Basilians' Pick-Up Lines

Inspired by Sherlock Holmes series by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, Disney film The Great Mouse Detective, and The Basil of Baker Street Mysteries by Eve Titus.

Written and Edited by Diane N. Tran. <escottish140@hotmail.com>
Publication for this GMD site © 10 July 2003
UPDATED 13 May 2006

(Editor's Note: Written text is copyright of the author. Rebroadcast, redistribution, or reproduction of this document, in whole or in part, is prohibited without prior, written permission.)


Picture this:

You are in the sitting at the bar, having a pleasant drink and possible meal, and there, sitting next to you at the bar, is Basil (or Ratigan, Dawson, etc.), the Great Mouse Detective-ish mouse of your dreams. You want to "chat them up" -- as the British slang goes -- to start the conversation or simply and desperately hope for a couple of naughty bonuses. However, you cannot think of the right words to say... Well, here is your answer! The foolproof, fully printable Basilian Pick-Up Lines, here to express your words from innocent to corny to hardcore. It's all here!



Warning
We are not responsible if user is emotionally
rejected or harmed due to the use of this product.
Use with extreme care, especially around villains.
Is liable not to work outside the Great Mouse
Detective Universe. This product is not
foolproof, we lied.



Pick-up lines from Basilians to BASIL:

  • "Is that a magnifying glass in your pocket, or are you just glad to see me?"

  • "That Inverness is very becoming on you. Of course, if I were on you, I'd becoming on you too."

  • "You know what they say about large noses/feet/tails."

  • "Hey, I like you shoes. Do you like mine?"

  • "Deerstalker, Inverness -- drat, where's the handcuffs?"

  • "That pipe of yours is sure in an intertesting shape." *significant waggling of eyebrows*

  • "So how about we go back to my place and find out what kind of detective you really are?"

  • "So you chase theives, uh? If I steal your heart, will you chase me?"

  • "Your pipe isn't the only thing that's smokin'. Puuuurrrrrrr!"

  • "Forget about That Woman, let's talk about us?"

  • "Sure, you can have a picture of me so you can show Santa what you want for Christmas? But we can start trading presents now if you want?" *winks*

  • "Is there a Mrs. Basil? Would you like to make me one?"

  • "So I take it, child rearing was never your strong suit. Despite that, wanna make some anyway?" (Thanks, Basil!)

  • "If you don't wanna have kids with me, then why don't we just practice?" (Thanks, Cass!)

  • "So, is Lower 221C occupied?" *significant waggling of eyebrows* (Thanks, Marie!)

  • "You see, I already know where you live, everybody does, now all I have to do is break in your bedroom before anyone else."

  • "I'm lost, can I come home with you?" *winks* (Thanks, Cass!)

  • "I lost my address. Can I have yours?" (Thanks, Cybra!)

  • "Would you mind helping me cracking my case if I can fill your pipe with shag?" (Thanks, Betsy!)

  • "I'd call you a body of evidence!"

  • "So you travel around London on dogs, um? Well, saddle me up! I'm your Toby!"

  • "Let me be your Toby!" *pants and drools*

  • "Hello, aren't I the most winning woman you ever knew? Well, aren't I?"

  • "How about jack-knifing me to the mantlepiece?"

  • "So, Basil, I hear you are quite talented working undercover. How about working under the covers?" (Thanks, Steph!)

  • "So the Inverness? It's long so to cover up the large parts?" (Thanks, Basil!)

  • *see the Inverness* "Hmmm, are you a flasher? Mind givin' me a free show?"

  • "Hi, I wrote a story about you where we fell in love, made mad passion, got married, had several kids, and live happily ever after. So how about it?"

    •

    Pick-up lines from Basilians to DAWSON:

  • "Let's play 'Doctor'! You be the gynecologist. Ready?"

  • "Oh no, I'm choking! I need mouth to mouth, quick!"

  • "That moustache of yours sure is nice and fluffy, um?"

  • *whiningly* "I'm lost without my Boswell, too!"

