The Hike

By Ed Carlson

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This story is purely fictitious. The names used herein are for character

identification and should not be construed as real people, alive or dead.

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“So Jodi, what’s on your agenda for the four-day weekend?” a co-worker asked as we sat in the employee lounge.

“Bob wants to go hiking. That’s not my idea of a great time, but you know Bob and how he likes the outdoors,” I replied.

“What is your idea of fun?” she asked.

“I’d like to curl up with a good book, go to the symphony or chamber music, or check into a five star hotel and let them wait on me hand and foot. Sex in my own bed is fun too.”

“Does Bob know that?” she quizzed.

“Yes, but he doesn’t like the sit-down things,” I said. “He would rather be on-the-go and have us sleeping in a tent on the side of a mountain some place. I love him so much that I’d do anything to be with him. He’s my whole life. I don’t know what I would do without him.”

“How do you manage to hike and camp without any arms?” she asked.

“I don’t do all that well,” I replied. “I have to rely on Bob for even the simplest things—especially once he laces up my hiking boots. Then I can’t use my toes the way I do at home and here around the office.”

“You certainly did get a lot of stares when you first started. People were sure wondering how well you would function here in the office,” she said. “You have really proved how productive that you can be. I still marvel at how fast that you can do keyboard entry with your toes.”

“I guess it’s all what you get used to. Twenty years ago when I was just five, things were a lot different. I had arms then. That’s when we were playing around a power substation. I stumbled, and my right arm hit a high voltage line. The force knocked me backwards, and my left arm came in contact with another. When I woke up in the hospital a week later, both of my arms were gone right at the shoulder, just like you see now,” I said. “I’m lucky to be alive and still be able to walk around.”

“Wouldn’t it be easier to have no legs rather than no arms?” she asked.

“I suppose,” I replied. “I’ve never really thought about it. I never had to make that choice, and now I’ve grown accustomed to the fact that I don’t have any arms. I try to do what I can. I know my limitations and don’t mind asking for help. Luckily, I have done gymnastics since I was little and am very flexible.”

“If you don’t mind me prying, how do you get along at home?” she asked.

“Just like here, I try and do everything I can. I have a live-in caregiver who helps me do the things I can’t. She has a regular job too and a flexible schedule that allows her to be home when I am. She’s free to do what she wants when I go out with Bob. Like this weekend, if Bob and I take off, she can do whatever she wants. It works out well for both of us.”

“Break time is over,” she said. “We need to get back at it.”

“I suppose you’re right,” I said as we stood up. “Thanks for listening to my complaining.”

“I didn’t consider it complaining. You were just telling me your preferences.”

We walked back to our respective cubicles. The good work fairies hadn’t come along and finished my work, so I sat down and slid out of my shoes. I slid my chair into alignment with the keyboard on the floor. I continued transcribing the manuscript. The guy’s spelling was atrocious, and I had to correct it as I went. The afternoon dragged on.

The phone rang. I picked up the receiver with my toes and, with a little twisting and knee flexing, placed it between my shoulder and my ear.

“Hi Jodi. What are you doing?” Bob’s voice from the other end of the line asked.

“Manuscripts, what else?” I replied. “What about you?”

“I just got back to the office. We finished up on the new plat survey we’ve been working on. I’m just going over our field notes so the draftsmen can get the coordinates they needed to finish up,” he said. “Are you still going on the hike with me this weekend?”

“I don’t know,” I said. “Maybe I’ll just stay home and veg out.”

“Come on and go with me,” he coaxed. “You know you like the scenery. It’ll be beautiful up there this time of year.”

“I feel so inadequate,” I said. “I have no sense of direction, and I’m always lost. I’m so damn helpless; you have to do everything for me.”

“I don’t mind doing things for you,” he said. “I look at it as part of being very much in love with a beautiful armless girl.”

“You’re sweet,” I replied. “You twisted my arm, so to speak. I’ll go.”

“I’ll be over at about seven-thirty tonight to help you pack.”

“OK. See you then,” I said. “I love you Bob.”

“I love you too Jodi,” he replied.

I hung up the phone and went back to work typing the manuscript with my toes. It finally got to be five o’clock. I put the manuscript away and shut down the computer. I slipped into my shoes. It was a nice Indian summer day, and I hadn’t taken a coat to work. The weather was still beautiful and warm. I walked the six blocks to my high-rise apartment. I caught the elevator to the forty-third floor. I got out and walked down the hall to my apartment. I used my toe to key in the combination on the special lock they had installed for me. The door buzzed, and I walked in.

