam), a tempting force (the Serpent), and a God-created boundary (the Tree). If any of these three things were absent, then humans would live forever at one with God. Basically, I was chastising God for his amazing lack of foresight.
The response I heard was not unlike what I've heard before: God gave man a choice. Otherwise, we would just be mindless automatons. Despite the unfounded assertion here that automation is unsatisfactory to God, and despite the fact that we don't consider other animals to be "automatons", this is a good point. Somehow. My response then was to ask a couple of questions. Was this evil opportunity (eating the Fruit) supposed to sit there, unexecuted, for all eternity? God expected no one to eat it ever? Doesn't the Almighty have his own version of Murphy's Law? Valid questions, in my opinion.
Later on I was thinking about it and letting my mind wander. Sure, we wouldn't want to be automatons, but even if we were we wouldn't know it, so discussion is worthless. We may in fact be automatons, because I am sure there can be a more sophisticated consciousness than this. Maybe we had it. Maybe humans didn't gain self-awareness, but instead we lost some for our disobedience.
The thing that bothered me most was the assumption about the nature of God. Compared to an exceedingly vast consciousness that lies outside of this plane of existence, we would look like automatons no matter how smart or self-aware we are. How do you know what God does or does not create? I'm guessing with all the trouble he's had to go to, he prefers the automatons.
You see, if we are talking about some vague "Creator God" then no one can say for sure how it acts or whether or not it exists. When humans start attaching qualities to their gods, contradictions appear. In that case, I can say with some certainty that the deity in question doesn't exist. Or, at the very least, I can say it doesn't exist in the way people say it does.
When people attach this "choice" quality to the Christian god, I can accept that. The Free Will doctrine is clearly bogus, but to say that a deity gives us the choice between right and wrong (as defined by God) is just fine. (Note: My Free Will writing explores how much control we have over our choice--asserting the existence of the choice is fine with me). What God would not want, it is said, is for us to have no choice--to have to do things his way. God is no dictator, they say.
This is a false dichotomy, I thought to myself. God could give us multiple good options, thus maintaining his perfect creation. Some insist, though, that human beings just wouldn't be human if they didn't have the option of turning from God. This is the moment in my line of thought where I had the epiphany.
What, pray tell, is heaven supposed to be like? After Lucifer and his minions are cast into the Lake of Fire, humans live in harmony with God for ever and ever, amen. Nothing but worship and praise, with no temptation at all. One with the Creator--perfect, divine harmony. Sounds lovely, doesn't it? Can someone explain to me how people in heaven are different from the concept of human automatons? Do they have free will? Can they choose to reject God? Do they have any temptation at all?
Maybe I'm way off here, but isn't the one thing Christians want (eternal life w/ God) the same thing they say God wouldn't want for humans (automation)?
As I think about it now, I seem to remember having a problem with the heaven concept at a very young age. Would I still be me? Good or bad, my biases and tendencies make me who I am, I thought to myself. Would I just be a worshiping idiot? Can I still have fun in heaven, or does bliss get old after a while? What is bliss without sadness? What is the "real" Nathan like, when you strip away all this sinfulness?
You could say I had problems with it from the start. I didn't look for holes, as I said before, I just really thought about what it would be like. Frankly, as a person of sound mind and faculty, the idea of losing a part of myself (evil or not) scares me a bit.
So, the next time you catch yourself saying that God doesn't want automatons in his creation so he gives man free will, ask yourself what your ultimate goal is. How could God, as you define him, possibly have a heaven for you?
If your soul goes to heaven, and heaven strips away your soul, then what do you have left?