Raziel's Birth : Rough

Raziel's Vampiric Birth

Note: This is the rough version, below is the transcript I wrote for this scene before I drew the rough draft. I've got this up coz I want feedback and comments. Perhaps there are errors in this...I'm not sure if Kain would have known of Raziel's destiny at this time.
If you can, pls post any comments on the string that I made on the Nosgothic Realm Forum (^_^) Thanx! And I hope u like it!
Chibi J UK

[Kain is looking over the Tomb of the Sarafan, pondering over the six sarcophagi]

'Melchiah, Zephron, Rahab, Dumah, Turel...and Raziel.
Six of the finest Sarafan Warrior Priests. Enshrined here. Martyred for their cause…
Oh if they knew of the truth. Of the pure act of blasphemy I am about to commit. How I am raising them as the very things they so despise
Why...Malek is here too...No matter'

[Kain walks up to Raziel's tomb and opens it, as the dust settles it finally reveals the long dead corpse of its inhabitant. It is still shrouded in its armour, still baring the fatal piercing wound on its breastplate.]

'Lain here dormant for millenia at his own hand. How he will grow to learn this irony in the future that is all set out for him'

[Kain breathes a part of his soul into Raziel's dead body, stealing his soul from the Spectral Plain and sealing it in this body before him. Dramatically the soul dives into the corpse, splitting the armour clean in half. He rises, and although his features are gaunt, his flesh baring clinging to it - there are distinct features of Raziel, and he is beautiful in Kain's eyes.
Raziel is shocked, unable to understand this existence. He shivers and looks at his hands seeing that his body is filling with life and substance before his very eyes. Kain gently passes his cloven hand over Raziel's brow - and through his brooding expression he is silently contemplating his newest creation. Slowly standing up he finally speaks]

"Know your name Raziel. You are beautiful. My first born, my loyal lieutenant, my son"

[Raziel looks back into the eyes of his maker]

'Little did you know, you were destined to be the saviour of Nosgoth'
[When Kain says these words, the frame has pre-fallen Raziel, with his dammed form in his wings]

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