“Beverly, are you here?” I called.

There was no answer. I had apparently gotten home first. I walked into the kitchen and checked the answering machine. There were no messages, so I went into my bedroom and laid my purse on the bed and dipped my head so that the purse strap would fall to the bed. I thought about trying to change clothes by myself. It would be a contortionist struggle, but knew I could do it. I’d done it a lot of times before. I decided to wait for Beverly. Helping me change clothes is part of our arrangement and why I give her free rent. I slipped out of my shoes. I walked into the living room barefooted and turned on the TV with my toes. I had just settled into my comfy chair and was using my toes to find the evening news with the remote when Beverly walked in.

“Jodi, are you home?” she called.

“I’m in here.”

Beverly walked in and sat in the other easy chair. She looked completely beat.

“That traffic on the bridge is simply intolerable. I’ve got to find a job on this side of the lake,” Beverly complained.

“Maybe you could get one in one of the downtown offices,” I offered.

“I don’t know anything about working in an office,” she said. “All I’ve ever done is build airplanes.”

“Don’t they have a plant in the south end that you could transfer to?”

“Traffic in the south end is worse than across the lake,” she replied.

“Have you thought about taking the bus?” I asked.

“Yes, but I don’t like hanging around some of the low-lifes who ride the bus.”

“Could you help me change clothes?” I asked.

“Sure. I need to change too,” she said as she got up.

I got up and followed her into my bedroom. She took off my top and undid my skirt. It dropped to the floor, and I stepped out of it. She unfastened my bra and took it off. It felt good to be liberated.

While I stood there in only my panties, she picked up my clothes and put them away.

“What do you want to wear?” she asked.

“How about just a tank top and shorts?” I said.

She went to the dresser drawer and got out a white tank top. She slid it over my head and pulled it down. With no arm stubs at all, only depressions where my upper arm bones once attached to my shoulders, the only resistance she met was that of my firm breasts. She opened the other drawer and took out a pair of shorts. I sat on the edge of the bed and held my feet up while she started the shorts over my feet and pulled them up to my knees. I stood up, and she finished pulling them up and fastening the snap.

“Hows that?” she asked.

“That’s great,” I said. “I’m glad you’re here to help me.”

“Thanks,” she replied. “I know you can do it yourself. I’ve seen you do it, but you sure do have to go through a lot of contortions just to change clothes. I’m glad it’s you who doesn’t have any arms and not me.”

“Oh, you get used to it after a while,” I replied. “Although sometimes I sure can get frustrated with how hard it is to do things.”

Beverly went into her room to change, and I went back to the TV in the living room. She soon came out dressed in a sweatshirt and blue jeans.

“What do you want me to fix for supper?” she asked.

“Why don’t you stir fry some of that chicken we picked up the other day?” I replied.

“That sounds good,” she said. She went into the kitchen. Soon the smell of stir-fry filled the apartment. “It’s ready,” she called.

I went into the dinning room where she had our plates already dished up. I sat down at my place and put my right foot up on the table. I picked up my fork between my toes and began to eat.

“I marvel every time I see you do that,” Beverly said.

“It took me a while,” I replied as I took another bite. “I really had to work on getting limber enough to be able to get my foot over my head. The toe dexterity came with practice.”

“What’s on the agenda for the weekend?” she asked.

“I promised Bob that I would go hiking with him,” I replied. “He’ll be over this evening to help me get my pack ready.”

“You don’t sound all that thrilled,” she observed.

“Well, you know this isn’t really my thing,” I said. “I love Bob so much and want to be with him. I like being alone with him, but a three-day hike in the woods is not my idea of a great time.”

“What don’t you like about it?” she asked. “The country is beautiful up there in the mountains.”

“I guess I’m completely out of my element. You know me; I have no sense of direction, and I’m always lost. Hell, I could get lost walking around the block,” I said. “One of the other things that bothers me is wearing hiking boots. Once he fastens the laces, it’s like I’m in handcuffs. The only thing I have to use then is my teeth. I’m completely at his mercy.”

“That is scary,” she replied. “Have you talked to him about it?”

