(The opening chords of "New Sensation" by INXS blows through the arena, a lot of fans
boo, but many fans, a few curiously holding "Please Don't Go" signs, are cheering like
mad)

		We are back, and folks, you're about to see a grudge match close to
	two years in the making!

	 An' two years is a heckuva long time ta be holdin' a grudge, boy.
	The hatred an' bitterness 'tween th'Canadian an' Grendel-boy been buildin'
	an' buildin' all that time, an' it's all a-gonna come to a head in a matter
	of moments.

		Two years ago, Chris Sim took Ernie Grendel out of the sport for
	a period of time.  One year ago, Sim re-opened those old wounds, and they
	fought in a Falls Count Anywhere match, the end of which Ernie was injured
	again!  When Ernie...

        	@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
       	 	@| __|\ \    / // __|     "Canadian Sensation"     @
       		@| _|  \ \/\/ /| (__           Chris Sim           @
        	@|___|  \_/\_/  \___|                              @
        	@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@

	...came back, Sim had gone away.  Now, TONIGHT, FALLS COUNT ANYWHERE, they
	have the chance to settle it all!


 ///-----\\\
| PA System |	"Let's Get Crazy"
 \\\-----///


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("Crazy" blasts through the arena and the crowd erupts...as does the pyro...and Grendel
walks out to the stage carrying a cart with about four unfolded tables stacked on one
another.   He stops, takes off three of the tables, and sets them on various places
on the stage)

		Ernie Grendel, the former EWC World champion, is in the house and he's
	in the mood to hurt someone.  Look at thos tables, he's not even going as far
	as taking them down to the ring!

	 Grendel-boy knowin' this fight ain't gonna stay or gonna be settled in
	the ring.  He's got some sick an' twisted plans fer Canada-boy, an' I wouldn't
	bet 'gainst all four of them tables, an' maybe even a couple more bein' turned
	ta firewood before this match is done.

	  Grendel has been waiting a long time for this match, Tara Jansen spoke
	last week about Christmas gifts, this is hers for Grendel, although you have
	to think that Chris Sim isn't going to stand there and get beaten on!  Wait,
	Grendel's got a house mic, what's he got to say?

[Ernie]
How many wrestlers does it take to screw up a match? Just one, if that 
one is "The Canadian Burning Sensation" Chris Sim. Chris... I just 
graduated from college with a stinking *Masters* in Literature and I 
*still* don't have the vocabulary to express to you just how much of 
a pain in my >goodness the censors are fast on the BEEP tonight< you 
are to me...

*large crowd poparoonie*

[Ernie]
So, tonight we get to have Yet Another Falls Count Anywhere match, 
which I *suppose* should be just what Happy, Chipper, Easy-Going
Ernie Grendel ought to want... but ya know, it isn't.

[Ernie looks up at the lights for a moment]

[Ernie]
Because what I *really* want, Sim, is for you to find the 'exit' door
in this arena and just get the hell out of my life! I am *so* damn 
tired of you... your voice, your entrance music, that STUPID thing you 
do with your arms before you hit what has GOT to be the LAMEST finishing
maneuver on the face of GOD'S GREEN EARTH! [Ernie takes a few deep 
breaths while the crowd reacts with some amusement].  So what I intend 
to do is this: I'm not worried about *winning* this match. Nope... 

[Ernie snaps his hair out of his face and regards Chris Sim with what
can only be defined as 'a flat-out crazy 1000 yard stare']

[Ernie]
My chief intent, in the course of this match, Chris, is to make 
DAMN sure that you NEVER WANT TO GET INTO THE RING WITH ME EVER AGAIN!

[Ernie keeps staring a hole into Sim's chest as the crowd soaks
this up]

[Ernie]
See... I've been an emotional and professional TRAIN WRECK for about 
three months... and it all boils down to YOU, Canada Boy! YOU put me 
here - YOU and your LACK of MANHOOD - YOU and your POINTLESS POSTURING
- YOU and your INABILITY TO TAKE 'I BEAT THE >BLEEP< OUT OF YOU SO 
LEAVE ME ALONE!' FOR AN ANSWER! So tonight... when that bell rings, I
want to put you on notice that this WILL BE your final match with me.
One way or another. Because after tonight, I can tell you this... 

