Interesting Things My Dad Has Said
In this section I shall try to recount some of the more amusing quotes to ever come from my father, the infamous (dramatic pause) Pete!
The setup:  My mother opens the refridgerator to find an empty pizza box.  Finding this to be unusual she questions my father as to his thoughts on the matter.
Witnesses:  Mary, Me
"Pete, why did you put an empty pizza box back in the fridge?"
To which my father replies:  "Because I thought you might want to look at it Janet."
ZING rating: 5/5

The setup:  My family, Andrew, and Eric are on the back porch enjoying freshly grilled hamburgers.  I have gone inside for a moment.
Witnesses:  Eric, Andrew
  Drew stands in front of my mom and she says "You'd better not block my sun"
To which my father retorts "The son went inside the house, Janet."
ZING rating: 5/5

The setup:  Eric and I have the bright idea of shooting dogfood at a wasp nest using a slingshot.  Thinking ill of our plan my father explains how he would go about matters.
Witnesses:  Eric, Me
"Yeah, I usually take a long pole......and stick it right up in the nest....and run away.....heh....yeah.....run away....heh heh."
ZING rating: 4/5

The setup:  Earlier in the day I had unchained the dogs and let them out of their pen.  Upon inquiring about this my father inadvertently throws my mom into a laughing fit.

Witnesses:  Mary
"Janet, who let the dogs out?"  My mother begins to laugh thereby confusing my father who is unaware of the popular one hit wonder song of the same name.  "No, seriously, who let the dogs out? What's so funny? Janet? I just want to know why the dogs are out."
ZING rating: 3/5