“Yes, several times,” I said. “He just reassures me that as long as I’m with him, things will be all right. I guess they will; they have so far.”

“Are you going to go then?” she quizzed.

“I suppose so. I promised,” I said. “You have the long weekend to yourself.”

“If that’s the case, I’ll go see my sister. We haven’t gotten together for over a year.”

“Go and have a good time. I’ll hang out with Bob. I can stay at his place tonight, and we can get an early start tomorrow.”

We both got up from the table. Beverly put the dishes in the sink.

“Just leave them. I’ll load the dishwasher,” I said.

Beverly went into her room. I heard her talking on the phone. She came out with a big smile on her face.

“Nancy is free all weekend. She wants me to come down this evening,” she beamed.

“Go ahead and get going,” I said. “I’ll be fine alone.”

She rushed back into her room. I hadn’t seen her that excited in a long time. She soon came back out carrying an overnight bag. She had changed clothes too.

“I’m off,” she said as she gave me a little hug. “Are you sure that you’ll be all right here by yourself?”

“Get out of here and have some fun,” I said. “I’ll be fine.”

She picked up her bag and went out the door. My special toe-keyed lock on the door made a very loud click as it closed behind her.

I was alone. Not that I’m scared—I just don’t like being alone. I’ve had this feeling ever since my arms were amputated. Because of the things I can’t do for myself, I feel almost claustrophobic—kind of like I’m constantly tied up.

I went into the kitchen. I sat on the counter and, using my toes, took the dishes out of the sink and loaded the dishwasher. I got down and retrieved the dishwasher soap from under the kitchen sink. I sat on the floor and used my toes to open the pouring spout. I balanced the box of soap with both feet and poured it into the dispenser. I closed the spout and put the box of soap away. I stood up and closed the little door on the soap dispenser with my toe and used my foot to close the door. I stood back and used my toe to latch the dishwasher door. As I locked it, the dishwasher started to do its thing.

Feeling good about my accomplishment, I went back into the living room and continued with TV. I watched two of the early evening shows. The symphony was just getting started when the doorbell rang. I got up and went to the door. I looked through the peephole. Bob was standing there. I used my foot to work the lever handle on the front door and opened it. Bob came in and gave me a big hug, followed by a very passionate kiss.

“What’s up?” he said.

“Beverly has gone to her sister’s for the weekend,” I said. “You have to take care of me.”

“I’ll take care of you all right,” he joked.

We walked toward the living room. On the way, he helped himself to a beer that I kept in the refrigerator especially for him.

“Do you want one?” he asked.

“Sure, why not? If you’re going to take advantage of me, I might as well be drunk,” I teased.

He got us both one of the long neck bottles. He removed the bottle tops, and we continued on into the living room. We sat on the couch, and he put the two beers on the coffee table. He put his arm around me, and we engaged in some heavy kissing for a few minutes complete with his hand under my tank top feeling my breasts. I loved it and didn’t object at all.

He took a drink of beer, and I did the same. My technique was different from his. I slid forward on the couch, wrapped my lips tightly around the bottle, and lifted the bottle over my head when I tilted my head back. The trick is to put your tongue in the hole of the bottle to control the flow. I set the bottle back on the table.

One thing led to another. He had me undressed, and soon we were having sex on the living room rug. I love having sex with him. When his tongue touches my amputation scars, it drives me wild.

His penetration was deep. I loved the feel of him inside me and couldn’t get enough of him. The sex got pretty wild, as did our orgasms. When we finished, we both lay there on the floor, exhausted.

Eventually, we got up and redressed. Bob got my pack out of the storeroom while I took my clothes out of the drawers. It was easiest for me to pick them out of the drawer with my teeth. He came into the room with the pack and my hiking boots.

“I wish I didn’t have to wear those boots,” I said.

“The terrain is pretty rugged. You might turn an ankle without the support,” he replied.

“I know, but I’m so restricted with them on. My toes are my hands,” I replied. “It would be like you trying to do things with boxing gloves on.”

“I’ll be there to help you. When we set up camp, I always take your boots off so that you can wear your sandals.”

“But what if something were to happen to you on the trail? I’d be stuck with these damn boots on,” I replied. “I don’t think that I could get them off by myself.”

“Don’t worry; nothing’s going to happen,” he said as he took me in his strong arms and held me tightly. I felt safe and secure.