You won't want to ever get crazy with ol' Ern again.

[Ernie spikes the mic]

		And Grendel jumps on the cart with the fourt table and RIDES THE
	CART DOWN THE RAMP!!!!  He's got the momentum, and he HURDLES THE TOP ROPE
	JUST AS THE CART CRASHES INTO THE RING!!!!  HE'S ON SIM, AND THIS CONTEST
	IS UNDERWAY!!!  Referee Terry Magnum, the enforcer of the EWC, just kinda
	standing back and waiting for pinfalls on this one.

	 An' that's the smartest thang he can dew, just stay back an' let these 
	boys fight ta the finish.  Even though this match ain't 'fficially a street
	fight, yew know it's a-gonna turn into one.  So just fergit 'bout the rule
	book, 'cause neither of these boys is a-gonna follow the rules.

	 Both men trading hard shots in the ring, OOOH, that knifeedge just
	left Chris Sim's fingerprints in Grendel's chest.  Sim sends Ernie to the ropes,
	GRENDEL WITH A HIGH CROSS BODY, WE HAVE ONE, WE HAVE TWO, we have a kickout,
	I didn't think Grendel wanted to end it *THAT* fast.

	 I don't thank so, neither.  But it might not've been a bad idea fer
	Canada-boy ta take the fall an' git his hide outta thar.  I dunno what Grendel
	got in mind, but it cain't be good.

	 Both men up, Sim with a roundhouse kick, Grendel ducks, *crack* HARD 
	double chop staggers Sim backwards, and now Ernie trying for an irish whip, and
	he HOLDS ONTO THE ARM, yanking Sim down hardway, and Ernie locks on a cross-arm
	breaker, but he can only get a few seconds before Sim finds the ropes.

	 Grendel-boy ain't gonna be happy with just a win here.  He wants ta
	put some major hurt on Canada-boy.  But yew know as well as I dew that kinda
	plan could wind up hurtin' yerself more than yer 'pponent.

	 Grendel now with a sitdown splash onto the arm, and he's back up, holding
	onto that arm, solid WRESTLING gameplan by Grendel here, SPRINGBOARD
	ARMDRAG, and Ern rolls on top - crippler crossface on Sim!! Is it just me, or is
	Ernie trying a bait-and-switch on Sim here, calling for his blood but going
	for his arm instead?

	 Well, a broken arm is a broken arm, no matter how yew slice it.  An' 
	whether yew git one by havin' it yanked outta yer shoulder socket or gittin' it
	smashed into a brick wall, It hurts like hell an' puts yew out fer a couple
	months.

		Ernie moving out of the crossface - and into a camel clutch, and this
	submission attack is confounding Sim so far...finally, Sim makes it to the ropes,
	and Grendel up..and just vertical splashes Sim right in the back.  Grendel up,
	runs forward, and SPRINGBOARD MOONSAULT VERTICAL SPLASH!  THAT had a bit more
	impact to it!

	 Grendel changin' the focus of his attack fer the moment.  I thank Sim-
	boy came prepared fer an all-out brawl, but Grendel ain't givin' it to him at
	the moment.

		Ernie grabs Sim's arms, rolls around into a Tomikaze, Sim breaks out,
	though, GERMAN SUPLEX!!!  Sim up, and he looks mad, has Ernie by the arm,
	FOREARM, and Ern hits canvas, Sim yanks him up..HARD chop sends Ernie down again,
	and like a yoyo Sim lifts him again, HEADBUTT!

	 He's mad all right, I don't thank knockin' Grendel-boy in the head is
	a-gonna work.  He ain't got much in thar ta rattle 'round.

		And again, Sim yanks him up and sends him to the ropes, Sim planted...
	ERNIE WITH A FLOATOVER DDT!!! *Crowd Pop*  

	 Y'know, I've been watchin' this here Grendel-boy, an' I don't thank
	he got many moves which he don't leave his feet.  Case in point right thar.

