Classics
After his Corner was cancelled NC was very distrought. "He wouldn't talk to us and he just sat there sucking his thumb in a corner" says Jack Cloud. We here at the DZFL headquarters have just noticed he has been missing for two weeks now. "He was gone for days at a time before but we figured he was just stuck up a tree or at big NJ's housse or something" says David Carleson. We think he ran away to South Dakota but we only have minimal evidence of that. It is also very possible that he miraculisly climbed into his own rectom and just dissapered. If spotted please call 1-800-123-DZFL.
These were the words uttered last Thursday evening while Fozzy Bear, a youn gaspiring comedian was giving the count a private show in his castle. As most of you know the Count is a very powerful man on Sesame Street. After Fozzy told the joke "Why did the Italian run away from the Germans. He found himself hanging out of an eighth story window with a rope tied securely to his ball sac. you can pretty much see th rest in your head. After the fall fozzy ran into town yelling in a very high pitched vioce "Wakka Wakka Wakka, He toremy balls off, Wakka Wakka" Police were nodifiedand imedietlyrode to the counts castle where they found the count barricaded inside. The word on Fozzy is he/she is on the LPGA tour and enjoys watching the WNBA.
By: David Carleson
Typed by: Niel Druwel
On Tuesday, part of the famous duo, Bert and Ernie, Ernie was killed by Bert. Bert said he was fed up with "Ernie and his ducky" although his languege was a bit more inappropriate. Bert went on to say "I will kill that backstabbing Snuffalapogus for turning me in." Police said that Bert pulled up to Ernie and shot him several times before fleeing. They hope this wont effect Big Bird or any of the other Neighborhood street citizens. They caught Bert at the Sexame Street Strip Tease
They are also trying to catch Grover, Coockie Monster. Elmo and natorius mob leader the count.
By: Niel Druwell
Above shown is a picture of the original fearsom five gang. This picture is of Ernie and Bert before the great 2003 Clash of Seasome street. This mugshot was taken after the gang beat and molested the deaf, mute lady down the street. This act was followed by public urination and playing scruffy with fozzy bear. Or they dragged him across seasome street with a rope hoping he would get hit by a car. You may have known from recent stories that the group split up and formed the East and West side gruesome twosomes.The west side consists of Bert and Ernie. The east side consists of Elmo and Cookie Monster. As for Oscar he was gang banged and raped by all the former members of the fearsome five and then left in a garbage can wich he has never left. With Ernie dead and Bert and Elmo in jail. Meanwhile Cookie Monster is being searched for after the drug raid behind Hoopers Store. This once great gang power has been left in shambles.
By. David Carlson & Jack Cloud
Brought to you by the letter Q
Elmo was arrested yesterday in a drug raid in the back of hoopers store. Witnesses say they saw cookie monster fleeing the scene. Elmo now is custody and has very serious charges against him Including assisted murder of ernie robbing the neiborhood street bank, and attempter murder of Gordon, the neiborhoods only black man.If he is convicted of all charges he will face the death penalty making him only the third monster to face the chair.
By: David CarlesonElmo Drug Bust