We finished packing and decided to spend the night at my place. His gear was already packed and in the SUV. Bob produced a map to show me where we were going. Maps make absolutely no sense to me at all. They just look like squiggle lines on paper. I nodded in agreement like I knew what I was looking at.

We watched the last of the football game on TV before we went to bed. We had sex two more times during the night. He left me so turned on that I couldn’t sleep. He lay there deeply breathing while I tossed and turned. I finally got to sleep. . . . .

When I awoke, Bob was not in bed with me. I smelled breakfast cooking. I was just about to get up when he appeared at the door carrying a breakfast tray, complete with a flower in a small bud vase. He put the tray down over my middle and propped up pillows behind me.

“This is wonderful, but I need my feet out to eat,” I said.

“In that case, I’ll just have to feed you,” he said with a big smile.

He put a napkin over my breasts and began feeding me. I loved the attention. When we finished, he took the tray out to the kitchen and I got up, stark naked, and used the bathroom. I had finished and was just coming back into the bedroom as Bob came back into the room too. He began fondling me, and before too long, we were having sex again.

When we finished, we both went into the bathroom and shared the shower. He gave me a thorough cleaning and rinse. We got out of the shower, and he dried me off with a large fluffy towel.

We went into the bedroom. He dressed me in hiking shorts and a v-neck tee-shirt with the sleeves turned in and sewn shut. I wore my sandals, for now at least. He got dressed in hiking shorts and a tee-shirt. He didn’t have to sew the sleeves shut on his tee-shirt.

I turned off all of the lights and checked to be sure the stove was off. Bob carried my pack, and we went down to the parking garage. He was parked in my marked spot like he always does. I don’t drive and don’t own a car. He beeped the remote door unlock, then opened the rear door and put my pack in beside his. My hiking boots were on top of the packs. He closed the rear door, and we walked around to the passenger’s side. He opened my door for me, and we engaged in a steamy kiss before I got in. He closed my door and got in on the driver’s side. He received another kiss as he fastened my seat belt. He started the SUV and backed out of the stall. He drove forward and out onto the street that headed for the freeway. We got on the freeway. The sun was shining on me. I got warm and sleepy. I soon drifted off to sleep.

When I awoke, we were no longer on the freeway but on a back road somewhere. None of the country looked familiar at all. There were large trees on each side of the road. He pulled off on a gravel road, and we began climbing steeply through a series of switch backs. After about fifteen minutes, we turned down an unmarked dirt road. He shifted into four-wheel drive before we crossed a small stream. We went up the steep bank and continued down the dirt road. The further we went, the narrower the road became until brush was rubbing on both sides of the SUV. We pulled into a clearing and stopped.

“We’re here,” he announced proudly.

“Where is here?” I asked. “All I see are woods.”

“This is where we start our hike,” he said.

“How come there are no other cars at the trail-head like we usually see?” I asked as he released my seatbelt.

“This isn’t an official trail-head,” he said. “I don’t like leaving my SUV at those if I can help it. Too much vandalism.”

“You did register with the Forest Service; didn’t you?” I asked.

“No. They would insist that we park at a trail-head,” he replied as he opened his door and got out. He came around and opened my door.

“So no one knows we’re out here?” I asked as I slid to the ground and we walked around to the back of the SUV.

“No, we’re on our own,” he said as he opened the back door.

“I don’t want to go then,” I said. “Take me back home.”

“If you don’t want to go, you can wait here for three days or walk back,” he snapped. “We came in that way.”

“You know damn well that I can’t find my way out of here by myself,” I snapped back.

“We came to go for a weekend hike, and I want you to come with me,” he cajoled. “Please.”

“Well, I suppose I have no viable alternative now,” I said. “OK, I’ll go.”

He reached in and retrieved my hiking boots. A pair of socks was already in them. I sat on the tailgate and slipped off my sandals. I held up a foot while he slid the sock and boot on it. When he had finished lacing the first boot, I held up my other foot. He put the sock on, and then slipped the other boot on. He laced it and picked up my sandals and put them in the top of my pack, then zipped it closed. I stood up, and he put the pack on my back. I turned around, and he adjusted the shoulder straps. When he had them adjusted so the pack was riding in the middle of my back, he fastened the cross straps that held the main shoulder straps so they wouldn’t slip off of my armless shoulders.