	 Ernie rolls Sim over, we have a cover, one, TWO...kickout by Sim, and
	Ernie locking those legs around Sim's torso, and Sim in a pinning position 
	again, one, TWO...Sim with the legs, flips Grendel backwards into a pinning
	predicament, one..TWO...Grendel pushes off, both men up, Ernie charges..SIM
	JUST BACKDROPPED GRENDEL OVER THE TOP...Grendel lands feet first on the apron,
	stumbles back onto the table...SIM SPRINGBOARD SUNSETBOMB, AND HE JUST *PLANTED*
	GRENDEL ON THE RING FLOOR!!!!

	 Planted, nuthin'!  He dun tried ta send 'im right through the floor!
	An' he almost dun-did it!  

		The impact of that move, I could hear Grendel's head bounce from here!
	Sim is up, and he's laying the boots into Grendel something fierce.  And will
	you look at that, Sim just spat on the fallen Grendel!  No respect there at all.

	 Respect?  Yer talkin' 'bout two years of absolute hatred, an' yer
	lookin' fer respect???

	 Sim now grabbing a chair, not Lucille this time, thankfully, and he
	brings that chair across the back of Grendel.  Now he sets the chair on the
	ground and yanks Ernie to his feet by the hair, you can tell by how he's standing
	Ernie's dazed...DDT RIGHT ON THE CHAIR!!! Sim's not fighting a match, he's trying
	to put Ernie out permanently!

	 Yew just nailed it, boy.  This is what Canada-boy came ta dew.  Sim ain't
	gonna wrassle Grendel 'gain, not 'cause he don't wanna, but 'cause Grendel ain't
	never gonna wrassle 'gain!

		Much more of this and Terry Magnum may have to step in and stop it whether
	Ernie wants it or not.  Legdrop by Sim, and a cover, this is Falls Count Anywhere...	
	but that's only worth a two this time.  And Sim now tosses Grendel's body across
	the ring divider, and he goes to set up a chair, what's he trying to do here?

	 Ain't shure, but first hunch says Grendel-boy's a-gonna be wearin' that
	thar chair as a nose ring when it's over!

		Sim backing up, that chair's set up, he's going for a triple jump moonsa..
	HOLY MARY MOTHER OF GOD, GRENDEL WITH A TURNAROUND SPEAR OFF THE DIVIDER, AND 
	HE CAUGHT SIM IN MIDAIR AND *DROVE* HIM BACKFIRST, UPSIDE DOWN, INTO THE RING
	APRON!!!  THIS KID IS ABSOLUTELY INSANE!!!

	 An' yer findin' this out just now?  Yer denser'n he is!

(Chants of "CUT 'N SHOOT!" ring through the arena)

                            ///--------------------------\\\
                   /////////       __      _                \\\\\\\\\
                |||               /__\ ___| |_ _ __ ___              |||
               |                 / \/// _ \ __| '__/ _ \                |
               |                / _  \  __/ |_| | | (_) |               |
                |||             \/ \_/\___|\__|_|  \___/             |||
                  x\\\\\\\\\                                /////////x
                  x         \\\--------------------------///         x
                  x                                                  x
                  x                                                  x
                  x   (Slow motion shot of Sim jumping off the       x
                  x   chair and springboarding backwards into a      x
                  x   moonsault, except once he completed a 180      x
                  x   Grendel jumps in from out of camera and        x
                  x   spears him backwards into the ring apron)      x
                  x                                                  x
                  x                                                  x
                  x                                                  x
                  x         ///--------------------------\\\         x
                  x/////////    _        _   _              \\\\\\\\\x
                |||            /_\   ___| |_(_) ___  _ __            |||
               |              //_\\ / __| __| |/ _ \| '_ \              |
               |             /  _  \ (__| |_| | (_) | | | |             |
                |||          \_/ \_/\___|\__|_|\___/|_| |_|          |||
                   \\\\\\\\\                                /////////
                            \\\--------------------------///

	  Is there anything Grendel will not do out there?  Both men
	slowly getting up, Ernie gets there first, and he grabs Sim by the
	hair...TOSSES HIM HEADFIRST INTO THE STEPS!  That's going to buy
	Ernie some time to get his head together, but is his body going to
	be together by the end of this?

