The Next Generation Crew encounters Joel Berger
*Dramatic chord*
*Tatata TUMMMMMMM*
Picard: Captains Log, Stardate 98765432.1, something's different about today, I am not sure what, but several crew members have commented about the date, but there's nothing special about it...anyhoo, so I'm off to the bridge to see what decloaks off the starboard bow
Data: there are klingons on the starboard bow
Starboard bow
Starboard bow
There’s klingons on the starboard bow
Starboard bow, jean-luc!
Picard: We come in peace, shoot to kill, shoot to kill
We come in peace, shoot to kill, Data, beam me up!
Data: umm, sir? You are already onboard....
Picard: Hail it Mr. Worf!
*Worf does so, then give Data a high five*
Data: YAY!
*Riker gives them a puzzled look*
Data and worf: whaaaat?
K-Captain: I'm back after trying out some zit cream!
Data: I c it did not help.... its even BIGGER! Now its like an extra ARM!!!!! It even has FINGERS!!!
K-Captain: must've given it the zit-food instead, stupid look-alike bottles!
*Crew laughs together*
Hahahaha!
K-Captain: shut up before I have to unleash my most powerful and destructive weapon....
Riker: Bring it on!
*Crew looks stupefied*
K-captain: ...Joel Berger
Data: so?
Worf: who the heck is Joel Berger? Is it someone I can blow up? I sure hope so...
Picard: I haven't a clue Worf, but I would think you could
Worf: yay!
K-Captain: maybe....
*Worf runs off to room to gather supplies*
Riker: will it listen to me play the trombone?
Picard: NO!!!
*Crew sighs in dismay*
*Ad-libs things such as* oh no! Not again! Quickly, get the earplugs!
Picard: I call the good ones!
Data: I may have some experiments to run on him.... unless he is not too messed up already...
Picard: who? Riker?
Data: this “secret weapon”
Picard: I see
Data: silly old, bald, fat, French guy
Picard: ggrrrrr
:-D
K-Captain: I am annoyed with your presence; I will now beam Joel Berger over...
*Crew laughs again*
Hahahaha!
*Beams Joel over* *in typical Joel-speak* hi guys
TO BE CONTINUED...
*Da da duuunnn*
*Crew looks around*
What the heck was that?
Data: I dunno, that funny music pops up frequently....

Picard: Mr. Worf, see if you can't blow it up!
*worf over intercom* sorry, captain, i am still gathering supplies!!!
Picard:  *in snotty tone* fine! have it your way *normal tone* Mr. Data feel free to commence testing
*worf* i will!!!!
*data conducts radioactive experiments*
*Picard stands and observes*
Data: no effect captain!
Joel: do you like Staw Twek, ohw something?
Data: hmmm… it seems he is foolish and clueless then
*picard* obviously
*Data runs more tests*
*Riker runs off to get his trombone, sneakily*
*worf runs into him in the hall*
Worf: NOOOO! NOT THE TROMBONE!!!
*Riker dashes away*
*Worf blows up the trombone that he dropped*
kaBLOOIE!!!
Worf: durn, i have to get more explosives now....
*Worf stomps back to quarters*
*back on the bridge, Picard sits in his chair*
*welsey whispers to nameless crew member* i think he just likes to sit in that comfy chair, cuz he is a fat, silly, old, bald frenchman!
Picard: Say wha-?
Wesley: oh, nothing....
Picard: wait a second! Wesley what the^%#&$%$ are you doing here, didn't we vaporize you, like, three times last episode?
Wesley: ummm, no! because i am actually Q! %poof!%
*Wesley changes into Q*
Picard: Q! I should have known
*cheesy grin*
Q: oh, really?
*Troi Slaps Q*
*Picard Goes into his ready room for no apparent reason*
*Wesley who is actually Q… (whatever)* i bet he likes the comfy chairs in there too..
*over intercomm* I heard that WESLEY, I mean Q, oh whatever!!!
Wesley/Q: oopsy daisey.....
*Beverly Walks in* You're grounded, young man!
Wesley/Q: drat! *stomps off to quarters*
*runs into worf*
Joel: what about me???
*worf blows him up for fun*
kaBLOOIE!!!
