Remy's Conquests Part I - Chapter 01

Summary:

“I don’t know about this.” – Bobby Drake, the lookout, “I kind of feel like we might be invading the Prof’s privacy. I think it’s a bad idea.”

“Den don’ t’ink, chere.” – Remy LeBeau, the thief, currently breaking into the Professor’s private security room. “Got it!”

The door opened with a click and a hydraulic hiss.

Remy took the first step into the room, his foot found smooth flat steel that had probably never actually been walked on. There were no chairs in he room either.

Mounted on the wall opposite the door were more monitors than either of them had seen in one room all together ever.

“Wherever he is, won’t the professor be able to sense us in here?” Iceman whispered, the small room seemed to command quiet, almost like a library.

“Non, he built dis room special, so dat Jean or none of de other telepaths could read him while he was in here.” Remy whispered back. He had knelt in front of the first row of screens and started tapping away at the keyboard, then, one by one, the monitors flickered to life. Bobby’s eyes widened.

“Christ,” he muttered, “There are cameras everywhere.”

It was true.

For every room in the mansion there were at least two monitors, and, as Remy quickly worked out, there were at least five cameras that could send information to each screen. By tapping an arrow key he could see five different angles of the dining room at once.

“I c’n see de inside of my shower cubicle from t’ree different prospective.” The implications were disconcerting to say the least.

“Oh, Rem, you have got to see this!” Bobby pointed open mouthed at a screen depicting a very naked Jean in the shower. He was literally all but drooling.

Remy grinned.

“Still t’ink dis be a bad idea?”

Bobby didn’t answer.

Remy turned back to the screen in front of him; currently Ororo was cooking dinner whilst chatting casually to Rogue. He could almost swear that they were talking about him, but the lack of any speakers…

“Ha!” The sound had been switched off; Remy found the switch and flicked it.

Suddenly the small room was filled with random noise. He tapped at the keyboards again, trying to select which individual microphones were activated.

{“I want to know what’s going on between you and my wife!”}

It was Cyclops’ voice, Remy tried to see which screen the sound went with.

It was the danger room.

The screen showed Cyclops and Wolverine sparring.

The fight appeared to be getting bloody.

{“Maybe you should ask her yourself, bub.”}

Remy felt warm breath on his neck, he turned and saw Iceman had leaned in to see what was going on. His eyes were wide once more.

It was no secret in the mansion that there was no love lost between Scott and Logan, but neither young man in the surveillance room had seen them fight like this; uniforms torn, faces bloodied and bruised and that look in their eyes…

They hated each other.

Bobby turned back to the object of their affections.

Jean was beautiful, there was no arguing there, but she was married to Scott, Logan should just stay away. Well, that was Bobby’s opinion.

Remy had personally told Wolverine that he should go for it, he’d pointed out to the feral man that Scott was a boring bastard and putting more effort into his training than his sex-life.

Fortunately for the Cajun, Logan had never thought to ask how Remy knew Jean wasn’t being satisfied in bed.

“Cyke looks pissed.” Bobby commented, Remy nodded.

“We should go eat now, dey’ll be lookin’ fo’ us.” He turned his head slightly and came within millimetres of Bobby’s lips. Bobby drew back instantly, flushed.

“Yeah, I suppose.” He said.

Remy shut down the visual and audio systems then led Bobby out of the room. As he shut the door behind them, he slipped a bent pin into Bobby’s hand; he leant forward and whispered,

“’Y jus’ slip it in de hole an’ wiggle it ‘til it clicks.”

Bobby swallowed hard; he took the ‘key’ and made his way down the stairs.

Remy went outside for a cigarette, and to think.

When he’d first decided to break into the mystery room he hadn’t planned to take anyone with him, but as he inspected the lock he’d have to deal with, he’d realised it would take longer than he’d first guessed. He’d need a lookout.

It wasn’t as if Remy had a nice long list of allies at the moment though, he had caused no end of relationship trouble in the mansion.

He blamed his latest spate of charm power related problems on another evolutionary step in his mutation.

The first person he thought of was fellow thief; Stormy. But she was pretty close with the Prof; she might not have appreciated the opportunity.

Rogue? Not happening. They were supposedly on another ‘break’, i.e.; she couldn’t be bothered with him.

Bobby. Perfect, he was always trying to scrounge chat-up lines off his Cajun role model; he’d help break in.

Remy wasn’t attracted to Bobby, not even a little bit, but flirting was his ‘thing’, it flattered the ‘femmes’, and kept the ‘hommes’ on their toes.

And there was often the pleasant side effect of a good fuck.

Iceman had agreed to help, saying he had nothing better to do.

Remy dropped the butt of his cigarette and crushed it with his heel. Scott hated it when he left cig-ends lying around on the porch.

Remy grinned.

“Finally decided to join us, Gumbo?” Logan growled. Remy ignored him and took his seat next to Rogue.