	 I don't thank that boy cares no more!  He's been hurt an' beaten
	so many times, he prolly don't feel it no more.  All he knows is that if
	he dishes out more than he takes, he's had a purty good night.

		Ernie in the ring now, awaiting Sim getting onto his feet,
	what's he trying here...BASEBALL SLIDE INTO A BULLDOG ON THE OUTSIDE!!!

	 I betcha that move's a requirement at that thar Cut'n'Shoot school.
	The now-retired Bill Curtis used that thar baseball slide into a DDT.
	Grendel-boy comin' up with his own li'l take on it.

	 Grendel laying into Sim on the outside with chops...Sim with a
	boot to the gut, going for a vertical suple...GOURDBUSTER ON THE STEEL
	RAMPWAY!!!!  And once again the pendulum shifts over to Chris Sim.

	 Dun-near broke Grendel-boy in half with that forward suplex!  An'
	now he's got 'im out thar near all them tables Ernie set up before the
	match, an' yew better believe he's a-fixin' ta break a couple of 'em usin'
	Ern's body!

		Sim dragging Grendel by the hair up the rampway, and he's setting
	for a DDT again....and opts for a TORNADO DDT OFF THE SIDE OF THE RAMP!!! 
	That's a four foot drop off the side of the ramp right onto the concrete!
	No padding, no protecton, and Sim's drawn blood from the forehead of 
	Grendel!

	 Sim-boy landin' hard, too, but it's clear who took the most of that
	hit.  An' again I say that Grendel-boy's been knocked 'round so dang much,
	he prolly didn't feel a thang!

		Grendel staggering to his feet, heading backwards to the area in	
	front of the main stage..and Sim with a running start off the STAGE..
	DOUBLE AXEHANDLE TO THE BACK OF GRENDEL, and Grendel is sent sprawling!

	 Now a lesser wrassler woulda been done fer after that thar DDT, but
	Grendel-boy's so gol-dang nuts, he don't know any better.  Yew gotta dang
	near knock him unconscious, 'cause yew know he ain't gonna quit!

		Both men going into this like there's no tomorrow, Grendel saying
	this is the last time he ever wants to deal with Sim, and I don't think
	Sim will want a return match after this one either!  Sim now tossing
	another chair onto the concrete, and a swinging neckbreaker drives
	Ernie's head right into the chair again.

	 An' I guess Sim-boy musta heard me.  He's dang near tryin' ta
	knock Grendel out!

		Ern's gotta have a concussion by now, but that's nothing new
	to him. Cover by Sim, one, TWO...Ernie just alive enough to get a shoulder
	up, and Sim now pulling Ernie to his feet...and he just TOSSED GRENDEL
	RIGHT INTO THE ELECTRICAL TABLE!!!! SPARKS FLYING, THAT'S ATTEMPTED 
	MURDER!!!

	 Well, lessee...Sim-boy's powebombed Ernie onto the concrete, DDT'ed 
	'im onto a chair, DDT'ed 'im offn' the ramp, an' *now* yer sayin' he wants ta
	kill the boy?  He's been tryin' da to that since the gol-dang match started!

		Sim tried to ELECTROCUTE ERNIE, thankfully, they cut the power to those
	systems, and Sim choking Ernie with the electrical wire here. Ernie slumping
	against the table, and Sim's got the chair again...Grendel lunges, double leg
	takedown bounces Sim's head off the concrete, and he rolls over into a pin..
	we have TWO...*OH*, so close!

	 Grendel-boy gittin' close ta desperation time out thar.  An' if yew
	thunk he was insane before, just wait 'til he gits desperate!

	 Grendel's got the chair now, and he...tosses it to Sim?  Sim reflexively
	grabs it - SPINWHEEL KICK SENDS THE CHAIR RIGHT INTO SIM'S HEAD!!!!  Cover,
	one..two...THRR..NO!!! SIM JUST *BARELY* HANGING ON!!!  And Ernie's on the
	electrical table!