*picard comes back* How did the tests show up Mr. Data?
Picard: Mr. Data…?
Data: inconclusive sir it seems he is some sort of freakish, unhuman ZOMBIE!!!
Picard: thank you. Worf, Blow him up! quickly, man! I want some frenc....er.....Freedom toast now!
*worf* IM NOT READY YET!!!!
*cut to commercials!*
*commercial break*
*Picard walks to go take a restroom break*
*picard still is going to the restroom*
*riker goes to see if his trombone was really vaporized*
*it is*
Riker: Durn!
*back to the show*
*picard is still on the toilet*
Picard: *humming* hmmmm hmm hmmmmmmm
*picard runs out of toilet paper*
Picard: EEP!!
*Runs to the next stall to get more*
*finishes his "business"*
*meanwhile on the bridge*
*picard dashes onto the Set* Did I miss anything?
*riker whispers* we're on LIVE!!
Picard: oops
Picard: have you blown him up yet Worf?
*worf* not  yet captain...working on it!
*Joel* awe u twying to blow me up? cuz if so, my daddy will sue you!
Picard: Shut UP!
*worf finally comes*
Worf: WORF, TO THE RESCUE!!!
Riker: thank Goodness for Worf
*data and worf begin air-guitaring*
NANANANAAAAAA! DODODODOOOO TATATAAAAA NAAWNAAAAAWNAAAAW!
Picard: Worf, just get the job done and we'll blow the entire ship apart with air-guitar rock!
*worf and data* sorry...
%Poof% *as Q re-appears*
Picard: make it so!
kaBLOOIE!!!!
*crew waits for smoke to clear*
Picard: Thank you!
*crew gasps*
Extra: HE'S ALIIIIIVE!!!
Picard: S***!!!!!!
*Q sits around in amusement*
Q: haha! didnt you know annoying pale kids who pronounce their "r"'s as "w"'s CANT be blown up?!?!?!?
*picard* shut up Q
Q: NO!!!!! :-P
Picard: big meanie...
Q: haha! see, very few know that he is actually a W!
Picard: a W?
Q: which is a really messed up Q, with the only powers that he has are his stupidity and inability to explode
Picard: then how will we blow him up?
Q: well, u cant sorry
*worf curses in klingon* kraplat!
*Worf sniffles*
Picard: It's ok, we'll blow up some cardassians tomorrow
Worf: yay!
Q: lets concentrate on the matter at HAND.... we Q's hate all W's as much as everyone ELSE! cuz we cant blow them up....
Picard: so what can WE do about it?
Q: hmmmm, well, for once, i will obey the rules and talk to the Q coucil
*Riker looks outside* Ohmygawd, It's a borg ship!
Q: this give me an IDEA.....
Picard: we could ship him off to the borg!
*Q waves his finger around, snaps his finger, clicks his heel together, and does lots of other cliche stuff for no apparant reason, and the EVIL JOEL PERSON is transported away!!!!*
%poof!%
Picard: Where did he go?
Q: off to the borg ship, you silly, old, bald french guy!
*Picard says something very inappropriate in French (or Freedomish)*
Worf: the Borg Cube is hailing....
Borg: WE AWE THE BOWG WESITANCE IS FUTILE!
GET THIS THING OFF OF OUW SHIP AND HUMANITY WILL NOT BE
HAWMED!
Picard: DOH!
Q: well, this is a sticky wicket that we have worked ourselves into....
*worf curses in Klingon again*
*Idea enters Worf's mind*
Worf: We could blow up the Borg Ship!!!!!!!
Picard: But don't the Borg inherit the traits of the species they assimilate, so now they'll be invincible to being blown up?
Worf: continuity is for LOSERS, silly, old, bald, frenchman
*all the borg ships in the universe, in its ultimate fury of having such an imbasile on their ship who talks funny, simultaneously commit suicide*
Picard: That works too...
*worf curses again*
Riker: I think he's finally dead!
Picard: Perhaps...but I doubt we've seen the last of him!
*Duhn Duhn Duhnnnnnn*
Crew: there's that music again!
Narrator: AND WITH THOSE OMINOUS WORDS, THERE IS A BLACKOUT!
The Next Generation Crew Encounters Joel Berger!
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