He put on his pack and locked the SUV. He started up a narrow trail through the woods, and I followed. The further we walked, the more dense the forest became. The trail became steep, and I struggled to try and keep up. This was not my idea of fun. We came to a fast flowing stream. The only way across was to wade about waist deep or cross on a big log. Bob crossed on the log first and took off his pack. He came back for me. I was scared shitless as we started across the log.

Bob backed up and held onto my pack straps as we inched our way across. After an eternity, we reached the other side. Bob put on his pack, and we continued up the trail. We broke out into a small sunlit clearing and decided to have lunch there.

Bob took off my pack and then his. I sat on a log as Bob opened the sandwiches that he had made. With my boots on, I was unable to feed myself. Bob held my sandwich for me while I took several bites out of it. We both had a drink from the canteen before we finished our respective sandwiches. The sun was warm, so we stretched out for a few minutes. I was almost asleep again when Bob said it was time to get going again. He helped me put on my pack before he put on his.

We started back up the trail and back into the heavy woods. Several trails had intersected in the clearing. Bob knew which one to take, and as usual, I was totally lost with no idea in hell where we were. We hiked through the heavy woods for the rest of the afternoon until we broke out of the trees and came upon a large river. It had a gray cast to it. I knew it was cold and glacier fed. We walked along the large gravel bar until we found a level sand bar to pitch our tent for the evening.

Bob took off his pack, then mine. He removed the tent from his pack and the poles out of mine. I sat on a large rock and watched. I was helpless with my hiking boots on. When he finished putting up the tent, he took my boots and socks off for me. I felt liberated as I slipped on my sandals. Both of the sleeping bags and pack mattresses were near the entrance to the tent. My job was to spread out the mattresses and sleeping bags. I was able to use my toes to unfasten the straps that held the mattresses tightly coiled. I spread both of them out and opened the valve to let the air automatically inflate them. When they were both inflated, I used my teeth to close the valve. I unfastened the straps around the sleeping bags with my toes and spread them out over the mattresses.

By the time I had finished in the tent, Bob was busily cooking dinner over the one-burner camp stove. It smelled good. I sat on the ground beside him. He dished up a plate for me and put it on the ground where I could reach it with my foot. I picked up the fork with my toes on my right foot. I maneuvered the fork into the stew and then up to my mouth.

“This is delicious,” I said. “I need your recipe.”

“It’s dehydrated food. All you do is open the bag, put it in the hot water, and dinner is served,” he said.

“Well, it tastes good,” I said. “I bet I could cook that.”

“You probably could,” he said. “The trick is to not burn your fingers.”

“I’ve got it made then. I don’t have any,” I joked.

He got a little red in the face and said, “I meant your toes.”

I didn’t say anything. I just smiled before I went back to eating. We had some cookies for dessert and some coffee later. It was a clear night, and we sat and enjoyed the stars when the dishes were done. It was getting chilly, and Bob put my sleeveless windbreaker over me. It was almost pitch dark when we decided to go to bed. We both got into the tent. Bob took all my clothes off for me. That’s the way I like to sleep, in the nude. I had him put some socks on me though. My feet got cold the last time. I slipped into my sleeping bag. I was able to reach the leather lanyard on the zipper with my teeth and zipped it up until only my head and neck were exposed. Bob stripped down to just his boxer shorts and slid into his sleeping bag. He gave me a passionate good night kiss, then zipped up his bag and turned off the light. It was pitch black, and suddenly the sound of the river was really noticeable. In the pitch darkness, we both quickly drifted off to sleep. . . .

The sun was streaming through the open tent flap and into my eyes when I awoke. I looked over for Bob, but he wasn’t there. I was not surprised. He often got up before me when we were out like this. I used my teeth to grasp the lanyard and unzip my bag enough for me to get out. Still wearing only socks, I stepped out of the tent. I looked around for Bob. I finally spotted him part way up a large rockslide that was just above the river. I slipped on my sandals and went out to relieve myself. I squatted down along the riverbank.

I looked up at the rockslide in time to see Bob starting to run. I heard a rumble and looked further up the hillside to see a large cloud of dust rapidly coming down the mountainside above him.

“Run Bob! Run!” I yelled.

He tried to get out of its way but soon was engulfed by the dust cloud and the large rocks that were causing it.