  • *seeing Dawson in a pirate outfit* "Hey, Long John! I'm a Love Pirate, and I'm here for your booty! Argggghhhh!"

  • "Since Basil seems to only fancy The Woman, you must get all the rejects, right?"

  • "I bet lots of beautiful ladies have swoon into your arms when they come to consult Basil about a distressing case." *swooning*

  • "He may be the world's greatest detective, but you're the doctor of L-O-V-E."

  • "Would you be my love buffet? So I can lay you out on the table and take what I want?"

  • "How about you and me come back to Baker Street and let me see your little tin dispatch box?" *significant waggling of eyebrows*

  • "Is it true you 'extend over many nations and three separate continents'?" *giggles*

  • "That mean ol' Basil been mistreating you again, you should move in with me and write about our adventures."

    •

    Pick-up lines from Basilians to RATIGAN:

  • *right close in front of his face* "RAT!!!! OH YEAH! I love it ROUGH!!"

  • "So your cigarette holder is a foot long, eh?" *significant waggling of eyebrows*

  • "You can ring my bell anytime!"

  • "You're ringing my bell now!"

  • "How about you and me ting-a-ling-a-ling under the bedsheets?"

  • *lays on the tabletop front of him seductively and rings a bell* "Dinner is serrrrvved!"

  • "Feel like having an educational evening, Professor?"

  • "Hey, didn't I see your handsome mug on Wanted posters?"

  • "Hey, I have your Wanted poster hung in my boudoir. How about I hang the real thing in my boudoir?" *winks*

  • *strokes his tail* "So what else do you have that's big, thick and long?"

  • "I've just moved you to the top of my 'to do' list." (Thanks, Cass!)

  • "Forget the cat! How about giving this little hunnie-bunnie a tasty treat?"

  • "I can make you go snap, boom, twang, thunk, and splat on your back."

  • "So you travel around London on a cat, um? I'd spend one of my nine lives with you!"

  • "If you're the Napoleon of Crime, how about making me your Joséphine?"

  • *screaming dramatically next to him in a Marlin Brando impression* "JOSÉPHINE!!!!!"

  • "So Professor, is the Thames water to your liking? Fell like skinnydipping?"

  • "Feel like a tussle on top Big Ben? You can claw my clothes off."

  • "Oh, a mathematical professor! I need a little help with my Calculus, can you integrate my natural log?"

  • *improved version of the above* "Oh, a mathematical professor! What do you say we go back to my room and do some math: Add a bed, subtract our clothes, divide your legs, multiply, and find out if 69 is a perfect square?"

    •

    Pick-up lines from Basilians to FIDGET:

  • "Hey, I can make you fly." *winks*

  • "A peg-leg like that needs a good screw."

  • "Awww...your foot and wing are hurt? Let me kiss it all better..." *evil grin*

    •

    Pick-up lines from Basilians to HIRAM FLAVERSHAM:

  • "Nice Flangerhanger!" *winks*

  • "Check out your Flammerhammer! Aaahooooowwwwwlll!"

  • "Are you too old for Viagra?"

    •

    Pick-up lines from Basilians to BARTHELOMEW:

  • *drinking profusively* "Oh my, the more I drink, the better you look!"

  • "I'm not drunk, I'm just intoxicated by you."

  • "Oh, I thought it would have been a terrible thing to be digested, but coming down here and seeing you, I'm in heaven!"

  • *continuation of above* "Let's make her vomit and flee together in uncontrollable passion!"

  • "No, that's not a beer belly -- it'a a fuel tank of love machine."

    •

    Pick-up lines from Basilians to OSCAR MILDE:

  • "Be unique and different, say yes!"

  • "I can sense that you're a terrific lover, and it intimidates me a little."

  • "You're so handsome, Mr. Milde. I think I could fall madly in bed with you."

  • "You've been a naughty boy. Go to my room!"

  • "You might not be the best looking guy here, but beauty is only a light switch away."

  • "Do you know the essential difference between sex and conversation? We can go upstairs and converse all night!"