	 Y'know, it's a bit funny that he took all that time settin' up them 
	tables before the match started, an' th'only one he's used so far is one that's
	been set up before the first bell even sounded!

		Ernies on that stage, and he's tossing the tables he set up earlier
	down onto the ground level!!! I guess this is a change in plans, but I hope 
	he's not using too much time here!

	 Sim-boy ain't moved much since he took that chair to the face.  I
	bet Ernie-boy thanks he can git away with a li'l furniture movin'.

		Grendel finally has all three tables down there, and he slides dow...
	CROSSHAIRS!!! SIM OFF THE ELECTRICAL TABLE JUST BLINDSIDED GRENDEL WITH THE
	CROSSHAIRS!!!

	 That's it.  Ernie-boy gotta be unconscious now...

		Grendel's limp, and Sim covers, one, two, it's ove..NO IT'S NOT!!
	GRENDEL JUST KICKED OUT OF THE CROSSHAIRS!!!!  

	 Guess not unconscious enuf!  Sim thought he had 'im, an' now he's
	fit ta be hog-tied!

		Sim's frustrated right now, and he just rolled Grendel onto the 
	electrical table, Sim climbs up now, and he positions Ernie for a piledriver..
	this could break his neck, it'll certainly win the match for Chris Sim if
	he hits this...he lifts...he's not strong enough, Ernie backdrops him!!!
	
	 Dang, Grendel-boy's got more lives than an ol' barnyard cat!  I counted
	at least three or four he's used up already!  How many more's he got?

		Both men still on the table, it didn't break from the backdrop, and now
	Ernie has him set up......suplex off the tab..NO!!! *CRACK* LAWN DART!!!
	THAT WAS A "LAWN DART" SUPLEXDRIVER RIGHT THROUGH THE TABLE!!!!!

	 Yew wanna talk about 'ttempted murder, boy?  *Thar's* yer 'ttempted
	murder!  That move was designed ta dew one thang only, an' it's ta break
	someone's neck!

		The old MTV game show "Remote Control" had a category called "Dead or
	Canadian?"...right now, Chris Sim is *BOTH*!!!  Grendel now setting up
	the tables next to the stage, Sim is NOT MOVING, Ernie could pin him, but
	he's opting for more punishment!

	 As if that neck crusher weren't enuf!  He wants ta foller through on
	his vow ta make shure Sim-boy don't ever wanna git in the ring with him
	again!  An' he's building a mountain outta them tables...

		Three tables stacked on each other about five feet away from the
	back of the stage..and Ernie just put Sim on stage..
	He's taking a long time here, Sim is down, but you can't count him out. Ernie
	now rolling Sim onto the top of the three tables...and he's pointing up!!!
	Up WHERE?!?! Where does he have to go!?!

	 Ain't nuthin up thar ta climb on 'cept that thar Solo-tron thangee....
	Oh now hold on just a cotton-pickin' minute here!

		He's not.  He's not....He is.  ERNIE CLIMBING THE FRAMEWORK OF THE
	DAMN SOLOTRON!!!  

	 He's riskin' all the rest of his lives on this death-dee-fyin' stunt,
	boy!  One slip-up an' it's literally all over!

		He's halfway up the framework, that's a 20 foot drop straight down to
	the stage, much less the floor, Grendel trading his career for vengeance here...
	He's hanging off that framework and MOSHES HIS HAIR!

(The crowd at this point is going batshit)

	 If he blows it here, yew can fergit 'bout an ambulance.  Yer a-gonna
	need a HEARSE!

	 Grendel is primed.....SKYTWISTER PRESS OFF THE *BLEEEEEEP* SOLOTRON!!!
	AND HE LANDS RIGHT *THROUGH* THE CANADIAN SENSATION!!!!!

(One "HOLY SHIT" gets out before the censors silence out the crowd a bit more)

	 Through Sim-boy an' three tables, Cross!  I thank he's got a tattoo
	of fake wood veneer permanently stuck on his back!

		Grendel never ceases to shock me in the lengths he will go to win a
	match...and the referee going over to the carnage, Grendel is on top...one..
	two....three!!! NO ONE short of Superman is getting up from that!