I screamed, but there was no one to hear my scream. Fearing the worst, I began to cry. With tears in my eyes, I ran over to the rock pile where I last saw Bob. The morning breeze had quickly blown away the dust, and there was a strange and sudden silence as I ran over there.

“Bob, where are you!” I screamed through my tears. There was no answer, now only the far away sound of the river.

“Bob, please be OK,” I sobbed even though I knew instinctively that he could not have survived the crushing blows of the boulders.

I kicked off my sandals and tried to move the rocks with my feet. I was able to move a few, but most were too large. I moved one last rock and screamed in horror when I saw his hand sticking out of the rock pile. It had been crushed and mangled. It was grotesque looking as it lay there lifelessly.

My worst fear had come true, and I knew that he was dead. I walked over toward a large rock. I was almost there when I dropped to my knees and threw up. When I finished, I struggled to my feet, and continued on to the rock where I sat down.

“Why Lord? Why did you have to take him?” I cried. “He was in his prime of life. I loved him and needed him so much.”

I sat there for a long time, just crying, wishing that he was not dead. I got up and retrieved my sandals. I slipped them on and started back to the tent. It wasn’t until then that the depth of my predicament struck me. If my armlessness was not a predicament enough, I was now all alone, deep in the wilderness, hopelessly lost, and no one knew where I was.

It took me a good hour to get my tee-shirt and shorts on. Luckily, the shorts had an elastic waistband and no belt. In the process, I took my socks off to be able to use my toes.

I walked over to the rock just outside the tent. I sat down and cried. I cried until I couldn’t cry any more. I got up and managed to slip on my windbreaker and my sandals. I decided to leave my pack. I started walking in the same direction as the river was flowing. I knew if I went back in the woods, the way we came, that I would never find my way out.

I had walked most of the day, and the sun was making long shadows when I sat down on a large rock. Walking along a riverbank wearing only sandals was not easy. I was almost completely exhausted, both physically and mentally, when I sat down. As I sat there, I noticed footprints in the sand.

“Hello. Is anyone there?” I yelled.

There was no answer. I got up and followed the tracks. They led to a camp at the edge of a clearing. I yelled again, with no answer. Their dishes were upside down on the table, and the tent was closed. I managed to get the tent flap open. There were three sleeping bags inside. I lay down on one of them and waited.

My wait was relatively short. I heard the men talking as they approached.

“Look, someone’s in the tent,” one of them said.

“Hello. I’m in here,” I called out.

“Come out and show yourself,” the same voice said.

As I stuck my head out of the tent, I was met by three rifles pointed at me. I began to cry at the thought of being shot after all I had been though. I regained my composure and stepped outside, and they dropped their guns.

“My God. She doesn’t have any arms!” the youngest looking one exclaimed.

“What in heaven’s name are you doing out here all alone?” the older man asked.

“I was hiking with my boyfriend,” I sobbed. “He was killed in a rockslide this morning. I’m lost and haven’t the foggiest idea where I am.”

“Where did it happen?” he asked.

“I’m not sure. I have a terrible sense of direction,” I said. “I got here by walking by the river in the same direction it was flowing.”

“So his body is back upstream?” he replied.

“I suppose so,” I said. “I just want to get back home. I want this nightmare to be over.”

“Don’t worry, we’ll see that you get home,” he said. “We need to call the forest rangers and let them know what happened.”

“That’s fine. I’ll tell them all I know,” I said. I began crying uncontrollably again.

“Ed, you go back down to the truck and use the cell phone to call. Tell them what happened. Be sure to tell them that he’s dead and that they won’t need to come until morning,” he said.

“But Dad, it’s getting dark,” Ed protested.

“Just do it. Take your brother Jim with you. And take two flashlights,” he instructed.

“Dad, do I have to go too? I want to stay here with the armless lady,” Jim said.

“Do it, and do it now. Bring back the extra sleeping bag too,” he said sternly.

Both of the boys put their rifles over their shoulders and picked up flashlights. They grudgingly started down the trail. My host started some coffee.

“My name is Jodi Victor,” I said as I tried to quit crying.

“John Castle,” he replied. “Have you had anything to eat?”

“Not today,” I replied. “Bob made us some instant stew last night. Everything happened this morning before breakfast.”

“How about if I cooked you up a steak?” he asked.

“You don’t have to go to that much trouble just for me,” I said.