“Pass us de potatoes, Chere?” he asked.

They only ate together on a Sunday, no one talked about it, it just happened. Like a tradition. It was somewhat amusing though because no one ever wanted to make conversation anymore. Scott gave a token piece about how the Prof said he was enjoying his holiday but didn’t want any of his x-men slacking on the training. This prompted a few groans. Then there was further silence.

Bobby hated the Sunday meal times, the awful silences, the way the x-men looked at each other, untold stories passing between the telepaths, and the way Remy baited his team mates, one day he was going to get the crap beaten out of him.

After the fight in the danger room, Logan and Scott weren’t even looking at each other.

Jean looked pretty pleased with herself though.

Oh no! Bobby suddenly thought, he couldn’t get rid of the image of Jean’s fine naked body in the shower, what if she tried to read him?

No one tended to leave the table before Logan, but this day Bobby had to bolt.

“I have to go.” He said, pushing his plate away and leaving.

Logan raised his eyebrows,

“This got anything to do with the time he’s been spending with you, Cajun?” he asked.

“What’re y’ implyin’?” Remy asked innocently,

“Just wondering if you’re fucking him.”

“Logan!” Jean cried, appalled.

“Why, y’ be jealous?” it was dangerous to flirt with Wolverine, but fun nonetheless.

He punctuated the question with a smirk and a suggestive raised eyebrow.

The fight Bobby had anticipated was imminent.

*Snikt*

Remy had a couple of seconds to wonder if anyone would make an attempt to help him before Logan’s hand was round his throat.

“I think we’d all be better off if I castrate him.”

Remy’s eyes widened as Logan’s claws slashed at the air in front of his groin.

That was when Scott butted in,

“You hurt him and I’ll hurt you.” He said calmly.

Remy took his chance and legged it, denying himself the opportunity for any more dangerous flirting.

Bobby fiddled with the pin, twisting it and waiting for the click, but it just didn’t seem to work. He couldn’t stop thinking about Remy’s instructions

Y’ jus’ slip it in de hole an’ wiggle it ‘til it clicks

He kicked the five-inch thick steel door.

He had to get in, this was the only place in the whole bloody house where Jean wouldn’t be able to read his mind.

It never occurred to him that Jean had much more important things to think about than what little Iceman was thinking.

“Need a hand, chere?” Remy seemed to have appeared from nowhere.

Bobby yelped.

“Jeez man, where did you come from?”

“Well, Remy’s Mama met Remy’s Papa…”

“Shut up, I need to get in here.”

Remy had the door open in a few seconds, he followed Bobby into the room and unplugged the monitor marked S21*.

“What was that one?” Bobby asked, as he flicked the main switch and all the other screens came online.

“Y’ don’ need dat one, dat’s Remy’s shower, Remy needs to wash.” He stayed long enough to make sure Bobby had all the systems up and running then he left.

Bobby watched the dining room argument progress to almost a riot before the x-men dispersed.

No one was doing anything interesting, Bobby looked at monitor B21, Remy’s room, the guy was just taking his stuff to the en-suite shower-room and before he could stop himself, Bobby had plugged S21* back into the system. It didn’t take long for him to realise that the ‘*’ was after the number code on all the shower monitors.

Okay, it was plugged in, but he wouldn’t watch.

It wasn’t like he was gay or anything.

He watched Hank and Storm sparring in the danger room. The camera at the front of the mansion showed Logan leaving. Hallway cam H32 showed Jean leading her husband to their bedroom.

Jean and Scott bedroom, monitor B31. Somehow Bobby knew that code.

B seemed to stand for ‘bedroom’, whilst H was ‘hallway’ and S was shower, then there were the various K=kitchen etc. The first digit after the letter was the floor level; Remy’s room was on the second floor, Scott and Jean’s was on the third floor.

Bobby watched somewhat distractedly as they undressed, he kept feeling his eyes wander over to S21*.

He sucked in a sharp breath as he saw the body of his friend.

Platonic admiration, of course, was all he felt towards Remy.

But…

Remy turned his face up towards to camera, and smiled.

“Shit.” Bobby muttered, telling himself to unplug the screen again.

Remy began to soap his body, running his hands all over his perfectly toned body.

Bobby couldn’t help noticing his friend had his nipple pierced.

“Cool.” He muttered, wondering how the metal would feel in his mouth.

Then he started wondering other things, strangely wrong things.

The screen showing Jean riding Cyclops no longer held his interest at all.

He remained knelt in front of screen S21* until Remy was done, then yanked the plug out of the back. When he stood he was horrified to feel his hardened dick pressing against his pants.

“This can’t be happening, I’m straight. Goddamnit I’m straight!”

On screen B31 Jean left her husband to sleep while she went to clean up.

Bobby didn’t feel at all compelled to watch.