("Crazy" by Seal blasts over the speakers as the crowd cheers like fiends)

	 I cain't even hear myself *THINK*, it's so loud in here!

		Grendel is beaten, he's bloody, but he's the one still standing
	after this is all over - paramedics are already getting Sim on the gurney
	and taking him away...but Grendel refusing medical attention for the 
	moment - he's climbing on that stage, and BY GOD, HE'S DOING THE HAIR
	MOSH!

	 Well, in the words of another famous TV Texan, that boy ain't right!
	He got the win, he got his revenge, but I wouldn't wanna be him when he
	wakes up in the mornin'!

		He's in that Nightmare Gauntlet, and after tonight, I would not
	bet against him!

                                    @@@@@@@@@@@@@@
*********************************** @  Camera Cut  @*************************************
                                     @@@@@@@@@@@@@@

(Cut to Jerone McShea, who is standing outside a dressing room with Ronnie Frown)

[McShea]
Ronnie, tonight, you still have one more...

(Frown shoots a glare at McShea that could pierce steel...he then grabs the mic
and McShea quickly retreats)

[Ronnie Frown]
You know, things are getting a little confused in Ronnie Town. See,
this is supposed to be the time of year when a man is finishing off
his Christmas list, and putting a start on his New Year's Resolution
... but here in E-W-C, we're a few months behind. Here in E-W-C, it's
looking a lot like the end of the October, because they've got us
thinking about nightmares.

See, WHEN I step into the Gauntlet at Snowbrawl for that final match,
it's not just going to be a title on the line -- the girls up top have
promised the losing man his worst nightmare will come true. Now, this
is the part where Ronnie Frown is supposed to tell you all what MY
worst nightmare could be ... but I think to myself, "This IS my
nightmare. Every. Single. Night. I ... am a professional wrestler ...
performing for YOU."

{He pauses for a moment while the crowd gives its opinion of that.}

[Ronnie]
{dryly} Oh, well -- the girls didn't take that either.

But if I stop to think, I CAN envision one way that my life could take
a turn for the worse, ONE THING more vulgar, more repellent, more
stomach-churning than walking out here night after night to risk
bodily harm against one more of the yahoos that you people love SO
much. And that ... that is to BE one of the yahoos that YOU people
love SOOO much. So if I have to play this little game for Tara and
Adrienne, that's how it goes. Ignoring for the moment that I WILL be
walking out of the arena at SnowBrawl the WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION
... I will guarantee tonight that if Ronnie Frown is not the WORLD
champion after SnowBrawl, then for the next month Ronnie Frown will
be the "People's Champion" -- I will be Fuego, I will be T.R. Parker,
I will be Damien Omega -- I will be the man that you people think you
want to see.

And speaking of Damien ... Omega ...

[Ronnie Frown]
Damien -- EX-CHAMPION, Damien Omega ... I want you to stop and think
for a moment before you step into this ring with me tonight. I want
you to think -- as you seem to so often do -- not of me, not of this
match, but of ... your fans. Yes, the ticket-buying leeches sitting
right in these seats tonight, Tara Jansen's raging hunger dog
Armagetto. I want you to think of those fans, think of how they feel
already having watched YOU, Damien Omega, crash and burn against
Steven Mauritz ... how they feel already, having watched Ronnie Frown
dissassemble the "Strutter" T.R. Parker ... and think, for a moment,
about how they are GOING to feel if you come out here tonight and
dredge up BOTH those memories all at once -- when YOU take a Bitter
Pill and go down for the count a second time.

You don't have to do this, Damien. I want you to know, from the tiny
shred of respect I still have for you as a fellow man at the mercy of
this bread-and-circus mob, you don't have to destroy yourself in a
vain attempt to please them. The sad fact of life is, Damien, you will
NEVER be able to give these bloodsuckers all that they ask you for --
ESPECIALLY if it involves you all by yourself against the Ten Thousand
Minute Man, in a match that you JUST CAN'T WIN. You don't have
anything to gain, and EVERYTHING to lose.

Walk away, Damien. Walk away now -- or get used to disappointment.

*fade*

    Source: geocities.com/e_w_c_2000