“We have plenty. That’s what we were going to have,” John replied.

“I sure won’t turn it down,” I said.

He took a couple of steaks out of a package in the ice chest and put them on the grill over the open fire. We chatted while he cooked. He and his two sons were up there hunting. The steaks we were having were the venison that they shot two days ago. I normally didn’t like the taste of wild game, but I had no choice. Soon the steaks were done.

“What can I do to help you eat that?” he asked.

“If you would cut it up for me and give me a fork, I can do the rest,” I replied.

He did as I had asked and cut the steak into bite size pieces. He put a fork on the table beside my plate. I put my foot up on the table and picked up the fork with my toes. I stabbed a piece of steak and brought it up to my mouth.

“This is delicious,” I said as I picked up another piece of meat. “I normally don’t care for venison, but this is great.”

“That’s the damnedest thing I ever saw,” he said out loud.

I smiled and said, “Would you rather that I put my face down in my plate?”

“Oh, goodness no. It’s just that I’ve never seen anyone eat with their toes before.”

“How many armless people have you seen?” I asked.

“I guess you’re the first,” he stammered.

“Well, there you go,” I said with a big smile. “Two firsts in one day.”

“I guess you’re right,” he said. “Do you mind if I ask how you lost your arms?”

“That’s fine,” I said. “We were playing inside a substation and I fell. My arms touched hot wires, and when I woke up in the hospital, I didn’t have any arms at all. I was just the way you see me now.”

“How old were you?” he asked.

“I was five, and just thinking about starting school in a couple of weeks,” I said. “That was twenty years ago.”

“You seem to manage pretty well. I’m amazed at the way you eat,” he said.

“I have a live-in caregiver who helps me around the house. I work in an office, and people help whenever I ask. They’re great,” I said. “It’s like my arms are tied behind my back all of the time, but I can do pretty well if I don’t have to wear shoes. If I do, then it’s like I’m really tied up.”

“I was wondering why you were only wearing sandals out here. I see now.”

About that time, the boys came back. They had been running and were both out of breath.

“The Forest Service will send a helicopter in the morning,” Ed said breathlessly.

Jim put the sleeping bag in the tent.

“Good, why don’t you sit down and let me cook you each up a steak?” John said.

“Let me do it,” I said.

I got up and went over to the ice chest. I used my toes to open the latch and the lid. I reached in with my toes and picked up the string on the package and hopped on one foot over to the table. Both of the boys mouths were open as they stared at me. I put the package on the table. John untied it and put a large fork on the table beside the package. I picked the fork up between my toes and stabbed one of the steaks and, on the other foot, hopped over to the fire with it. I put it on the grill, and still holding the fork between my toes, I hopped back to the table. I stabbed the second steak and put it on the grill in the same manner.

“How do you like your steaks boys?” I asked.

Both of the boys just looked dumbfounded at me.

“She asked you boys a question,” John said.

“Medium,” they both said simultaneously.

I waited about five minutes, and then, using the big fork between my toes of my right foot, I turned both steaks. The boys just sat and watched me without a word.

When the steaks were done, I said. “Why don’t you guys bring your plates over here? I’d hate to drop such good looking steaks in the dirt.”

They both jumped up almost instantly and had their plates at the ready. I used the big fork and toes technique to dish up the steaks. They took their plates back to the table and without a word began devouring their steaks. John looked at me, shook his head, and smiled broadly. I returned his smile.

“How’s your steak?” I asked as I walked over and sat down by the boys.

“Delicious and good” were the words they used between bites.

After dinner, we all sat around the campfire and talked. The boys’ big question, how did I lose my arms and how do I manage without arms and hands? I used my stock answers on them and showed them some of the things I could do with my toes. Eventually, they ran out of questions when it was getting close to bedtime.

“Is there a toilet around here?” I asked.

“There’s a pit toilet down the trail about fifty yards,” John said.

“Would one of you be kind enough to hold the light while I go?” I said.

“I better do it. Boys, roll out her sleeping bag, then get ready for bed,” John said.

John held the flashlight while we went down the trail. The boys did as they were told. We could see the light in the tent. We came to the little outhouse. John opened the door for me. I went inside.

“John, I need to have you pull down my shorts and panties,” I said. “It’s all right.”

John did as I asked and pulled my shorts down around my ankles. I sat down and did what I came for.

