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The Internet is scary
It's full of nasty people doing all kinds of horrible things to themselves
and each other. And animals.
However, it's also full of equally horrid types who are trying to undermine
the credibility of such organisations as PETA
by putting up "joke" sites.
The word "Joke" is perhaps misleading, as these sites are never amusing,
and always harmful to the poor, defenceless children who view them unsupervised
while their hard-working single mothers are out trying to earn an honest
wage.
JorG is a new kind of page; we know who's for real and who's not, but
we ignore their cries for attention. Right here, on this page, we expose
the frauds, and the real criminals, that make life online so hazardous.
We know you won't enjoy these sites, but perhaps knowing who's for real
and who isn't will help you decide which cause to start a chain letter
about this week.
If you know of a site whose veracity is in doubt, tell us. |
Genuine |
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Probably the most notorious animal rights abuser on the Internet. A brief
period of everybody thinking it was a joke has ended since the FBI investigation
which revealed an extensive kitten-mutilation network stretching from New
York to California.. and beyond into the great unknown. Terrifying stuff. |
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Patronising racism at its very worst. These bigots should be wiped from the face of the Earth. |
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Wo-Hen Nankan is indeed real. In fact, we listen to his latest album all the time in the JorG offices. Some people discredited the
site on grounds of being too over the top (we call it exuberance) but were really just scared of people who
aren't afraid to express themselves. Go Wo-Hen! |
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Although cleverly disguised with white-out, images from this site correlate directly with photos
recovered from POW camp escapees in Japan. A disturbing view into the heart of the hardship of WWII, and not
the sort of site you would want your children to see. |
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Not only is this site genuine, but the author is a bona fide black belt. We sent a reporter
around to his house and he ended up in hospital for several hours with Kendo-bat splinters under his fingernails. |
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This good-for-nothing blagguard was busted by the FBI shortly after a tip-off from us. If allowed to continue
in his sick crusade against children's self-expression, he could have stunted the emotional development of an entire
generation of Americans, who might have been left unable to, like, express themselves. |
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Some people will have copulatory fantasies about anything. We have filed to have this site removed before
children are corrupted into having similar delusions about their parents' furniture. |
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The large price tag didn't put off the customers of this small sex-toy manufacturer. Disgusting. |
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Jest |
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Global conglomerate that seeks to break anti-trust laws, spy on your computer and stop you
from pirating all that cool software you'd never afford to buy legitimately in a million years? Yes, of course.
If you thought this one was real, go and sit in the corner. |
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A very subtle one, this; almost a "jest squared". At first glance the images of animal cruelty and "sports" that endanger lives are shocking. Then comes the "realisation" that all the images are faked. Not so. After extensive
investigation, our disturbing conclusion was that every image on this site is very, very real. |
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Our female staff were hugely relieved to discover that the entire Playboy empire is just a big joke.
Loveable rascal Hugh Hefner said, "I just wanted to see if people would swallow it. Nobody's that sexist,"
before dashing off to pretend to have a jacuzzi with six topless models. |
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Starving children, millions jobless, war, drought.. At times, the UNDP website made disturbing reading
for many. However, thankfully, it turns out that some interns at the UN invented the UNDP for a laugh
and the third world doesn't really exist. I hope you can all sleep more comfortably tonight, knowing that
the starving millions about whom you cared so deeply, aren't really there. |