  • "Hey, you're Oscar Milde, the Irish poet! I'm Irish, too. Would you like some more?"

  • "If I had a rose for everytime I thought of you, I'd be walking through my garden forever." *smiles* (Thanks, Cass!)

  • "Is it hot in here, or is it just you?" (Thanks, Cass!)

  • "Picture this: you, me, bubble bath, and a bottle of champagne."

  • *continuation of above* "Oh, wait, better make that two bottles of champagne! I like to make the long-distance runs." *waggles eyebrows*

  • "So, what are the chances that we can engage in anything more than just witty conversation?"

  • "You're so sweet, I'm getting cavities."

  • "I miss my teddy bear!"

  • "Hello, Cupid called. He says to tell you that he needs my heart back."
  • "Your belt looks extremely tight. Let me loosen it for you."

  • "Let me sit on your lap and we'll get things straight between us."

  • *continuation of above* "I'll sit on your lap and see what raises..."

  • "I love your clothes; it would look great in a crumpled heap next to my bed."

  • "Like my dress? How about you talk me out of it?"

  • "You ever get those days when you feel the need to bounce like a bunny? Do you feel it now?"

  • *plays with his hair* "Whatever you do, don't ever cut ever that silky hair of yours; I want those luscious follicles to rub against mine..." *winks*

  • "Don't you think I'm the most beautiful woman in this room, Narcissus?"

  • "I would die happy if I saw you naked just once."

  • "Hey, Milde! I'm Bed-Wilde!"

  • "Mind if I pucker up and blow?"

  • "Now that we're done with formal introductions, let's go to bed."

  • "My God, I think I love you -- now, lay down!"

  • "My bed, now!"

  • "Love is a sensation / Ccaused by a temptation / To feel penetration / A guy sticks his location / In a girl's destination / To increase the population For the next generation / Did you get my explanation / Or do you need a demonstration?"

  • *to Basil* "Do you like to dance? Well then, could you go dance so I can talk to your friend?" *winks at Milde*

    •

    Pick-up lines from Basilians to INSPECTOR VOLE:

  • "Help the homeless! Take me home with you!"

  • "I must have been arrested earlier? It's gotta be illegal to look that good."

  • "How about I kidnap you and take you to my bed?"

  • "I've been bad -- you better handcuff me to that bed."

  • "I'm a criminal, chase me!"

  • "Okay, drop 'em, now!"

  • "Damn, if being sexy was a crime, you'd be guilty as charged!"

  • "What's it take for a girl like me to be arrested?"

  • "Aren't ya gonna frisk me?"

  • *singing* "Please, Mr. Jailer, won't you let 'your man' go free?"

  • "How about you and me wrestle and see who gets takin' down first?"

  • "Why don't you read me my rights, handsome, as I lay down the law?"

  • "Hey, if you read me my rights, can I spend the night?" (Thanks, Cass!)

  • "Excuse me, I'm from the FBI, that's 'Fine Body Investigators' and I'm going to have to ask you to assume the position." (Thanks, Cass!)

  • "There is just one thing your eyes haven't told me yet -- your name." (Thanks, Cass!)

  • *stares at his nose* "Woooww, it's so BIG!"

    •

    Pick-up lines from Basilians to ARISTIDE BRUANT:

  • "Are you free tonight, or will it cost me?"

  • "Pretend I'm France and invade me!"

  • "I bet you know Australian kisses? No? Well, it is just like your French kisses, but down under..."

  • "Have you ever played leap-frog naked?"

  • "If I pet you, would you follow me home?"

  • "Pardon me, but are you a screamer or a moaner?"

  • "I'd like to name a multiple orgasm after you."

  • "All this could be yours for one low, low price!"

  • *stares at his tail and grins* "That thing's rather...whippy." *suggestive eyebrow* (Thanks, Cybra!)

  • "We have a few options. Would you like bed, floor, wall, door, or face?"
  • "Try me once and if you don't like it, what have you wasted? What, six hours of your life? More with foreplay."

  • "Nice scarf, wanna fuck?"



    • Back to Pastiches