“John, could you please pull my shorts back up?” I asked.

While looking the other way, he did as I requested.

“Thanks. You’re a prince,” I said and gave him a peck on the cheek.

“I’ve never had to deal with girls. I just have the two sons,” he remarked.

“They’re fine young men,” I said as we started back toward camp.

When we got there, both of the boys were already in their sleeping bags. John got into bed first, and then I slipped off my sandals and slid into their spare sleeping bag wearing my shorts and tee-shirt. I was more exhausted than I thought and quickly drifted off to sleep.

During the night, I had a nightmare of Bob in the rockslide and woke up screaming and sobbing. John comforted me, and I soon fell back asleep. . . .

I was the last one to get up in the morning. John was cooking breakfast when I walked out of the tent.

“Good morning,” he said. “How do you like your eggs?”

“Over hard please. It’s OK to break the yolk,” I replied.

The boys had finished their breakfast and stood around and watched as I picked up the fork between my toes and ate off of the plate. I quickly devoured breakfast.

We had no sooner finished breakfast, when we heard a helicopter. We all walked out and watched it land in a cloud of dust. The engine shut down, and two forest rangers got out and walked our way.

“Did you folks report someone being killed in a rockslide?” one of them said.

“My sons called,” John said. “It was Miss Victor’s boyfriend who was killed in the slide.”

They looked at me, and I nodded.

“How can you be sure he was dead?” the ranger quizzed.

“I saw his hand when I moved some of the rocks,” I said bravely. “It was grotesque and terrible.”

“Can you show us where you last saw him?” he asked.

“I have absolutely no sense of direction,” I said. “It was further up the river.”

“Do you think you could find it from the helicopter?” he asked.

“I don’t know. I’ll try,” I replied. “It was close to our camp.”

I thanked John and his sons for their kindness, and I walked to the helicopter with the rangers. They had me sit in the seat beside the pilot and put a headset on me, then fastened my seatbelt. The other rangers got in, and the pilot started the engine. The engine revved up, and we took off. The headset came on, and one of the rangers told the pilot to fly upstream. We were skimming along above the river when I spotted our tent.

I told the pilot to land by the tent. He gently set the helicopter down on the gravel bar about fifty yards from the tent. The pilot shut off the engine, and the rangers unfastened my seatbelt. They helped me down, and I led the way to the place where I saw Bob’s hand. It was still there. I sat on the big rock while the rangers removed the rocks that pinned Bob’s lifeless body. I wanted to look, but I just couldn’t bring myself to do it. The pilot brought a big black plastic bag with handles. I looked the other way as they put Bob’s lifeless body in the bag. One of the rangers came over to me.

“Can you give us a complete statement about what happened?” he asked sensitively.

“Sure, but I didn’t do that well with penmanship in armless girl school,” I replied.

“How about you tell me, and I’ll write?” he said with a smile.

I proceeded to tell him about our hike of the day before. I recounted how we had dinner in front of the tent. I also told him of getting up just in time to see Bob get caught in the rockslide. I told him how I had tried to move the rocks and found Bob’s hand. I described how I struggled to get dressed without assistance and my hike down the river.

The ranger was writing as I dictated. He asked me to read the statement he had written. It was almost word for word as I had recounted. He was surprised when I asked for a pen. I had him set the book and pen on the ground in front of me. I picked up the pen with my toes and signed my name at the bottom.

The ranger didn’t say anything, just looked dumbfounded at what I had done. While I was telling my story, I noticed that the other ranger and the pilot had taken down the tent and repacked our backpacks. They had also loaded Bob’s body in the helicopter.

“One question,” the ranger said.

“Go ahead,” I replied.

“What is an armless girl like you doing way out here in the wilderness?”

“Believe me. This wasn’t my idea,” I said. “Bob was the outdoorsman. I just went along to be with him. I loved him very much. God, I miss him.”

I started to cry again. The ranger comforted me and told me to take all the time I needed. He was very understanding. When I pulled myself together, he told me that we would be flying back to the ranger station where the coroner would be waiting. They would make arrangements to get me back to my apartment.

We got up and started back to the helicopter. The love of my life was gone, and I felt so empty. I wondered what life for me was going to be like without Bob. I knew my life would never be the same after our hike in the woods. And I was sure that this would be my last hike.

E N D